grief – KARLA LEES

grieving through Christmas

December 14, 2015December 15, 2015 Karla Lees

I am shockingly breaking with my theme of “Praising Hymn through Christmas Carols of the Ages” today, for I feel lead to share this with you. May what He has stirred up in my heart touch yours as His love flows through these words. xo

Christmas became a hard season for me with the unexpected loss of my hubby’s sister a few years ago, adding to losing his father & my grandparents.

I wasn’t expecting it.

I have noticed that we talk alot about the cheer, the bright and the merry, but not about how to keep our eyes fixed on the light when we feel full of woe, heavy or weary.

I get how hard the year of firsts, seconds and thirds can be. I read somewhere the first three years after a major loss are necessary to grieve through when love has been lost.

This is the first year I have beheld the wonder of His Presence at Christmas again far outweigh the loved ones I still miss.

God gets it too. He purposefully gave up His Beloved son so we could know just how much He loves us.

Nothing that happens to you, seen and unseen, goes unnoticed by God. Your lows as much as your highs catch His heart, and turn His eyes to you.

A few strong godly men I know are facing the loss of their mothers this Christmas. Likewise, a few girlfriends are grieving the loss of their spouses who left them this year. You too may be struck with sudden unexpected loss. I get it, and I hurt along side you.

May I remind you He loves you dearly?

My prayer for you is for Him to draw close to you as only He can right in the middle of your grief.

Nothing’s wasted in His Kingdom. Ever.

There is a purpose greater than you may be able to sense right now. Lean in, trust Him to hold on tight and let Him carry you through.

He’s got you covered with His love, and will never let you go.

Each and every tear you shed in your private grief? He bottles like a precious wine.

For everything, absolutely everything, that matters to you matters to Him. Always.

#grievingthroughChristmas

image by Dayspring Cards.

when mothering hurts

May 9, 2015May 9, 2015 Karla Lees

I have not always had the relationship I enjoy now with my mom. We have both had to work hard at forgiving one another & leaving the past behind to enjoy our current relationship. She is a treasure i continue to enjoy getting to know better. 🙂

Nor has being a mother always been smooth sailing. But my kids are the two biggest blessings God has bestowed upon me, and i am way more delighted with them than I am frustrated by the day to day messes they can leave around.

I can get how Mother’s Day stirs up lots of emotions within us:

For many, joy over their relationship with their mothers, which has been filled with enough blessings to outweigh the growing pains & hard times.

Joy at becoming a mom.

Others, grief over the early or sudden loss of their mothers, your soft place to land when things got rough or your sounding board when things were tough.

Grief over the unwise choices your children have made, as they have broken your heart by leaving or running away from home right into dangerous, unwise or unknown situations.

Or grief because you are not yet a mom. You have been struggling to have a child of your own.
You may have been blocked from formally adopting the child you adore.
Your heart aches for what you desire.

Some experience loss because they were abandoned or rejected by their mothers, and intensely feel the lack of that relationship within.

The other side of loss is anger, over abusive or neglectful mothering.

And for those who desperately want to be mothered, no matter why, an intense longing for that hole within to be filled with a mom.
Or the deep longing for your child to come home.
Or you long for the child you lost, the one who came before their time, or left before living a full life.

All these emotions can swirl around this holiday, making it one of the most emotionally intense holidays of the year.

I have experienced most of the above at one time or another.
I get it.

But more importantly, so does God.

He sees all the ways earthly mothering has broken, battered or abandoned those of you hurt by your mothers.

He knows the grief and devastation of your losses and your longings.

He wants to touch that painful emotion within.

I believe the father waiting for his son in the parable of the Prodigal Son also represents the full heart of God. That kind of love also includes the heart of mothers.

If God designed man and woman to both be in His image, than both fathers and mothers reflect His heart.

He too longs for your child to come home.

He grieves with you when your mother is suddenly taken from you.

