hurts – KARLA LEES

Bandaids don’t fix bullet holes, you can only cover up what has hurt you for so long. -Austin Dennis

Yesterday, I took a direct hit.

And boy it hurt.

I couldn’t address the wounding in the exact moment due to my shock, but bandaided myself in a stop gap measure as best i could and carried on.

A bandaid isn’t an effective treatment for a major wound, is it?

As soon as I got some time alone, i ripped off the bandaid, and asked God to pour His healing into the situation.

This morning, I am feeling like the bullet has been removed. But the situation isn’t rectified yet.

You see, I can forgive, but i can’t move on until the shooter has heard what they did.

For me, its not about justice, but honor.

The shooter was someone i respect, a fellow believer. And when they get stressed out, they sharpshoot before taking a step back to take in the whole situation.

I get it, because my temper flares too.

God and i have spent years working on my giving my anger over to Him, and not responding in the moment it hits. I need to wait for the feelings to simmer so I can hear His voice telling me what to do when i have been hurt.

You’ll note, I am not talking about being offended, but wounded.

If i take offense at what someone does to me, I sharpshoot myself in the process.

If and when i am wounded, whether by a friend or enemy, I am called to forgive.

I am also called to speak up.

Because of my gifting, word wounds are especially hurtful. Some might receive them as a slap, I receive them as a gun shot.

I spent way too much of my life keeping my wounding in from the built up shock after shock, internalizing my pain in the most self destructive ways.

No more. As a daughter of the King, I deserve to treat myself better.

First I run to my Abba, and let His balm, tears & love enfold me in His embrace.

Then I allow Him to treat the wound: to cauterize, stitch, bind together the rawness left from the injury i have received.

I then ask Him to give me His perspective on the situation. To see what He wants me to do, to speak what He wants me to speak, to forgive as He asks me to.

Finally, only after the previous steps, do i approach the one who wounded me.

Silent no more.

Grounded in who I am, and secure in His embrace, I can speak up with confidence, knowing my Abba is with me, and my voice has value to Him.

If you too are wounded today, draw near to your Abba.

Put on some worship music, get comfy before Him, grab that box of Kleenex, pad of paper & pen, and let it all out.

He will meet you in that pain, and begin the healing you & He are both longing for.

Don’t keep using a bandaid to cover up your hurt.

Allow the Healer to touch you, and make you whole again.

Our souls were never designed to be in the tug of war battles we find ourselves in.

They were designed
to be pursued by One
and pursue only One.

And ever since that lie
in the Garden
where perfect oneness
had existed between man, woman & God
the enemy has continued
to speak poison to our souls

You are not worth it
God isn’t enough
no one loves you
why bother
give up
stop trying
you aren’t special

And we tie up our resources trying to soothe our souls from the effects of believing those lies:
overeating
undereating
addictions: sex, shopping, porn, alcohol, gambling, drugs

When we fail to get to the roots of what is growing in our souls, which is evident from the fruit we produce, the poison continues to mutate and grow stronger as it increases in strength.

Our souls were never meant to be soil for the enemy. We were not designed to be his playground.

We were meant for oh so much more.

God designed us to hear His voice, in response to a longing we may have difficulty putting into words, but exists regardless.

That deep down heart’s cry desire to be known.
But not just known:
Accepted.
Adored.
Appreciated.

We long to connect at the core of who we are to the One who created us with this God sized vacuum only He can fill.

When we settle for less than the best for our souls, they will go along for a while off road, but the road starts getting bumpier, muddier and further away from where we thought we should be.

Our soul cries out for sole custody in our Maker’s care.

The battle for our souls has been being wager since that lie was spoken, enticing Eve & Adam to want more than they already had.

What God had spoken of as not just good, but very good.

The same God who walked alongside them in the Garden wants to walk beside you.

Not only does He offer Himself as your escort, He offers to set you free from the lies and pain that affects your soul. He came not only to tell us He loved us, but show us just how much He does as well.

If you are showing the signs of an inner battle being waged, and are tired of fighting on your own, please know God is waiting for you to say the word.
Help.

And He will come, this Father who is longing to adopt us into His forever family, heal us, give us our freedom, and pour out His love into our battered, weary souls.

We were designed for sole custody.

Let Him be all He was meant to be for you: mind, body, spirit, soul.

Life as you know it will change, when your soul begins to become whole and find its resting place, its true home in Him.

The only holding up this custody battle is the child in question.

God has already won the ultimate battle, and the enemy knows it.

Don’t let him win.

Tag: hurts

Band-Aids over bullet holes

soul custody