facing my giant

I am downtown with a girl friend today, thoroughly enjoying myself.

There was a period of time where I couldn’t do so.

I allowed a fear to dictate where I could walk free.

Years ago, someone tried to pull me off the subway car onto an empty station. Thanks to a good Samaritan & my backpack straps, that didn’t happen.

But the seed of fear entered to make itself at home as I blocked this incident out, burying the memory.

My daughter decided to go to school in this very town I was so uncomfortable in, and I knew I needed to be free. And I knew He wanted it too.

I asked God to release me from whatever had caused the fear, and He brought that memory back….with a difference.

When you know the God of the universe is standing beside you, you can face your giant.

Mine was fear.

In giving Him that fear, He broke its claim on me, removing the Liar’s venom within me.

But He didn’t stop there.

His Spirit swept in, and filled me with a quenching peace.

And reignited my desire to see new places, many of which are nearby.

So on the bus we went, and I am a sunburnt, slightly disheveled content visitor in the city that used to cause my fear temperature to spike.

For I know He walks with me, and I need not fear. God is so much bigger & greater & stronger than we can fathom, and He chooses to hang out with you, & me!


hedgeaway Home

Yesterday, I startled a sweet little bird as I took my Nordic poles out for a spin.  Like the giant to Jack, I must have appeared a formidable threat.

Before those of you who have met me laugh too hard at that thought, I don’t mention it because of what I did, but rather what the bird did that split second after encountering me.

Along the boundary lines of this property is a hedge.

That wee bird headed for its entrance point in that hedge so quickly, I almost missed it.

An entrance way now made visible from all the traffic made by this tiny bird.

When trouble comes and appears like a giant above us, we too have a hedge we can run to for safety & protection.


He is our Stronghold, our restful hiding place. In His Presence giants shrink to their proper size when aligned with His grandeur & majesty.

The truth is? Like that bird, we can be easily startled by anything  coming our way.

We don’t have to remain that way.

Today, join me in hiding away in His embrace.  Jesus made the pathway known back to our true Home.

It’s up to us to choose where we want to live.

Because our bodies are just the outer shell for the eternal spirit within.

We can choose where our spirit will live.  In the shadow of giants or in the shadow of His Presence.

I can assure you, no giant will appear to be larger than God when you begin to measure it against the God of the universe.

Cancer, debt, mental illness, abandonment, infidelity, loss?

God is bigger.
All in.
Cheering you on.
Loving up on you.
Your safe place for all the emotions swirling within.

You can stay living in the land of giants, fearfully always looking over your shoulder….or staying close to Him throughout your day. Knowing with a plea or thought, He will remind you He is with you in less than a split second.

We can fly in His Presence.

We need to remember when the giant’s shadows begin to appear…..

Our hiding place is His embrace, always and forever.

Like that bird, may we fly into His stronghold at the first sign of trouble, and live secure knowing He is all we need for all we face.


talk to me

There are many voices we listen to, but one that can do the most damage if we give it free rein.

And it may be impacted by the enemy, but it isn’t him.

It’s my, your inner voice. 

Our self talk can block us from hearing God’s voice, keeping our minds so humming we are left desperate for peace & rest.

Yesterday was not a good day for me.

I have a tendency to ‘what if’ when it comes to being told ‘let’s meet’ without any details.

That feeling like you are being called into the principal’s office to get reamed.

Which is funny for me to feel, because that never happened to me.

Part of it is feeling off balance with not knowing what is coming but having been given just enough notice to set my mind on the hamster wheel, and part is my insecurity.

I don’t think I deserve blessings, so I auto think worst case scenario.

And that isn’t healthy for me, my mind or my relationships, especially with God.

As I said yesterday was a mental fight to regain my peace.  So when the worst case scenarios started running through my head, I simply but strategically prayed for God to give me peace in the wait, give me wisdom and to prepare me for whatever might come up. 

Coz really, if its my time to leave a job, freaking out about it doesn’t help me change the reality or cope well.

So I made sure I ate well, did some stretches to keep myself loose, and kept on working, trying to not allow my mind to wander but stay on task. I tried to actively listen for His voice, and let go of the fear of the unknown as I did.

Wisdom is found in knowing we need help, and asking for it in from the best source possible.

Prayer was the best thing I could do at that time, in that busy office.

At home, putting on praise & worship music and diving into the Word helps me calm my mind, and face my fears, knowing God is with me.

I don’t have to let the ‘what its’ have any long term air time. Keeping them as brief commercials means I don’t need to fear them, I can choose to change the channel from Woe is me or fright night to Rest in Him.

At any time,
in every situation,
call out to Him
for what you need.
Whether rescue, rest,
restoration or wisdom,
we will find purpose,
peace in His Presence.
Let the fear go,
let Him go before you.
The wise ones seek the Source of all Wisdom daily!


scaredy cat, come to the Son


I have lived more of my life than I am comfortable admitting as a scaredy cat.

