best – KARLA LEES

when you don’t quite have the best fit

October 17, 2015October 17, 2015 Karla Lees

For the past few years, I have struggled to find the best fit for myself in a pair of jeans. I have more padding than I would like in my ab area, with a literal vs visual tush (basically flat) and fairly skinny legs.

I have curves in the wrong places for the trendy type of pants that are usually the easiest to find when looking for jeans.

Either I find a pair (my previous best fit) of skinny ones with a midrise and have sag beneath my tush, or find a great tush fit with wide wide legs and difficulty breathing (not an option for great quality of life).

Because I am also between sizes, and am over 5’8″ tall, this combination has made it very hard to find my best fit.

Until last Saturday.

I happened to be at the mall with a girl friend, and we decided to poke in a new store that we can across there.

And on a mannequin on the top shelf above their jeans, were my dream jeans.

Ladies, you know what i mean. The pair you just know that you know are going to be a perfect fit for you.

And guess what? After 5 different styles of jeans, guess which pair I ended up with?!

MY perfect fit.

So why I am sharing about finding the perfect fit of jeans?

Because just as the widow got justice from the earthly judge she kept going to day after day after day (Luke 18), committing to get your answer when you are looking for your best fit is possible.

And God encourages us to do so.

He wants us to know what we are passionate about, then pursue Him until we learn and can see where our best fit is.

I have known for years that I am not an average puzzle piece. I don’t fit with everybody else fits & talent wise. I am custom designed to be a part of the puzzle, but in the exact place I am meant to fill.

I am made for my perfect fit. Just as you are.

Now, I am not saying that we aren’t to serve or work outside of our passion. I am saying that God knows where we are to be the perfect fit for what He has planned for His KIngdom, and He chooses to use us uniquely shaped people to fill in the right places for His blessings to flow.

Because if your barista is meant to serve people, they will greet you with a smile, learn your name and get your order right.

Your kids’ babysitter, child care provider or teacher will celebrate your child’s successes, and inspire them to be the best they can be.

Your pastor will learn your name, pray for you, encourage you to find your place in the body you belong to.

Your mechanic will care that you are stressed out by your sudden car repair, and get how you need you need it fixed and fast.

Your doctor will take the time to explain and listen to you during your visit, without making you feel like just a number in line.

But put someone designed to be a mechanic in your local coffee shop as a barista? Or a ballerina in as your pastor? Or a rock star as a grocery teller?

Not the best fit for their skill set, even though they might get the job done.

And if you don’t know yourself the way God has designed you to best fit, you can spend a lot of time and energy pursuing the wrong paths.

If you are looking for your best fit?
Where you are meant to release His Kingdom with your gifts & talents?

Ask Him.

He knows when and where you are to be.

He knows how and why.

He knows if it meant to be you or someone else.

I was in a job I did well in, but not the best fit for me. I asked God to make it quite clear if I was to stay or go, and He did.

We were attending a church where we loved the people, but after many years, staff changes and most of our friends moving on, we needed to ask God if we were to stay or to go, and He did. We are now in a better fit for all four of our giftings in our family.

Again, I am not advocating change for change sake, nor recommending one church over another. We are one Body.

But the church around the corner might need your gifts, and the church you are currently in doesn’t. Because it isn’t your best fit.

You might be better suited to go to another country and use your gifts there versus in your local community. Because that may be your best fit.

God may want you to be the first parent in your family line to stay at home and raise your children instead of working full time out of your home.

You may be meant to minister in word, song, prayer, encouragement, healing or teaching.

And you may not have figured out where He wants you yet as you are so busy doing, you haven’t set aside the time to sit at His feet and listen.

In order to find the perfect fit, you have to be actively seeking it.

If you, like me, have forgotten who He made you to be and need to rediscover yourself, i would like to suggest a few things to help you along the journey:

1. Do a spiritual gifts assessment. Answer honestly, and you may be surprised by the result. Something you may have thought of as not relevant may be part of how He points you to your best fit. The thumbnail is the best one I have ever done, and have actually taught.

2. Discover your love language. Visit the 5 Love Languages website, and learn how you best receive love. This definitely impacts how you feel you fit.

3. Direct Revelation: Pray, worship, journal, read the Word. Spend quality time at His feet, and ask Holy Spirit to bring you revelation, and speak to you about where He wants you to serve to give Him the most glory. This may change over seasons in your life, but with Him as your guide, you will stay on course.

