when it’s hard to believe for the best

Yesterday was a day filled with highs and lows, from which I am still both in shock and filled with praise as i process it all.

It is hard seeing your child reeling with hurt. One of mine is struggling to show honor in a placement where she has been discouraged and put down by the leadership for the past several weeks, simply because they are negative people.

The other child heard he may need surgery to fix a disc and nerve problem.

It has been hard to come alongside them and not take over, as the momma within rages at the circumstances.

Instead, I have stood and praised Him despite how I am feeling.

My children are not my babies anymore. They are both young adults who have had curve balls hurled their way, and are still standing up to praise Him in the midst.

If I have done nothing else right in the hard times of my life, seeing my kids raise Him in praise no matter the season blesses my heart for my part modeling how to do so.

But more importantly, it blesses His heart for their part in bringing Him the sacrifice of praise.

Last night, my country took a radical turn politically.  One that i sense will leave scars across every province. People who had served their constituents well were voted out because the nation decided to teach its former leader a lesson.

Experience can help guide us in the hard times, but faith in who you believe in needs to be our bedrock during the storms.

There is no one politician upon whose shoulders Canada can rest for safe haven in the coming storms.

There is only One pair of arms who can wrap around us and help us to stand, safe and secure in His embrace from what may come.

That became evident in a conversation with a coworker who had been reeling from an unexpected demand to prove himself again to a new team addition in another organization he works for, when he already has done so to the team as a whole for over a year.  His commitment to his word and the Word has been an inspiration to those who know Him, and inspired me to dig deeper into all He has for me. He cried out to God, spoke in response as He led, and God is stirring up the leadership to come out swinging in his defence.  As he waits, not yet knowing how this will all play out.

Yet He knows His security is not found in the support of human leaders, although he is blessed with their favor, but the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.

In the last 48 hours I have stepped up to the plate three times as God has called me to, and used my gifting in ways I wasn’t quite ready for.  I suspect that was so He could show me just how solid and dependable He could be for me as I solely put my Hope and trust in Him to strengthen and empower me for the tasks I stepped into.

He blew me away with His grace, and the knowledge He was with me. He showed up in power, and lives were blessed through the encounters with Him as a result.

Because I emptied myself of me all the more, He had more room to move through and in me to use me as a blessing where He had placed me.   It wasn’t easy to let go of my struggle to be in control, but it was so sweet to rest in Him and allow Him to lead.

In a hard place?

Wounded from an unexpected arrow in the battle?

Weary from the race?

Fearful of what lies ahead?

Find comfort in knowing you are never alone, Beloved.

Draw strength from His embrace.

Proclaim His praise even when things look dim and grey.

Rest in Him, as He keeps you by His side, and helps you to stand.

May He fill your heart to overflowing with His love, as you fix your eyes upon Him above the waves, and take hold of the Rock of Ages. He promises He will come to us, His Beloved, the ones He died to save from sin. He will not abandon us in the battle.  He will come to our rescue, and show Himself strong as our defence.




God’s a safe-house for the battered, a sanctuary during bad times. The moment you arrive, you relax; you’re never sorry you knocked.- Psalm 9:9-10 (MSG)

Feeling battered by turbulence about you?

Seeking shelter from the swirling storm?

Head for Home.

God Himself is our Home, our safe-house in times of trouble.

He is the sanctuary for our wounded spirits, who binds us up, broken & battered, when we come to Him.  

And miraculously, we being to relax in the peace we find in His Presence, as He ministers to us from the inside out.

I have never regretted heading into the safety I have found in His embrace.

May you too experience Him as your safe-house, the never failing refuge found in the loving safety of His arms, whenever you need shelter in the storms of life. God is always waiting for us to find our way Home to Him.

(This blog post is today’s Drop of Encouragement over at Remade Ministries. You are more than welcome to join the community there!)

when it’s time to rest

I have decided not to write today.

I am still trying to process a whole boatload of changes headed my way, and I am literally all thumbs this morning.

I am taking some time to rest, recharge and reboot despite this being my busiest work day of the week.

Because the time spent with Him & caring for myself are to be my priorities when the stress levels rise.

If you, like me, are feeling like you have entered the high speed Lane, take the path unexpected, and head for the pastures of His presence.

Today I proclaim a day of rest over my spirit.

May you too sink deep into the comfort of His embrace.


Band-Aids over bullet holes

Bandaids don’t fix bullet holes, you can only cover up what has hurt you for so long. -Austin Dennis

Yesterday, I took a direct hit.

