Tag: longing

love letter to the Beloved

Karla Lees

Beloved,
yes, I mean you.
Please look at me.
I am inviting you
to come out of hiding
and enter My embrace
just as you are.

My love for you?
It’s not based on what you do,
for I am not interested in performance as a basis for My love.

My love for you?
Overflows out of me,
because I am Love.

And I felt desire for you
my Beloved,
my Bride,
back before I created
this world & all its wonders.

Do you grasp that I consider you
to be My crowning glory
of the wonders in this world?

I had a glimpse of you
as I laid out my plans for Creation
and although I knew
it would take time
and many many lifetimes
in earth’s time
for you to come to me,
I was excited
for our meeting.

I have been waiting for you
since before time began
to meet with you.

Love cannot help but long for the one it loves.

And You are she to me.

My Beloved.

I know life in its daily drudgery can be hard to cope with some days,
but I hope you know the Truth which accompanies you always.

I am with you, each & every moment of your life.

In the hard times, I bring comfort peace as the jewels of My love for you.

When you are rejoicing, I clap for joy.

When you are grieving, I hold you even closer to my heart.  For I too know the pain of deep loss.

When you finish the race before you, I am the Prize waiting for you at the end.

When you feel discarded or broken by this world, know that I long to reshape you into the masterpiece I saw you as & created you to be from the beginning.

Oh my Beloved,
that you would accept what you may not be able to fully understand on this side of Heaven….
you are loved.

Walk it out.
Be loved.
Allow yourself to be my Beloved,
no holds barred, without restraint.

As you walk as my Beloved,
the fragrance of My Presence you will carry will entrance those who do not yet know they are part of My Beloved.

My Bride awakens when she senses My desire for her.

Be loved, Beloved.

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God has been wooing me with quiet loving whispers to my heart, and reassuring Words to my spirit.  The harder my days seem, the lighter they become when I recognize that being His Beloved is not like work, where you can turn it off or on at will.  His Love is meant to cover us, soak into us, and become part of us, making us over as His Beloved from the inside out. 

Be loved today, Beloved.  Allow Him to speak the words & song the song over you He longs to bless you with.

yearn

Karla Lees

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It’s hard to believe that God yearns & longs…

Maybe like me, you somehow have the notion that God is a solid figure sitting on His throne, staying set apart in His Holiness as He rules.

So far from the truth, that notion is.

God is actively present in this world. He is aware of each person on it, intimately.  He knows us all inside & out, knows our weaknesses, strengths, hopes, dreams, areas of brokenness.

Because He is right there with us in the midst of it all.

Jesus came to put skin on the heart of God.

God with us.

Jesus was the earthly demo of the heavenly reality of God always having been with us and always will be with us.

Jesus stepped into earthly time & space to give us the tangible face of Love.

Because His Beloved has never, ever been far from His thoughts, or removed from His heart.

No matter how far we run, where we try to hide or fall where we fail, He was & is, and is going to be there.

Actively pursuing His interest on earth- you, and I.  His beloved.

If, like me, you need to get rid of the lie that He remains separate from what’s really going on in your life, come into His Presence & soak.

Let His truth was over you like a waterfall, and His love flood & well up with in.

Its time to look square into His gaze today, head up, returning the love we see written all over Him to the Lover of our souls.

Beloved, come & be with your Beloved.

Give in to the yearning He has stirred up within you.

For it was designed to match His yearning for you!

One of the most precious pouring outs of yearning I have heard is Shane & Shane’s song Yearn. May it ignite the passion to worship within you, and lead you to a deeper revelation of who you are to Him!

when mothering hurts

Karla Lees

I have not always had the relationship I enjoy now with my mom.  We have both had to work hard at forgiving one another & leaving the past behind to enjoy our current relationship. She is  a treasure i continue to enjoy getting to know better. 🙂

Nor has being a mother always been smooth sailing.  But my kids are the two biggest blessings God has bestowed upon me, and i am way more delighted with them than I am frustrated by the day to day messes they can leave around.