Afraid of what others think,
promises  how God would treat me if He really knew all I had done,
afraid of making a misstep,
afraid of my own shadow.

Fear turns into anxiety when it isn’t kept in check.

Fear is an emotion we are to use healthily in two ways:

Fear/awe of our Creator
Temporary fear of danger

We were never meant to let fear take the driver’s seat of our emotions.

I have lived through a few scares that deepened my fear levels in the short term, others that left me numb without feeling and still others magnifying my long term anxiety.

It has taken two blows to my noggin to help me break free of the two main areas of fear I had.

With my first mild concussion, I was afraid of speaking up for myself and allowed some of my boundaries to be bypassed due to my fear of others.

God said no more, and broke me out of that false belief prison.

I now say no, or it will have to wait, without guilt or shame.  I have expressed what my needs were in a few recent situations when I normally would have hidden that fear away from the light of day.

I am set free of the fear of pleasing others at negative personal cost to myself, and am learning a new way to express myself when I need to.

I also learned there is nothing healthy about the daily fear of “what if?”

There will be situations that pop up that will cause me to fear.

My fear is not a negative long term emotion if I keep it in check by responding in faith.

I likely might be afraid in the split second before that car appears that it might hit me, its what I do with that fear that reveals my beliefs.

“Jesus, protect me” hands my fear over to Him.

Tightening my body in fear of impact and bracing myself for the worst would amplify the fear if I failed to pray, even in my thoughts.

And if I have been protected, my temporary fear emotion lead me to reach out for my Abba, not drive me away from Him.

If I don’t make it, I don’t want my last thought on earth to be a fear-full one. I want it to be a faith-full one.

I have faced a few head on collisions of the emotional sort over the past five years.

God kept my fears in check when I brought everything to Him, and left it safely in His care.

If you too are or used to be characterized as a scaredy cat, I want to reassure you of two promises He tells us time and time again in His Word, and showed us through the life & death of Jesus.

God knows.
All of it. 
All about it.

God loves you.
In spite of it,
thought it,

If you have a hard time keeping your fear factors in check, please find a professional to help you with them. Sometimes chemicals can get of whack in sudden shock situations, and hinder you from keeping fear in check.  Other times, a situation may need to be revisited in prayer so the root of the fear can be destroyed, and set you free. Some situations require both.

Don’t let fear of what people might think of you reaching out for help stop you from putting God back into first place in your life, and pursuing the freedom, health and life He has waiting for you.


take courage

Unhappy people hurt people. If you find yourself belittled, diminished, or humiliated, take courage. It’s not about you!
-Brian Houston

Be strong. Take courage. Don’t be intimidated. Don’t give them a second thought because God, your God, is striding ahead of you. He’s right there with you. He won’t let you down; he won’t leave you.
Deuteronomy 31:6 MSG

 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
Joshua 1:9 NIV

Immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Take heart; it is I. Do not be afraid.” Matthew 14:27 ESV

I was reminded in the movie Cinderella that we are to take courage, to be courageous no matter what is occurring about us.

Courage is doing it afraid, regardless of your fear or what it is you are facing.

The Bible is full of men and women that God needed to remind to be courageous:
the disciples

And many more who asked God for courage in hard situations:
Rack, Shack & Benny 🙂
even Jesus!

If the God who came down to rescue us at such great cost to Himself needed to ask His Father to help Him as He faced the cross, why do we feel we don’t need to?

Why do we let the situation be the one to dictate our response?

I recently decided I need to rebalance my work schedule, and have been phasing in to where it will hopefully land over the next few weeks, as I have three part time jobs.

God has led me to cut equally from all three, to make room for what He is calling me to, and for which I need more time with Him to prepare.

I have had a problem saying no to people over the years, but God has been equipping and empowering me to speak up when I need to say no, and not worry about what will happen if I am following His lead.

I am not responsible for other people’s expectations, behaviors or decisions (other than my children, who are almost fully grown). Each of us need to own our own choices, and take courage when others don’t like ours.

God continuously reminds me that He is with me, and He is more than enough to help me face whatever may come my way in His strength, confident in He who equips me.

I can have courage no matter what I am facing because of Him.

Feel like you too are facing the lions den when you need to say no? Take courage: The same God who shut down the lions’ appetites will keep you safe.

Feel like you are in the frying pan?
Take courage: The same God who showed up in the fiery furnace will be with you.

Feel like your needs outweigh your abilities?
Take courage: The same God who fed the 5000 men & their families from a few fish & loaves, the same God who clothes the wildflowers with magnificence will meet your needs.

God never changes.

We can have courage because we know the character of the One we follow.