4. Don’t give up! Keep listening, seeking confirmation and His direction. He may have someone as you to do something you have never done before, and your spirit comes alive as you do.

How did you find your best fit? I just love how God speaks to each of us in just the right way we need to hear Him!

don’t skip your sorrows: wisdom awaits

April 8, 2015April 8, 2015 Karla Lees

Don’t skip over your sorrow, there is wisdom it wants to teach you.

-Dr. Henry Cloud

God uses all circumstances & scenarios to teach us if we are His, and to try and reach us if we aren’t.

My recent fall has taught me a few things about myself.

This being my second minor blow to the noggin, I realized I have been on the go too much without enough of His energy to keep me going.

Lesson #1:

Doing for the sake of my glory doesn’t bring Him glory.

As I have been needing more rest after this latest physical ‘adventure’ I have been learning to discern between laziness and my need for rest.

Lesson #2:

Its okay to listen to what your body needs, but you need to filter it through what He needs for you to do each day.

I am not the same person I was a few years ago, nor even the same as I was two weeks ago. I have been listening more, to myself, to others and to God. I find I don’t miss talking as much as I thought I would. I have to control my impulses a bit tighter, as emotions occasionally flare sharply where they used to start with a slow burn.

Lesson #3:

Not everyone will get you have been going through changes on the inside. Be yourself anyways.

Taking the necessary time off to recover has made it more clear what I need to do less of, or leave behind, and what is most important to me.

Lesson #4:

When you say no, and people don’t like it, remember: Not my problem. Sometimes, you have to say no to good to say yes to the best.

There has been one change I noticed the most over the last few years since my first concussion. I am a bit numb-er to extremes. My temper doesn’t blow as badly as it used to, but I also don’t get as excited as I used to either. A few things that used to really bug me don’t bother me at all anymore, and a few things I used to love to do don’t have the same thrill.

Lesson #5:

Over the passing of time, the touch of His hand and life lessons, things will change. I will be okay. He’s got me through it all!

I don’t like to lose, I don’t think any of us do. Most of all, I don’t like feeling like my life is out of control. Quick breath. This situation has revealed to me the truth to me in a most abrupt and earth jarring way…

Lesson #6:

I never was in control.
He always has been, and always will be in control.
Thinking I was was a lie,
knowing I am not is freeing truth.

What lessons have you been learning through the sorrows that have come your way?

The final lesson I will share with you all today?

Lesson #7:

It’s okay to cry.
My tears when I am upset by things in my life are healthy release for me, and matter to God.
So much so that He collects them in a bottle with my name on it!

love the one you’re with- 3 ways to show it this Valentine’s Day

February 13, 2015February 13, 2015 Karla Lees

Love is a choice.

You may have heard that before, but this Valentine’s, may it sink in deep.

We show this love by how we care for those around us.

By choosing to love them, our love can be seen like an outer garment.

We choose to love.

How we express that love should be up to three key factors:

1. Listen:
Keep an ear out for how the person says they want to be loved, which is usually their primary Love Language.

My hubby is Physical Touch, so a long hug, hand hold or kiss he interprets as how much I love him. If we spend too long apart, those small touches remind him he is loved.

My daughter is Show Me. A spontaneous gift, a thoughtful card, going out of our way to drop her off or pick her up from school…those speak volumes too her of how much she is loved.

My son is Quality Time. Spending one on one, whether chatting, reading together, gaming or watching a comedy or action dvd reassures his heart that he is loved.

Mine is Words, or Tell Me you love me. I text, call or email loved ones regularly as a way of reminding them how much they mean to me. Hearing I was on someone’s heart or mind & they tell me about it makes my day!

(PS. Not sure what your love language is? Take the free test at:
Discover Your Love Language , it is so worth doing…for all your relationships.

2. Look:
How we see them show love usually reveals how someone wants to be loved.

It is likely no surprise that a writer & singer would love to hear loving, kind & encouraging words. Take the time to observe your loved ones as they express care & love to those around them. They will give you the best clue you need by how they show their love.

3. Get Equipped:
Learn how God says we are to love up on one another:

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

This is a huge list to try & do on our own. Trying to love in our own strength leaves us exhausted and empty.