And boy it hurt.

I couldn’t address the wounding in the exact moment due to my shock, but bandaided myself in a stop gap measure as best i could and carried on.

A bandaid isn’t an effective treatment for a major wound, is it?

As soon as I got some time alone, i ripped off the bandaid, and asked God to pour His healing into the situation.

This morning, I am feeling like the bullet has been removed. But the situation isn’t rectified yet.

You see, I can forgive, but i can’t move on until the shooter has heard what they did.

For me, its not about justice, but honor.

The shooter was someone i respect, a fellow believer.  And when they get stressed out, they sharpshoot before taking a step back to take in the whole situation.

I get it, because my temper flares too.

God and i have spent years working on my giving my anger over to Him, and not responding in the moment it hits. I need to wait for the feelings to simmer so I can hear His voice telling me what to do when i have been hurt.

You’ll note, I am not talking about being offended, but wounded.

If i take offense at what someone does to me, I sharpshoot myself in the process.

If and when i am wounded, whether by a friend or enemy, I am called to forgive.

I am also called to speak up.

Because of my gifting, word wounds are especially hurtful. Some might receive them as a slap, I receive them as a gun shot.

I spent way too much of my life keeping my wounding in from the built up shock after shock, internalizing my pain in the most self destructive ways.

No more. As a daughter of the King, I deserve to treat myself better.

First I run to my Abba, and let His balm, tears & love enfold me in His embrace.

Then I allow Him to treat the wound: to cauterize, stitch, bind together the rawness left from the injury i have received.

I then ask Him to give me His perspective on the situation.  To see what He wants me to do, to speak what He wants me to speak, to forgive as He asks me to.

Finally, only after the previous steps, do i approach the one who wounded me.

Silent no more.

Grounded in who I am, and secure in His embrace, I can speak up with confidence, knowing my Abba is with me, and my voice has value to Him.

If you too are wounded today, draw near to your Abba.

Put on some worship music, get comfy before Him, grab that box of Kleenex, pad of paper & pen, and let it all out.

He will meet you in that pain, and begin the healing you & He are both longing for.

Don’t keep using a bandaid to cover up your hurt.

Allow the Healer to touch you, and make you whole again.


hedgeaway Home

Yesterday, I startled a sweet little bird as I took my Nordic poles out for a spin.  Like the giant to Jack, I must have appeared a formidable threat.

Before those of you who have met me laugh too hard at that thought, I don’t mention it because of what I did, but rather what the bird did that split second after encountering me.

Along the boundary lines of this property is a hedge.

That wee bird headed for its entrance point in that hedge so quickly, I almost missed it.

An entrance way now made visible from all the traffic made by this tiny bird.

When trouble comes and appears like a giant above us, we too have a hedge we can run to for safety & protection.


He is our Stronghold, our restful hiding place. In His Presence giants shrink to their proper size when aligned with His grandeur & majesty.

The truth is? Like that bird, we can be easily startled by anything  coming our way.

We don’t have to remain that way.

Today, join me in hiding away in His embrace.  Jesus made the pathway known back to our true Home.

It’s up to us to choose where we want to live.

Because our bodies are just the outer shell for the eternal spirit within.

We can choose where our spirit will live.  In the shadow of giants or in the shadow of His Presence.

I can assure you, no giant will appear to be larger than God when you begin to measure it against the God of the universe.

Cancer, debt, mental illness, abandonment, infidelity, loss?

God is bigger.
All in.
Cheering you on.
Loving up on you.
Your safe place for all the emotions swirling within.

You can stay living in the land of giants, fearfully always looking over your shoulder….or staying close to Him throughout your day. Knowing with a plea or thought, He will remind you He is with you in less than a split second.

We can fly in His Presence.

We need to remember when the giant’s shadows begin to appear…..

Our hiding place is His embrace, always and forever.

Like that bird, may we fly into His stronghold at the first sign of trouble, and live secure knowing He is all we need for all we face.


when the wait seems too long…the embrace

Come, Thou long expected Jesus
Born to set Thy people free
From our fears and sins release us
Let us find our rest in Thee.

The people of Israel had been waiting…while in captivity in Babylon, through their rebuilding of their homeland, during the Roman occupation.

Messiah?! When are You coming to deliver us?

And they waited, and they waited; some still wait today.

God didn’t just want to deliver His people again from their physical fears and oppression.