This God who gave His all is a courageous love display for all earth & heaven to see? He has unlimited courage!

And He loves to answer our heart’s cry, like the loving Father and adoring Bridegroom He is!

Like our God, we were meant to be courageous.

Its time to stand up, and walk with courage into the day God has made and onto the path He has planned for us!

If you can’t be courageous any other way, than grab His hand and don’t afraid!


If you need a ‘theme’ song to help remind you God is able to give you all the courage you need, I recommend this one:

Courageous by Casting Crowns

pressed to release His fragrance

I am in a season of being pressed.

Not to be broken & destroyed, but so that I can release Him more fully within me & to those around me.

Maybe you can relate.

I had a glimpse another pressing season was headed my way with some words spoken a few weeks ago, and then I got clearer direction as I soaked & waited.

There are three books He is calling me to work through & bring what gets pressed in me to Him- either because it needs to go, or He is releasing it to flow.

The first is to press the past out of me and lead me to a deeper rest.

The second is to break out from the beliefs & ways I have hidden myself away, to lead me to deeper relationships.

The third is to press through into the full release of freedom He has for me, and to move into His stronghold, to make God my refuge in a way I have not yet experienced.

I am excited enough to want to jump up & down with excitement, and scared enough to want to toss my cookies, all rolled into one.

Can you relate?

I heard clearly today that on the other side of our deepest hurts is the greatest freedom where we are meant to roam.

I don’t want my fear & desire to stay the same to hold me back from all He has for me.


The first book is Finding Spiritual Whitespace by Bonnie Gray.

I am so weary from trying to hold all my broken pieces together for so long.

God is calling me out of hiding and into wide open spaces of grace & rest unlike any I have known before.

The second book is Scary Close by Donald Miller.

I have read half of the first section, and it is truly scary close how much this book is already resonating within me.

The third book has not yet been released, and was written recently by a new sister and fellow writer Beth Kinder, called Stronghold.
(Remade Ministries)


Freedom awaits, and the cage door is opening.

I plan on running through it, albeit with tears, headlong straight into the embracing arms of Jesus, Daddy & Spirit.

It is going to be rough trying to work full time while I am undergoing open heart & brain surgery, but He is reminding me He is more than enough for ALL my needs, and this is the time.

Are you ready to leap towards the flight of freedom &  or allow fear to keep you bound & tethered?

Join me.  Press in for what He has for you today, in this season.

A richer, deeper faith awaits, along with a new level of wholeness for your life.

He will release a new sense of His presence within us, and we will become a sweeter fragrant aroma as a result.

NOW is the time for freedom!

PS. I will be asking God each time i hang out with Him where i am meant to  work through that visit. Where to start, & where to stop.
An avid reader, I have a tendency to speed read, and He is wanting His words of freedom to soak in & take root as He uproots the weeds of my heart & mind.  Allowing Him to take the lead declares my belief I am safe in His hands, and willing to go wherever He leads.

what would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail?

What would you do if you knew that ultimately you could not fail?

How do you get strong enough to believe it?


Specifically the kind of love God offers all of us.

The love that loves us no matter what, always…

There is nothing I could do to make You love me more. Nothing I could to do
to make You love me less.

There is Grace by Lara Langdon

If you believe that…

How high would you soar?

How far would you jump?

How long would you push?

How deep would you dive?

Writing for me is based on the foundation of being His.
Offering the gift back to the Giver.

If the giver of the gift thinks you can do all things when they are with us, then why do we talk ourselves out of believing it, let alone living it?


Image from: http://wildsister.com/2012/08/feel-the-fear-take-the-leap-declare-your-greatness/

Its time to take a step in the right direction.

If God is for you,
with you,
backing you,
equipping you,
cheering you on
& loving up on you
every moment of every day…
there is no good reason
not to leap.

Unless we are the problem.

We can stay rooted in our fears and what ifs too long, which slowly rots away our trust and faith, undermining the future He has for us.

Fear roots us on the spot, and limits our growth.

Its time to push through into the confidence He has waiting for you, for me. To stand on the foundation of who we are in Him (His) who we are to Him (beloved) as we tap into His strength (empowered).

His beloved empowered.

We could change not only our lives, but those we come across of we lived this every day.

Press in.

Ask Him to show you what you need to see on the other side of your fear.

Ask Him to speak what you near to hear to receive your freedom.

Ask Him to pour His love into your heart to overflow, washing out the doubt, fears & worries.

Ask Him to be your anchor, the core of strength you need to move ahead boldly.

Walk out your gifts, your calling & your purpose, without fear weighing you down!

Find hope anew in His Presence.


keeper of my heart

In the past few days, a lot has gone amuck in my life.

