pressing in for mercy

This morning I responded snappily to an ongoing stressful situation.  I didn’t pay attention the reminder which flashed into my mind to just listen, but instead instantly reacted.

Again.

As someone who believes how we use our words can bring life, I am likely harder on myself all the more because I know better & know He desires for me to live His Words.

But You delight in showing mercy,
and mercy triumphs over judgment.

When I get overwhelmed at times, I forget to:
stop.
pause.
breathe.
pray.
listen.
wait.
then speak.

When I fail & speak sarcastically, with hurtful words, I become undone once i take a second to process what i have just done, knowing I may have wounded someone I care for.

But You delight in showing mercy,
and mercy triumphs over judgment.

You whisper loving words to invite me back to Your embrace, into Your Stronghold of safety where I can come & be washed clean of the stain of my sinful words.

My past embraced
My sin forgiven
I’m blameless in Your sight
My history rewritten

When I bring all of me before You, You are quite well aware of each of the wrong doings, flaws & gaps existing within me, alongside the gifts You are awakening.

You embrace me anyways.

There will never be a day
You’re uncertain
of the ones You choose

You know me & chose me long before I even came to be.

There is no surprise to You of what I am like, for Your Holy Spirit indwelling me means You are constantly aware of what is going on within me.

You are personally invested in me. Your Beloved.

And once You clean me up & lift me back up again, all i desire to do is spend my life celebrating You. You love me so You even took the judgment upon Yourself so I would no longer carry it.

So I will awake
and spend my days
Loving the One who has raised me up
From death to life
From wrong to right
You’re making all things beautiful

Even me.

Mercy found me but didn’t leave me there.

He helps me move beyond what I believe is possible into the expanse of His possibilities…all things are possible for the endless God who sticks with me through all my days.

You delight in showing mercy
and Mercy triumphs over judgment.

PS. The quoted text today are the lyrics from the one song that whammied over the head & grabbed my heart’s attention Monday night.  The song is Mercy, by Amanda Cook, of Bethel Music, on her yet to be released CD BraveNewWorld. A definite must hear for those of you, who like me, struggle to receive the costly but precious gift of mercy God offers us all.

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grace in judgment’s place

I didn’t get my writing down when I usually do today.

I normally rise & shine with the birdies, and write early before my day gets full, before distractions rear their heads off the pillows ūüôā or my work shift starts.

I started a new medication to help me cope with a new to me condition which has hit me quite hard over the past month, and has been affecting me more than I like to admit emotionally.

Reluctantly I began taking it, and it has hit me wonderfully in one way (pain free) and left me hangry every 2-3 hours or sleepy enough I could sleep at a moment’s notice.

Neither of which makes for a fun wife, mom, friend or co-worker.

So I took it after dinner last night thinking that if I knocked the sleep portion off right away, I could wake up hungry & eat, and start the day wide eyed & bushy tailed as usual.

Not.so.

I woke up an hour late feeling like i had a hangover, needed another four-five hours sleep, and did I mention an hour later than usual?

So my whole routine has been off.all.day.

And that’s okay, because everything I have needed to get done gone done, just not when k thought it should.

Then I realized, I needed to give myself grace instead of judging myself too harshly.

Its okay to admit my day is not what ithought it would be.

Because in some ways I depended more on God than I usually do, and had some conversations I might have otherwise missed because of my early morning delay.

God wasn’t surprised or mad at me, so why should I be?

In the place of self judgment,  I am offering myself the gift of grace today.

May He continue to remind me that all of us need grace in whatever place we find ourselves throughout our days.

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PS. Thanks for being cool about me being late posting today ūüôā

there can only be One

There can only be One.

We may think that there are more, we may even deceive ourselves that we are it.

But what the world screams the loudest is usually fueled by the enemy, the one who tries to counterfeit the Original, isn’t it?

At the center of humanity’s inability to get along is the lie that we know best. That we are capable of knowing what is best for other people, how they should live, whether they should have a certain job or not, whether they should be a part of the in group or left to the outskirts.

In these ways, and so many more, we judge one another.

But not only do we judge one another on what we think is best for each other, we judge them on what they have done wrong, as if we have never failed or sinned ourselves.

Humanity was never designed to be its own judge.

That role belongs to the Only One who is capable of administering it.

The Only One who has not fallen or sinned or made an error of any kind.

The Only One who was, and is, and ever will be the best for that position.

The Only One who is perfectly suited to judge, because He is perfect.

And He created the system of right and wrong, simply through being Himself.

Not only is He perfect, He is loving, kind, merciful…and eternal.

He is beyond time, this Judge, and so is not swayed by the urgency we have to resolved things in the here and right now.

He is also patient, and with the best purpose behind being so…

God does not want any to perish, and as such, has postponed His judgment until Jesus returns, because Jesus paid the price which allows God to pass over us until that time to come arrives.

When we try to judge one another, we hurt Him.

When we refuse to forgive, and lay down our offenses, we hurt ourselves, the Ones He loves, and muddle up our relationships with those He loves.

And when we judge, withhold forgiveness and hurt those around us?

We join Pilate on the Judgment seat.

We were never meant to judge one another. ¬†God allowed the Israelites to have kings, and governments, full well knowing that it would entangle¬†humanity ¬†into the judgment debate…where before it had only been God’s way, with God as judge. ¬†He knew the enemy wanted this, to turn us against one another.

But God wasn’t surprised, not unprepared for the cost to come to restore proper balance.

Here’s the clincher.

There is Only One judge.

God.

I am not talking about someone judging your work to be substandard because you didn’t put in your best effort kind of judgment here.

I am talking judging over those He created, judging their hearts, their decisions and motives.

Just as Jet Li had to battle his evil duplicate in the classic sci-fi movie “The One”, we have to wrestle down the enemy duplicate of who we are meant to be.

God made each of us uniquely,. and we reflect Him in our only One-ness.

It is time to kick the fake you image the enemy is prompting your flesh to put on back to the pit where it was made for.

In order to ¬†be His hands to the world, our focus is to leave¬†His fingerprints behind, no one else’s.

That means when you are tempted to judge someone over their situation, you ask God how to pray and love up on them instead.

This means we take a good hard long look in the mirrored windows of our own homes before throwing stones at the glass houses of others.

It means we deal with our hearts, decisions and motives on our knees before the Only One qualified to judge us, versus placing blame and deflecting through our judgment.

I soooo get this isn’t a nice soft word today…the mirror in front of me is screaming for me to get clean again.

I am so thankful I can ask Jesus to clean me and make me anew every evening, and every morning, because of what He did for us all on the cross, because He alone has the power to resurrect the dead & restore the broken, and Only he was ever meant to judge us.

I am so thankful His grip will not let go of me, until less of me and more of He is what the world will see.

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