Feeling stressed about how to love like the list in 1 Corinthians 13?

The good news is God helps us to love others when we come to Him to be loved…

The overflow of His love through us is more than enough to express our love to others.

This Valentine’s, let your loved ones know how much you choose to love and treasure them.

Your loved ones doesn’t need our freaking out about what you should get them by the world’s standards.

Bigger doesn’t mean better if your wife hates the roses you get her every year, coz you think that’s how you need to show her extravagant love & that she is special on Valentines… if she really loved daisies (true story!)

If you can only afford:
a small well chosen token…
genuine affection & love poured into a card…
a shared moment over coffee…
a dance to your wedding song…
a poem about love you printed off the internet and put in a dollar store frame…
then be yourself and express your love however you can. The best Valentine’s I ever got were hand written cards from my loved ones, as they showed how much they loved me by loving me back as I love to be loved!

Its not about the monetary price, but the choice you make to invest your love into another’s heart.

Love is priceless, and will live on beyond beauty, objects and time.

Choose to love from the best Source of love there is, its Inventor & #1 Lover of us all!

Love is always worth the investment when you choose to love the ones He loves, revealing His heart as you do.

His love never fails,
never gives up,
never runs out on us.

That’s the love I want my loved ones to know I have as my source of love, and that i will model for them.

Love wants the best.

Loving your beloveds as they long to be loved is the best gift you can give, every day!

The two keys to keep from settling

October 14, 2014October 14, 2014 Karla Lees

In relationships, we can end up with a mixed bag of emotions, expectations & never ending energy draining roller coaster rides when we don’t follow through with two vital things.

The two keys we all need to have or do in our relationships?

1. Be yourself.
Don’t lose yourself, in any relationship.
Be able to answer:
What do you like? Dislike?
Believe? Treasure?
What are your boundaries?
Where are your weaknesses? Strengths?
What are you passionate about?

If you don’t know the answer to these questions, how can you be expected to relate to those around you on level ground? A strong personality will run roughshod over you, a weak one will drive you crazy from their indecision.

Not only know yourself, carry yourself like you ‘own it.’
You know, kind of like those who stick out in the crowd…with the wild hair, piercings, all black garb or walking like they own the place… they aren’t afraid to express what they like, and reveal a piece of who they are.

PS. Did you know God wants you to be yourself with Him too? Coz He already knows what your best and worst qualities are, where you are gifted, what drives you crazy, what you need to spend more time working on. He’s proud of you, and adores you just the way you are right now.

2. Stop settling.
Sometimes our emotions carry us further along than we were meant to go. When physical attraction pheromones kicks in, we can struggle to maintain a conversation. Make sure you aren’t giving in to less than your standard, which is hopefully God’s best for you.

If the one you are dating is always very late, they aren’t respecting your time. If the one you are with constantly puts you down, don’t put up with it. If they try their moves before they commitment, you can be sure their actions are speaking louder than their words.

Does this mean we can’t forgive a bad day or two?
Not at all.

But if your relationship, as mentioned in the Relevant Magazine Article below, is characterized only by the negative, God may be trying to get your attention to take a step back, get help if necessary, and possibly move on.

No relationship should have an imbalance of power, abuse or harm in it.

You are worth too much to God for Him to want you to settle.

This sometimes means you might end up alone, or have to wait, take things slower to make sure you know the one you are in relationship with if you are dating, or break up.

There are seasons for friendships as well as weather. When all there is are storms or tornados, or you’ve been burned over & over despite second, fourth or eighteenth chances, you may need to move on.

The burn is never worth the rush that caused it.

Be yourself.
Know who you are, what you have to offer, what kind of person you want as a good friend or partner.
Pray hard.
Stick to your standards.
Don’t settle for less than God wants for you.
After all He gave His best, Jesus, for us.
He is more than enough for you in the wait.

Pssssst. Here is the article that started my train of thought:
5-people-you-should-never-settle-for

in Your eyes

October 1, 2014October 1, 2014 Karla Lees

My best is just that.
Mine.
My best effort, filled with all the passion, skill and gifts I have to back it.

I have a hard time letting myself down, let alone people.

And God.

But I know myself. I have the tendency to see if I am pleasing those around me, family, friends & coworkers with my offerings.