He sees the cries you try to hide at night as you wail in your pillow for the child you lost, or the children you’ve been told will not be coming.

He tears up when you stand at your mother’s grave, and a wave of grief shakes you to your core.

He is there with you.

Just as a mother might be….with her arm around you, even though you may be too dazed to know she is beside you. Waiting for you to call, and share about your day.

I believe God gives those of us who are His ‘spiritual’ mothers, because He knows that so many of us are rocked by our childhoods, and need a wise discerning mother to step in and mother us where we need it.

I have been very blessed by one such mother, who has since moved on to worship & adore Her Lord face to face. God caused her to step in at a time when I needed such a mom, with her loving wisdom and redirecting me to Him. I am now pleased to say I have such a relationship with my earthly mother, because He has helped us restore it.

Mother’s Day to me is an earthly celebration, if you don’t know God. Its only one day a year to thank your mom for what she does for you.

Mother’s Day in God’s eyes? An opportunity for every mother, whether by birth, adoption or spiritually, to appreciate the gift of the children He has placed in your care. The ability to show God’s heart for His kids, every day.

If you are so blessed with a mom you adore, honor her. Take her out for a meal, if not on Mother’s Day than on your birthday, the day God made her your mom.

Take flowers to her grave, play her favorite movie, sing her favorite song, wear her color.

However she needs to know you appreciate the blessing she is to you when she is alive, and for you to honor her memory in your heart.

And after Mother’s Day is over?

Then honor your mother every day by thanking God for her.

If you struggle with your relationship with your mom, please visit Bonnie Gray‘s excellent blog post on how to find healing from your hurt:

http://www.faithbarista.com/2015/05/toxic-mom-7-ways-to-find-healing/

If you struggle with being the best mother you can to your children, or are waiting to become a mom, ask God to help you become that mother you desire to be. He will give you the patience you need to stay calm in the terrible twos, the strength to endure the sleepless nights of teething, illness and out past curfew, the wisdom to raise that headstrong child, and the ability to look back and laugh at some of your fumbles.

The best thing you can do as a mother? Know God. And point your kids to Him.

May your children arise to call you blessed. Proverbs 31:28a

when words fail

February 19, 2015February 19, 2015 Karla Lees

Hearing about how Christians are being persecuted, tortured & killed for their faith hurts.

For we are one body, one bride, one church in Jesus.

And when one part of the body hurts, the whole body feels the pain. Sure, those closest to that part may feel it more intensely, but when the part is removed, the whole body has to readjust and learn to compensate.

God calls us to life down here on earth, in the midst battle over the ground the enemy is trying to conquer as his….each of us.

You see, the enemy doesn’t really want land mass, he wants to rule the masses.

He is jealous for God’s kingdom, and will not stop trying to destroy it until Jesus comes and puts an end to him once and for all.

The enemy knows this, which is why he tries so hard to discourage, stir up dissent, distract & decoy us from Kingdom living.

He thought that if this slaughter of His lambs were made public, he could turn the flock away from the Lamb.

He was wrong.

God’s people begin to pray all the more and share Jesus all the louder when we hear & see His people being taken out.

For where the enemy leaves wounds, God brings healing.

Where hearts are broken, God binds up & makes anew.

Where anguish is the cry, God brings His peace.

These are not just platitudes, but hard earned truths I have experienced in my life.

You see, a few years ago now, my lovely sister in law decided she couldn’t take the burdens she carried any longer, and listened to the enemy’s lie that she was better off dead.

She succeeded.

And almost destroyed her husband, rocked our world & stirred up the mental strongholds the enemy has over a few of the family.

If it hadn’t been for God, there would be no family left. Honestly.

God showed up so powerfully at her funeral, and the gospel was fully shared for all to hear…for she was a believer. I know, because i witnessed her genuine acceptance of Jesus as she poured out her need for him.

Had I not been there, I couldn’t have reassured her husband and mine that she was in God’s hands.
Not the enemy’s greedy clutches. as he had hoped.