Our dishwasher & dryer both died.
My son’s timetable is not right for his grade 12 year.
I feel like crap with aches and joint pain.
Money is tight, and its a shorter work week now.
I just dropped my daughter off to catch the train to school, my husband at emerge for a possible kidney issue, and am about to wake my son for his last first day at high school, all in the past hour.

Yet through it all, I have a deep abiding sense of peace.

Am I afraid? Am I fearful we won’t have enough for our needs? A smidge, but i keep reminding myself who holds my heart.


He is the keeper of my heart, that entangled throbbing mess of emotions, hopes, dreams,hurts, brokenness and fears all rolled into one.

I can rest knowing somehow, someway, He will take all of this and weave it into His plan for my good, my family’s good.

For He promises me a hope and a future, not just in heaven, but here on earth. He has a plan to make my life make sense when i will look back on it one day.

And His character never changes.


He always loves.
Shows mercy.
Showers grace.
Welcomes me home.
Covers me.

He has proved Himself trustworthy in previous storms in my life, why would He stop now?

As a worshipper, music (melody and lyrics) is very important to me. It seems I worship more when things are going awry than when they are going well. 

My need highlights His ability to meet it all the more.

So I will not despair, although I don’t know what the outcomes will be.

He has never let me go since becoming His, and will not let His grasp slip now.

When all else fades away, that He is all I need becomes more evident.

Keeper of my heart,
I lift my eyes to You,
Maker of the Heavens.
Standing in Your Presence,
You are never far,
Keeper of my Heart.
(variation on chorus of ‘Keeper of My Heart’ by Kari Jobe)

All i need is You

Left my fear by the side of the road
Hear You speak
Won’t let go
Fall to my knees as I lift my hands to pray

Got every reason to be here again
Father’s love that draws me in
And all my eyes wanna see is a glimpse of You

All I need is You
All I need is You Lord, Is You Lord

One more day and it’s not the same
Your Spirit calls my heart to sing
Drawn to the voice of my Saviour once again
Where would my soul be without Your Son
Gave His life to save the earth
Rest in the thought that You’re watching over me

All I need is You
All I need is You Lord, Is You Lord

All I Need is You, Hillsongs United

I discovered fear at the side of the road.

On my way home from the hospital after having my tonsils out, I slipped under the shoulder seat belt and out onto the gravel side of the road….

And fear has tried to be my constant companion since.

The time I misplaced my parents in Toronto at a Tall Ships event.

The time someone attempted to pull me via my backpack from the subway doors onto an empty platform.

The day my husband lost his job.

When I started bleeding while pregnant with my second child.

Fear can rise up to try and grab ahold of us whenever we value what it threatens.

And the only thing that gets rid of fear?

God’s presence.

Not only do I feel healthier and become whole in His Presence, but my fear is revealed to be a lure of the enemy to snag me from where God wants me- close to Him.

Jesus just had to come close by a few people in the bible who were under the enemy’s influence, and they cried out in fear, because
His Presence is
and THE Authority in all of heaven and over all the earth.

The demons tremble in fear when God draws near.
Even from a mere glimpse.
For they know His true power.

When we draw closer to Him, the more His light shines on the areas the enemy is trying to keep us in the dark with.

No self help book can do the same for your spirit, soul and body as when the God of the universe speaks your name, and sets you free.

All I need is You, Lord.
All I need is You, Lord…

May we all draw closer to God,
And kick fear to the side of the road
once and for all.

For I know who is watching over me.
And He is all I need, always.


meant to say

I have a confession to make.

I leave words unspoken more than I like to admit.

Important words…

I love you.

I’m sorry.


Forgive me.


Miss you.


I need You.

Moments pass when the words could have been spoken, and I didn’t speak them…

Sometimes out of fear the person I speak them to will not receive them, or somehow reject me.

Taking my mind off of reality and venturing into the world of “What its” has me speaking all the parts in my head, and not out loud where they need to be said.

Or I don’t seize the moment when it presents itself as I am distracted by something else.

We don’t always have another moment.

Life can pass us by in the blink of an eye if we are not careful.

Don’t miss the moment you are meant to live out of fear.

Bring your fear to the One who shows us who He is, and how to make the fear leave by filling up with His love.

For perfect love casts out fear.

Say the words you are meant to say when you are meant to say them.

We are all called to bless and build up those around us, not to cower away and leave things unspoken.

If we are paying close attention to the ones we love, and the One who knows all things, we shouldn’t miss His cue to speak:

What can I do?

I love you.

Great job.

Thank you.

Need a hand?

Let’s grab a cup of coffee and talk.

“So encourage one another and build each other up….” I Thessalonians 5:11

When necessary, use words.


My prayer for you, for me: we will all hear His prompting whisper to speak the words needed to build one another up and show our love with both our words & our actions.

To live each moment to its fullest, leaving nothing we were meant to say unspoken.