clean – KARLA LEES

When I try to control my life, I make an utter mess of it.

And I know I have been doing so when I feel surrounded, inside & out with mess.

God, however, sees my mess far differently than I do.

I want to clean up my messes until I am spotless, and no sign of the mess remains behind to give a viewer any inkling there had been any mess at all.

I sweep my messes under my internal carpet & put on my public face before I go out…but the mess remains within.

God says He has washed me pure as snow, and He doesn’t see the big pile of mess that I do.

He sees building materials for the message He wants to make out of my mess.

I am made 100% clean through Jesus, but the scars that remain behind? They speak to Him of where He is taking me; they speak to me of all the struggles, guilt & shame i see in those same scars.

I see remnants of mess, He sees beauty in the making.

In the last few years, I have been learning its okay to let people see the mess within. Not everybody, but as God has led me to share to a chosen few, my stress has ebbed from trying to hide my mess.

Because we all want to be known and accepted for who we are, right now, in the middle of the newness He is making from the mess on hand.

For we can’t always see what those around us do, how far we have come as we have followed Him.

Our emotions can fog up our vision if we let them have them loudest voice.

I don’t want my stress or mess to be the loudest voice I speak, I want His message to be the words i cling to, and the words i share as He leads.

When you move beyond standing in the midst of your mess, you may catch a glimpse of the message He is knitting together from the broken strands left behind.

Master Creator, His tapestries reveal the glory of their Maker.

You, and i? We are examples of His abundant grace, with which He covers our mess.

Say yes to His dress for you.
Let Him weave the mess into a stunning array of grace, to be worn every day.

Our mess will become something so much greater in His loving hands!

I am a put it back in its spot kinda gal.
Not too OCD about it, but I like to be able to easily find my stuff. My son is a lot like me in this way.

Not so my hubby or daughter. They have the ‘where it lands, there it will stay’ approach when they gets stressed or are working too hard, which is most of the time it seems.

This causes pile ups where open space should be.

I have five must have open/keep it tidy areas in my small cozy home:
My coffee table
My front hall
My kitchen counters & table
My main bathroom counter
The bottom of the stairs

I don’t care about toilet paper or toothpaste unless you leave me without any. Another story for another day!

Nor the computer desk (about a 1-2 min straighten job) which we all share in our living room.

But when movies get randomly placed about the house, stuff is piled right by the front door so its the first thing you see when you come in my home, and there is more stuff in the way so I can’t get into my basement, well I get ticked.

Annoyed.

I make sure that I have certain foods in the house for my family members, I make sure I pay the bills, arrange transportation when needed, do the bulk of the laundry, the grocery shopping and meal planning. The taxes. Vacation planning.

Not whining, coz I love my family, and want to serve. Just saying.

All of the above, like many other moms, on top of working outside the home.

And I am tired of feeling it is ALL on my plate, ALL of the time.

So today, after a cool down period offsite, I came home and spoke up.

My son is taking on a few more weekly chores, which he can choose to do whenever, as long as they get done.

My daughter has a major project she needs to get done on time or a new needed item she wants will not be purchased next weekend.

My hubby has agreed to do a few of the smaller weekly jobs I cannot do easily due to allergies/physical challenges.

The laundry and cooking schedule is going up later tonight. You are on unless you arrange a trade!

After a frustrating inconvenient hour trying to locate MY hairbrush, the final straw for me today, I realized that part of the problem was me.

You see, NOT speaking up and trying to do it all yourself is not only crazy for its superhero mentality, it is overwhelmingly not realistic.

It is okay to say you can’t, or you need help.

Its okay to say no, you are not meeting my needs (not wants in this case).

In fact, its healthier than keeping it in and brooding over situations like this, which can lead to a sudden storm of anger over a smaller irritation yet to come….potentially damaging relationships in the burst of emotions.

So I have accepted that it is okay that I like things mostly in their place. That I want to be tidy, not an obsessive neat freak- but comfortable to have any friend (mine, hubby’s or the kids’) stop by and visit last minute without being embarrassed by the state of my home.

I want to feel welcome in my home.
Free to be me, but also teach and demonstrate to the rest of my family the art of consideration for those we live with- whether family, friends, roommates or pets.

The crisis is over.
I found my hairbrush.
The stairs have been cleared of the items that tried to trip me last night.
I also discovered a few new boundaries going into place in the process.

Family is a team, not full of solo participants. All working together for the good of the whole.

Its about we, not just me’s.

Tag: clean

proof is in the…grace?