hope

My theme word for many years now has been the word HOPE.

There have been many days where hope has kept me going, when the day head seemed more than I can handle or cope with in the moment.

Not my cat Hope, although she was aptly named, as in ‘I hope you will feed me’!

Not an earthly based hope, because I am quite aware as that people cannot help but wound and hurt those we love, putting our hope in a person isn’t the wisest of decisions.

Not a hope in stuff, either. Money, treasures and power are all fleeting, as is life itself. One day you can be on top of the world, the next day will see you losing it.

My hope is in the One who never changes.
Always loves me, no matter what.
Wants the best for me, every single time.
Died for me, so we can be together, not just here on earth, but forever.
Moment by moment, with me and in me and around me.
I am never alone, unwanted, abandoned.
He provides for my needs, inner and outer.
He whispers my true name, sings over me, wraps me in His strong safe arms.

My hope is Jesus.
My hope is secure, no matter what.

our view

‘How we view Jesus frames how we experience Him.’

I am reconsidering how much of how I respond to others is based upon my brokenness, wounds or faulty programming. John Eldridge addresses this brilliantly in his book, “Beautiful Outlaw”, laying out practical, real examples that our preconceptions or inner bent shapes how we can receive.

It is a bit of a jolt to the core to realize that what one thinks actually can limit your reality.

Many years ago, I had a few life changing encounters that radically changed me from the inside out. I was healed of the fear of losing another baby in the womb, my fear of dying under an aesthetic, losing the roof over our head….and in each of these ways, Jesus revealed himself more than enough in lovingly restoring and providing what was needed in each situation. When a full turkey dinner shows up at your door from people you only met once six months earlier, and they tell you God asked them to provide for us in our need, you are changed.

If you believe that God is stingy, you would have a hard time seeing God in that above turkey scenario, and would likely just put it down to coincidence.

Believing that Jesus cares about the roof over my head, helps feed me and take care of my inner emotional needs- that is possible only if you believe God does all those things. The Jesus I see in the gospels does that, and way more.

Ask yourself- how do I believe Jesus shows his love for me? If you, like so many of us, have difficulty answering that question, you may need to look into the Word and take another look at the very real, wants to be intimately involved in your life, fascinatingly complex man Jesus, the loving awe inspiring Abba who sent him, and Holy Spirit, who lives and moves in us, guiding, comforting and teaching us.

Your view may never be the same again.

Mine hasn’t been. And keeps changing as I leave behind that which needs changing, gaining fresh vision of just how much Jesus is for me.

my untold story

Part of why i blog is the discovery involved.

Not of necessarily outside facts, but rather little nuances or snippets of myself that I learn as I explore when prompted or led.

How much I love to just write was discovered as a part of a creative English class in late high school, in a journal assignment for the semester that we could set up any way we wanted. The only parameter: to write in it 5 days a week.

Mine was a creative experiment, to put it lightly.

Cut outs of images and quotes that caught my eye and my heart.

Tear stained youthful drama written down to release the inner anguish of the moment.

Song lyrics that express what I could not, yet felt I could have written.

My life, in tumblr format, long before it came to be!

Needless to say, my teacher was fascinated by my visual creativity, and encouraged me to keep writing to release not only my emotions and creativity, but to allow the gift of communication to grow.

This blog, and its expression for all its ragged, unshaped, naked earnestness, is my untold story.

Finally being birthed.

It is never too late to create.

Oceans// Hillsong UNITED

Little girl, arise

Such beautiful words.

I pray now, “Spirit, lead me where my trust is without borders. Let me walk upon the water, wherever you would call me. Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander, and my faith will be made stronger in the presence of my Savior.” I am ready to sink in love and grace. I want to be consumed by His power. I may fail, but I will call upon his name to redeem me, and keep me moving forward into eternity.

One of my favorite lines is, “You’ve never failed, and You won’t start now.” There were times where I thought I was alone in this world, and there was nothing else out there. But now as I look back on my life and the paths I’ve taken, there is no way we are here alone. God has led me to where I am today and…

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