God honors our heart’s cry for Him, even if we wander lost for a season or two in the desert.

The peace that God brought into this situation was beyond capture-able in words.

He revealed His love and grace, mercy and calm beyond words.

We hardly had words to speak in our grief, but He knew.

So my prayer for all of us in the body who are dealing with traumatic loss, heart break, illness, family chaos, debt?

May you press into His Presence with everything you’ve got.
He will be there when you seek Him.
He will hold you together when you begin to fall apart.
He will never leave your side through the lows.
He will rejoice with you in the highs.
He will lavishly love you every step of the way for the rest of your life.

When words fail, the Word steps in and intercedes.

Because what breaks our hearts matters to Him.
When His children hurt, He hurts. When His children die, He cries for our loss as He gathers them Home.

Our words may fail us in the storms that come, but our Word never will. Ever.

If your heart is heavy, draw near to Him and ask Him to lighten your load. If your soul is parched, ask Him to quench it with life & hope again. If you hunger for more, He will meet your need.

And if you find yourself facing your ISIS one day, He will more than equip you to stand your ground, and lead you into heaven at His side.

And what about the enemy? He knows his days are numbered, and he knows who will win.

He knows it isn’t him.

One God rules, forever and ever!

when the world & heaven collide…Herod

December 29, 2014December 29, 2014 Karla Lees

There was once a king.
Not born a king, but appointed.
A very paranoid king, he wiped out all opposition to his throne, real or perceived: at least one wife, one son, a few other relations. He was known as the butcher in some circles. His name?

Herod.

image from the Nativity Story

Not to be confused with his son & namesake, Herod Antipas, this Herod was called ‘the Great’ historically. But I am going to call him Herod for the post today. For he too was just a man.

When our Advent story took place, Herod was in power, established on the throne of Israel by Rome.
Rome had a way of collecting taxes and constantly being on the look out for rebellion, two things Herod too took part in regularly. The Jews were heavily taxed, not only for their usual temple tax, but Herod’s expensive building fund (Masada, and several more landmarks) and Rome’s demands on top. Many in Israel were struggling to make ends meet, especially in the smaller towns with less industry.

Now Herod ruled by keeping a very close eye on the pulse of Israel. He knew the Jews (of which he had become one in order to rule, but was not born to it) were waiting for the Messiah, and like the rest of Israel, they all expected a man to announce himself, one who will free Israel by force from Rome’s grip.

It is most likely Herod was keeping an eye on any perceived Messiah contenders, and would have had a plan in place to swiftly deal with any who would appear. Remember, Herod killed his own flesh & blood, so there is not a lot of compassion going on within this ruler.

Enter the wise men into this already powder keg situation.
They arrive in Jerusalem, and announce themselves to the palace to meet King Herod.

Not to offer platitudes or humble themselves before him, but to ask assistance to locate the baby King of the Jews who is about to be or has been recently born!

I believe this set off a fury in Herod that has only been matched a few times in history, and cemented his rule as blood thirsty for all time, but not immediately set into action.

First, he asked the wise men to return and let him know where they found the child so He too could worship him, the new King of the Jews. Sneaky strategy to ask genuine seekers to help betray the one they seek.

When they were warned not to return to Herod, I believe the full impact of what they had accidentally done must have weighed heavy on the wise men’s hearts.

When they failed to return to Herod within the expected timeline, his rage exploded, and he decided to kill every male infant from birth to 2 years in a set targeted area. And swiftly set his troops out to do his bidding.

How this must have echoed the murder of the Jewish baby boys in Egypt to the Israelites. A second targeted annihilation attempting to foil God’s plans for deliverance, at great cost to His people.

We know how this story ends, but in that moment, Herod’s plan would have looked like it was a success, and the mourning wail that arose? The sound of hair raising grief at such loss.

When heavengriefearth collide, God is not surprised.
He never is when evil raises its head to strike.
He made a way….