He wanted to save them, from the inside out. To set them free within.

His plan was and is Jesus. Immanuel, God with us.

When the waiting is long, we tend to get fixed on how we think things should be when we get our answer to our prayer, don’t we? We begin to picture it in our minds, and expect it in our hearts.

But God doesn’t like being boxed in by human expectations.

For He is bigger than that, uncontainable in His Godness.

Yet, in the long awaited unfurling of His plan, He contained Himself within Mary, in a act that set off a chain reaction for the rest of time into eternity.

He demonstrated God could live within man…by the power of the Holy Spirit.

God acted so we could know God can be with us. Not just with, but within us. Always.

Apart from God Himself, i believe no one understood this miracle more than Mary.

God extended an invitation to Mary, allowing Jesus to move in.

That same invitation is available for us all.

The wait may have been long, but what a present awaits us, freshly opened Christmas eve.

God’s presence was the present the world had been waiting for.

His embrace is the grace of the gift of God with us, not the familiar of God set apart the world had become accustomed to.

Mary carried Jesus for 9 months, waiting and longing for the day she would meet her Messiah dace to face. I am sure Mary was also inwardly terrified at the wonder of it all. The God she worshipped living with her, to be born to live in the community He came to bring into His embrace.

The embrace is the point of the wait.

When we haven’t seen a loved one for a long time, there is something about that embrace we share when we are reunited.

That is the exact embrace God delivered & offered us all on Christmas Eve:

Come, I am waiting for you.
I am with you.
I love you.
Welcome Home.



wild with grace

Grace is a powerful, dangerous, freeing force.

Pastor Tullian Tchividjian

[Aslan?] He’ll be coming and going” he had said. “One day you’ll see him and another you won’t. He doesn’t like being tied down –and of course he has other countries to attend to. It’s quite all right. He’ll often drop in. Only you mustn’t press him. He’s wild, you know. Not like a tame lion.

The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe by C.S. Lewis.

God doesn’t fit into our perceptions of who He is.

Shockingly so, to some of us….myself included at times.

One of my favorite characteristics of God is how He can come and go at will, being in many places at the same time. Ever present in the spiritual sense, yet physically shows up in response to a cry or a prayer.

I like to think of God as being a bit wild. Not wild like an embarrassing life of the party wild…but the refused to be boxed in freedom to move as He pleases kind of wild.

In the wild, where you are in the moment is it. You don’t find animals slumping around coz last year wasn’t a good year, they are focused on the day, the moment at hand. For them its a matter of survival, for God its a matter of character. He always has been, and as such is beyond our linear way of thinking & living.

Every single aspect of creation on earth was perfectly made for the humanity it sustains. The spin of its axis, the closeness to the sun, the amount of minerals in the earth, the air in the atmosphere, the water system… all of earth in its wildness reflects its wildly amazing Creator.

When He loves, He is also all in, invested and intimately involved.
Wild with love, God planned the whole of history to reveal His love through every generation…. through the prophets, the deliverers, the judges, the rabbis, the teachers, the apostles, the evangelists, the preachers… but especially through Jesus & the Word.

The Written Word, and the Word made Flesh. Both living and breathing God.

God whose grace was so wild, He died for all people, regardless of whether they ever say thank you for that extravagant gift.

A bit wild a concept, isn’t it?

As I take a step back, I am overcome with the wildness I can glimpse in God. How being free to be yourself can lead you to wildly abandon yourself in the pursuit your passions.

In God’s case, we are the passion He pursues. The ones He wants to set free with a wild freedom we don’t deserve, but deep down all long for. Why?

He is wild about you.

Do you know that, really deep down? He is wildly crazy adoringly waiting to show you that love.

I caught a glimpse of that wild passion for me during worship recently, and it has released a passionate response from deep within me. I have been charged from encountering God’s wild love for me.

I want to be wild for You too, God.
Head over heels in love.

I want to share that passion with those who need to meet You, to be wildly loved.

Release Your children to run in wild abandon for Your embrace, God, in response to the wild love and grace You splash all over us!


One of the downsides to working part time is missing out on the same camaraderie those who work full time share.

The same can be said about our walk with God.

God isn’t interested in part time relationship.

He is ours full time, 24/7, 365.

And beyond.

We think of time in forward increments, God sees all time at any time.

He is, after all, eternal.

When I keep too busy with life, I tend to waver on knowing where I belong.

God is always there to remind me I belong to Him.

He belongs to me.

