greatly blessed, highly flavored, deeply loved

Last night was one of those nights.

When you are so tired you can hardly keep your eyes awake, and just as you are comfy in bed trying to fall asleep….

  • hubby starts puking (from something he ate)
  • daughter gets a massive nose bleed
  • hedgehog starts running like a maniac on its wheel
  • cat starts snoring
  • the weight of the money getting tighter with a third car repair in ten days looming ahead

And you think, right there on the edge of losing it, “How will i ever get to sleep?!” before you hear His whisper, “I’ve got you.”

I left go, give it all to Him, and have a wonderful seven hour sleep. ūüôā

God has an amazing way of flashing His promises and blessings through my mind & into my spirit when i need it most.

For in Him, as His Beloved, I am:

  1. Greatly blessed.  I am moving in with the King of all that is, ever has been & ever will be into eternity. I have an eternal inheritance as His daughter, His Beloved. Hullo, can I get an amen, soul?!  And if that was not blessing enough, I am never left alone. He is always with me. Even through the worst this world & circumstances can hurl my way.  I can rest in His loving care.
  2. Highly flavored.  I have been hardwired uniquely by the Master Craftsman just so, and my uniqueness when offered to Him & for His Kingdom blessed Him.  He gives good gifts to all His creation. Each sunrise, sunset, baby cry, flower blooming, rain fall Рis a gift for us to enjoy.
  3. Highly favored.  Each talent & skill He bestows on us is a visible sign of His favor, as is our ability to walk right up to Him in His throne room & climb up on His lap, to ask anything we want of Him.   As His Beloved, we have especial favor in the eyes of our Love.
  4. Deeply Loved. His Love is astounding. That You choose to shower Your love upon me, breathtaking wonder! Going to the cross to show me just how much You love me- as far as the east is from the west, with no end? Overwhelming joy!

If you too are in the midst of hard times, take the time to draw close to Him again right in that moment when you feel like you can’t take much more. ¬†Allow Him to shoulder your burden, fill You with His peace & love, and comfort you as He walks with you. ¬†He truly shines all the brighter against the dark backdrop in your difficult moments. ¬†Don’t forget to ask Him to remind you who you are to Him. ¬†He loves to love up on His Beloved ūüôā

 

 

i am greatly blessed

small nests

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I have discovered small quarters can work as an amplifier for those living within them.

I prefer a cozy sized home.  For our family of four (plus pets), our home has been perfect for us. A home that wraps about us,and embraces us.

We don’t have too much privacy from one another in our about 1300 square foot house, but for me, that has helped make it a home.

Home to me is not a pristine show place, but a place where grace & love are experienced daily. Where disagreements & squabbles can’t be swept under the rug of excess space, and His Presence can be found.  Where we aim for peace before bed, forgiveness to flow 24/7 & new mercy every morning.

I am not naturally comfortable in big spaces or places, but have learned that as long as I know I am going home to where I truly belong, I can make due.

The same can be said about our relationship with God.

I want God to make Himself comfortable in every room of His home within me.  I want Him to be in charge of making it a home He wants to hang out in.  I don’t want so much space across the rooms that I can’t see Him at work in it. 

I want His love to have free reign within, but find I need to be reined in so He can expand & fill me more fully.

I want to be small enough I can acknowledge His need, and overflow beyond my needs into the waiting hands longing for His touch about me.

I want His love within to be seen more than the size of my house, or heart. 

My experience?

Love grows best in small nests.

I often refer to my home as my Nest. When I feel His Presence most at home, I like to refer to it as “nestformysoul.”  If I don’t need to be away from home, you can usually find me in my Nest, resting on my spot on our sofa, reading, singing or writing when I am alone, spending time with my family & friends.

when mothering hurts

I have not always had the relationship I enjoy now with my mom. ¬†We have both had to work hard at forgiving one another & leaving the past behind to¬†enjoy our current relationship. She is ¬†a treasure i continue to enjoy getting to know better. ūüôā

Nor has being a mother always been smooth sailing.  But my kids are the two biggest blessings God has bestowed upon me, and i am way more delighted with them than I am frustrated by the day to day messes they can leave around.

I can get how Mother’s Day stirs up lots of emotions within us:

For many,  joy over their relationship with their mothers, which has been filled with enough blessings to outweigh the growing pains & hard times.

 Joy at becoming a mom.

Others, grief over the early or sudden loss of their mothers, your soft place to land when things got rough or your sounding board when things were tough.

Grief over the unwise choices your children have made, as they have broken your heart by leaving or running away from home right into dangerous, unwise or unknown situations.

Or grief because you are not yet a mom. You have been struggling to have a child of your own.
You may have been blocked from formally adopting the child you adore.  
Your heart aches for what you desire.

