The two keys to keep from settling

In relationships, we can end up with a mixed bag of emotions, expectations & never ending energy draining roller coaster rides when we don’t follow through with two vital things.

The two keys we all need to have or do in our relationships?

1. Be yourself.
Don’t lose yourself, in any relationship.
Be able to answer:
What do you like? Dislike?
Believe? Treasure?
What are your boundaries?
Where are your weaknesses? Strengths?
What are you passionate about?

If you don’t know the answer to these questions, how can you be expected to relate to those around you on level ground? A strong personality will run roughshod over you, a weak one will drive you crazy from their indecision.

Not only know yourself, carry yourself like you ‘own it.’
You know, kind of like those who stick out in the crowd…with the wild hair, piercings, all black garb or walking like they own the place… they aren’t afraid to express what they like, and reveal a piece of who they are.

PS. Did you know God wants you to be yourself with Him too? Coz He already knows what your best and worst qualities are, where you are gifted, what drives you crazy, what you need to spend more time working on. He’s proud of you, and adores you just the way you are right now.

2. Stop settling.
Sometimes our emotions carry us further along than we were meant to go. When physical attraction pheromones kicks in, we can struggle to maintain a conversation. Make sure you aren’t giving in to less than your standard, which is hopefully God’s best for you. 

If the one you are dating is always very late, they aren’t respecting your time. If the one you are with constantly puts you down, don’t put up with it. If they try their moves before they commitment, you can be sure their actions are speaking louder than their words.

Does this mean we can’t forgive a bad day or two?
Not at all.

But if your relationship, as mentioned in the Relevant Magazine Article below, is characterized only by the negative, God may be trying to get your attention to take a step back, get help if necessary, and possibly move on.

No relationship should have an imbalance of power, abuse or harm in it.

You are worth too much to God for Him to want you to settle.

This sometimes means you might end up alone, or have to wait, take things slower to make sure you know the one you are in relationship with if you are dating, or break up.

There are seasons for friendships as well as weather. When all there is are storms or tornados, or you’ve been burned over & over despite second, fourth or eighteenth chances, you may need to move on.

The burn is never worth the rush that caused it.

Be yourself.
Know who you are, what you have to offer, what kind of person you want as a good friend or partner.
Pray hard.
Stick to your standards.
Don’t settle for less than God wants for you.
After all He gave His best, Jesus, for us.
He is more than enough for you in the wait.

Pssssst. Here is the article that started my train of thought:

consequence free

There is a catchy song by Great Big Sea with these lines in the chorus: “I wanna be consequence free, I wanna be where nothing needs to matter.”

The truth is: Life Matters.

And there are consequences for our actions, good and bad.


When you are headed for a fall, wouldn’t you like to hear to turn away or stop moving in that direction?

You can, in case you didn’t know.

God has given us His Spirit to guide and direct us. He is for us, which means He wants better for us than we do, and He loves us immeasurably more than we will ever love ourselves.

We need to be listening.

I don’t know about your but there are tines I am so caught up in what I am doing that it would take a bulldozer coming at me full throttle to grab my attention.

Or so I thought.

I have been realizing that the small voice prompting me within is His voice, and I am trying to make sure I am tuned in to His frequency.

You see, I want to be negative consequence free.

I want to say I am sorry and change my ways so I never make that mistake again.

I want to care for others the way I want to be cared for.

I want to become the best me I was designed to be.

But I can’t do it alone.

I have four people holding me accountable for a healthy change in my life, which starts today.

I felt the whisper remind me that we were not meant to be alone.

Strength comes out of our weakness through faith & being part of a loving community.


One that will tell you to turn away from the path you are on, coz you aren’t going to like where you are headed, before you fall.

A community that loves up on you, encourages you to face your fears, forgive your wounders, press in to God for all your needs.

Life matters, and so do the consequences of your choices.

Decide today to make choices to bless you, not hurt you in the long run.

Your life will thank you for it!