Nor because of anything I have done, will or can do…
but because I am the only me He made.

That alone makes me, and you, precious to our Creator.

But He didn’t end there.

When we kept wandering, as the distracted tend to do, away from Him, and failed to focus on the words He kept speaking to us through His Word & prophets…
He sent the Word.

To live among us.
To walk beside us.
To listen to our hurts.
To heal our brokenness.
To love away our loneliness.
To touch us- heart, mind, soul & body.
To set us free through the death we deserved.

To know, without doubt, we belong.

We are His.

He bought us at great price, and will never stop calling out to us to come: be known by Him, and know Him.

When we spend a great deal of time with others, we develop a sense of belonging: that we fit, we are good together, which only makes us want to spend even more time together.

We become tightknit, close than we sometimes could ever dream possible.

We know that we know we belong.

If you struggle with knowing where you belong, look no further than His Word, His heart poured out in a love letter like no other.

God reminds us each and every day that we have a place where we belong.

With Him.

God reminds us each moment that we are treasures.

To Him.

God draws us close in His embrace, so we can rest.

In Him.

The belonging you long for?
It is a precious gift,
by Him.

May you draw closer to His Presence than you can imagine, as He reminds you how much you belong to Him, always.


you make me brave when feet may fail

I stand before You now
The greatness of Your renown
I have heard of the majesty and wonder of You
King of Heaven in humility, I bow

As Your love in wave after wave
Crashes over me, crashes over me
For You are for us, You are not against us Champion of Heaven
You’ve made a way For all to enter in

I have heard You call my name
I have heard the song of love that You sing
So, I will let You draw me beyond the shore Into Your grace, Your grace

As Your love
In wave after wave
Crashes over me, crashes over me
For You are for us You are not against us Champion of Heaven
You’ve made a way For all to enter in

You make me brave You make me brave You called me beyond the shore Into the waves
You make me brave You make me brave No fear can hinder now The love that made a way

You make me brave You make me brave You called me beyond the shore Into the waves
You make me brave You make me brave No fear can hinder now The promises You’ve made

As Your love In wave after wave
Crashes over me, crashes over me
For You are for us You are not against us Champion of Heaven
You’ve made a way For all to enter in
You Make Me Brave, Bethel Music

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You’ve never failed and You won’t start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
for I am Yours and You are mine
Oceans (Where Feet May Fail), Hillsong United

What keeps me brave?

Wrong question.

Who keeps me brave?

It is certainly not an inner characteristic I would refer to myself as. In fact, before becoming a follower of Christ, I was a mouthy sarcastic on the offense as my defense coz i was hurting so on the inside teen. One who thought nothing of using words as a weapon to try and avoid getting hurt.

The hurting becoming the one hurting others.

The gift being used against those it was intended to bless.

Unless I was singing, or writing for an assignment, my words were not my best work.

When God found me, I was desperately afraid, deeply wounded in my heart & soul, and headed for depression. My outer actions reflected my inner turmoil. Erratic, reactive, quickly combustible, highly regrettable.

I was so not what you would call brave.

God entered my life, and everything changed.

I had to walk out onto the deep waters, keeping my eyes fixed on Him, in order for Him to reach me to be brave.

I needed many words of love, comfort, healing and wholeness spoken over me, and many words of regret, sin, bad memories, strongholds and lies released from within, cleansed in His waters.

The only way I could face all the pain of what had been was to allow the One who was, is and is to come to make me brave.

I kept calling out to Him, and He kept reaching out for me. Keeping my head above the waters, allowing me periods of rest to ease the strain of becoming whole, until the next time He called me to step out, leave more of the old behind me, and press on through the storm towards the new He has prepared for me.

These past six months have been especially healing for me. I felt stirred to begin to write again. In a way I hadn’t felt since high school writing class.

Deep calling to deep.

God made me brave to start the first day. And has keep me brave each day since as my story, His Story through me, is being laid out, word after word, grain of sand after another.

The call to express in word.

The call to express in song is now being fanned into flames again, brighter than the call to write.
Which, quite frankly, scared me more than a little.

But i know that as I follow where He is calling, He will again make me brave enough for each day as it dawns.

For He makes the way for me.
He calms the storms with His presence.
He commands the waves.
He calls me to come.
And makes me brave enough to step out into the great unknown.
Leading me to a greater dependence on His strength, equipping and presence, in His power.

My feet may fail,
But God will catch me.
I am in His grip forever.
And that makes me brave.