Some experience loss because they were abandoned or rejected by their mothers, and intensely feel the lack of that relationship within.

The other side of loss is anger, over abusive or neglectful mothering.

And for those who desperately want to be mothered, no matter why, an intense longing for that hole within to be filled with a mom.  
Or the deep longing for your child to come home.
Or you long for the child you lost, the one who came before their time, or left before living a full life.

All these emotions can swirl around this holiday, making it one of the most emotionally intense holidays of the year.

I have experienced most of the above at one time or another.
I get it.

But more importantly, so does God.

He sees all the ways earthly mothering has broken, battered or abandoned those of you hurt by your mothers.

He knows the grief and devastation of your losses and your longings.

He wants to touch that painful emotion within.

I believe the father waiting for his son in the parable of the Prodigal Son also represents the full heart of God.  That kind of love also includes the heart of mothers.

If God designed man and woman to both be in His image, than both fathers and mothers reflect His heart.

He too longs for your child to come home.

He grieves with you when your mother is suddenly taken from you.

He sees the cries you try to hide at night as you wail in your pillow for the child you lost, or the children you’ve been told will not be coming.

He tears up when you stand at your mother’s grave, and a wave of grief shakes you to your core.

He is there with you.

Just as a mother might be….with her arm around you, even though you may be too dazed to know she is beside you. ¬†Waiting for you to call, and share about your day.

I believe God gives those of us who are His ‘spiritual’ mothers, because He knows that so many of us are rocked by our childhoods, and need a wise discerning mother to step in and mother us where we need it.

I have been very blessed by one such mother, who has since moved on to worship & adore Her Lord face to face.  God caused her to step in at a time when I needed such a mom, with her loving wisdom and redirecting me to Him. I am now pleased to say I have such a relationship with my earthly mother, because He has helped us restore it.

Mother’s Day to me is an earthly celebration, if you don’t know God. Its only¬†one day a year to thank your mom for what she does for you.

Mother’s Day in God’s eyes? An opportunity for every mother, whether by birth, adoption or spiritually, to appreciate the gift of the children He has placed in your care. ¬†The ability to show God’s heart for His kids, every day.

If you are so blessed with a mom you adore, honor her. ¬†Take her out for a meal, if not on Mother’s Day than on your birthday, the day God made her your mom.

Take flowers to her grave, play her favorite movie, sing her favorite song, wear her color.

However she needs to know you appreciate the blessing she is to you when she is alive, and for you to honor her memory in your heart.

And after Mother’s Day is over?

Then honor your mother every day by thanking God for her.

If you struggle with your relationship with your mom, please visit Bonnie Gray‘s excellent blog post on how to find healing from your hurt:

http://www.faithbarista.com/2015/05/toxic-mom-7-ways-to-find-healing/

If you struggle with being the best mother you can to your children, or are waiting to become a mom, ask God to help you become that mother you desire to be.   He will give you the patience you need to stay calm in the terrible twos, the strength to endure the sleepless nights of teething, illness and out past curfew, the wisdom to raise that headstrong child, and the ability to look back and laugh at some of your fumbles.

The best thing you can do as a mother? Know God. And point your kids to Him.

May your children arise to call you blessed. Proverbs 31:28a

proverbs31-30

 

 

holding back?

You never lose by loving.
You only lose by holding back.

@WomanDoItAll tweet

part of me
is curled tight
clenched within
the very core of who I am

it started as a seed
but instead of planting
it to let it grow,
unfurl in Your presence
I buried it inside
away from Your light…
letting it starve
from lack of connection,
lonely from
a lack of love

I hold myself back
so well
all the enemy has to do
is point to the road ahead
and my imagination
runs amok
pondering all the possibilities
fear, worry and loneliness
can conjure when
the faith within
has been held back
out of reach from
Your loving,
healing touch

as I learn
to trust You even more
i led down the
guard I built within
the wall to keep
what I feared out
but in reality
locks part of me
within
away from the very hope
it needed to deepen
and mature

in one whoosh
freedom is released
like a rushing wind
blowing out the
shards of pretense
and enabling
Holy Spirit to move on in
and remodel the place
He loves to live in

‘No more holding back’
He gently whispers
to my soul
‘I want you free
the way We designed you to be.
Flying high,
trusting deeply,
letting us lead,
increasing our Glory
as you walk out
Our story
through you’

My eyelids
begin to close
and down droops
my nose
as my head bobs
to almost touch my chin
as Your peace floods
into my heart,
confirming what I knew
from the start

I already know You
will win, God
help me live out the truth
that
I will never lose
by letting You love me
inside & out,
i only lose
when i hold myself back
from the fullness
You offer
in Your Presence

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