While it is important to get feed back when I miss the boat, I am not to base my best upon their view point.

I am to do my best as an offering to the God I serve, in appreciation for who He is, all He has done & continues to do for me, and because it honors how He made me.

God put His best into our creation.
He doesn’t make second rate, its not in His character.

If I am made by Him, as the Word reminds me, I was well made. One of a kind, uniquely me, handcrafted with care.

His best.

And when, like all of us, I strayed and needed a shepherd to bring me back to safe luscious pastures to feed & grow, He gave His best to us in Jesus to make that happen.

Only the best will do when it comes to defeating evil.

God wins, every time.

I had a very long unexpected few work days. Technical glitches hit right after my weekend away, and I have been catching up ever since.

This time, however, I am not stressing about it.

I am doing my best.

I love all the hats I wear, but they are just that, temporary wares.

Who I am matters more than what I do.

My best is listening for what God has to say to me, who He says I am, what He has to teach me, the guidance and love I have longed for in the secret place from even before words.

When He gets my best, the rest becomes the best I am capable of.

Keeping my eyes fixed on the Best that has ever happened to me?

I see my reflection in His eyes.

I find rest, so I can offer my best.

And I am complete.

🙂

In Your Eyes: Peter Gabriel
(awesomely sung by either Peter Gabriel, or Nichole Nordeman)

love I get so lost, sometimes
days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
when I want to run away
I drive off in my car
but whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are

all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

in your eyes the light the heat
in your eyes I am complete
in your eyes I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
the heat I see in your eyes

love, I don’t like to see so much pain
so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

and all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade,
so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

rest for the best yet to come

June 3, 2014 Karla Lees

Rest sometimes means saying no to good things so you can say yes to the best.

There are better things ahead.

If you are too busy running around like a chicken with its head cut off (mindless circles of flapping) you will miss the view you would have seen by standing still.

It has taken some hard, painful looks at myself to realize this lesson.

I tend to do. Jump in and help wherever I can.

At times, that is absolutely the right thing to do.

And at others, it is a distraction from what I was meant to do.

I worked for years as a child care provider & barista, volunteering at church, my kids’ schools & in the community.

I am not the same person now that I was then, so keeping the same mindset about my activity levels doesn’t make sense.

I learned many skills that I still use most days and now am still learning many skills I didn’t learn when I was my younger self.

Seasons ebb and flow like the tide.
Sometimes dry, full, dangerous or safe.

In every season, we are to use our given reason to rest. With no exceptions.

God made us with that need.

What God has made, He called good.

When He was done, He rested.

Rest is the secret to our energy.

Resting physically as our body demands…I am a 7.5 hour sleeper for optimum mental capacity 🙂

Rest emotionally by dealing with our hurts, pain & stresses…I find a good walk, prayer time where I pour out my heart, and sometimes get others to pray for me helps me keep a level keel.

Resting spiritually is the most important aspect. Trusting that as we spend time with Him, God will reveal the best He has for us to seek out & hold onto. Knowing He has our back every step of the way, we are safe in His care, and never alone as we step into the purpose we were made for.

We can rest in the knowledge that He designed us to need rest, to slow down and shift our focus onto Him, no matter the storm swirling about us.

Rest IN Him, no matter the mess.
There is no situation He cannot move in. He is mighty. He is able. He is love. He is yours.

REST in Him, beyond your stress.
Stress doesn’t change us for the negative when we respond to it positively, with His help.

Rest in HIM. As we look to Him for our rest, we become fascinated & drawn to His Presence more deeply. His rest begins to soak into us, to permeate us, to leave us marked with His fragrance. He reminds us that we are a moment, He is forever.

Our soul finds rest in Him alone.

Take a look around yourself this week. Are you randomly jumping into the chaos without thinking, or asking our guide to help you rest & see what is really going on?

REST is encompassed in STRESS, the real antidote to life’s busyness.
Stop short & rest.
Make the time to rest physically.
Pray, journal, sing, play guitar, walk or run- do whatever makes you happiest to help you calm yourself, then plug back into God/rest after the day’s swirl of events.

But rest.

Perspective will begin to reveal the best God has for you, as you take the step towards Him, let Him calm you with His love, saturate you with His presence, give you His vision for what is to come next.

Better becomes best.

The deciding factor between the two?

How much you invest in your need for rest.