I can get how Mother’s Day stirs up lots of emotions within us:

For many,  joy over their relationship with their mothers, which has been filled with enough blessings to outweigh the growing pains & hard times.

 Joy at becoming a mom.

Others, grief over the early or sudden loss of their mothers, your soft place to land when things got rough or your sounding board when things were tough.

Grief over the unwise choices your children have made, as they have broken your heart by leaving or running away from home right into dangerous, unwise or unknown situations.

Or grief because you are not yet a mom. You have been struggling to have a child of your own.
You may have been blocked from formally adopting the child you adore.  
Your heart aches for what you desire.

Some experience loss because they were abandoned or rejected by their mothers, and intensely feel the lack of that relationship within.

The other side of loss is anger, over abusive or neglectful mothering.

And for those who desperately want to be mothered, no matter why, an intense longing for that hole within to be filled with a mom.  
Or the deep longing for your child to come home.
Or you long for the child you lost, the one who came before their time, or left before living a full life.

All these emotions can swirl around this holiday, making it one of the most emotionally intense holidays of the year.

I have experienced most of the above at one time or another.
I get it.

But more importantly, so does God.

He sees all the ways earthly mothering has broken, battered or abandoned those of you hurt by your mothers.

He knows the grief and devastation of your losses and your longings.

He wants to touch that painful emotion within.

I believe the father waiting for his son in the parable of the Prodigal Son also represents the full heart of God.  That kind of love also includes the heart of mothers.

If God designed man and woman to both be in His image, than both fathers and mothers reflect His heart.

He too longs for your child to come home.

He grieves with you when your mother is suddenly taken from you.

He sees the cries you try to hide at night as you wail in your pillow for the child you lost, or the children you’ve been told will not be coming.

He tears up when you stand at your mother’s grave, and a wave of grief shakes you to your core.

He is there with you.

Just as a mother might be….with her arm around you, even though you may be too dazed to know she is beside you.  Waiting for you to call, and share about your day.

I believe God gives those of us who are His ‘spiritual’ mothers, because He knows that so many of us are rocked by our childhoods, and need a wise discerning mother to step in and mother us where we need it.

I have been very blessed by one such mother, who has since moved on to worship & adore Her Lord face to face.  God caused her to step in at a time when I needed such a mom, with her loving wisdom and redirecting me to Him. I am now pleased to say I have such a relationship with my earthly mother, because He has helped us restore it.

Mother’s Day to me is an earthly celebration, if you don’t know God. Its only one day a year to thank your mom for what she does for you.

Mother’s Day in God’s eyes? An opportunity for every mother, whether by birth, adoption or spiritually, to appreciate the gift of the children He has placed in your care.  The ability to show God’s heart for His kids, every day.

If you are so blessed with a mom you adore, honor her.  Take her out for a meal, if not on Mother’s Day than on your birthday, the day God made her your mom.

Take flowers to her grave, play her favorite movie, sing her favorite song, wear her color.

However she needs to know you appreciate the blessing she is to you when she is alive, and for you to honor her memory in your heart.

And after Mother’s Day is over?

Then honor your mother every day by thanking God for her.

If you struggle with your relationship with your mom, please visit Bonnie Gray‘s excellent blog post on how to find healing from your hurt:

http://www.faithbarista.com/2015/05/toxic-mom-7-ways-to-find-healing/

If you struggle with being the best mother you can to your children, or are waiting to become a mom, ask God to help you become that mother you desire to be.   He will give you the patience you need to stay calm in the terrible twos, the strength to endure the sleepless nights of teething, illness and out past curfew, the wisdom to raise that headstrong child, and the ability to look back and laugh at some of your fumbles.

The best thing you can do as a mother? Know God. And point your kids to Him.

May your children arise to call you blessed. Proverbs 31:28a

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wading through persuasion

Karla Lees

So many times, on our hesitation to act, we can allow ourselves to become persuaded.

If the counsel is prudent, we may avoid trouble ahead. If the counsel is not, we might be acquiring more than we bargained for.

In the novel Persuasion, Anne Elliot has a whirlwind romance at the age of 19 with a naval officer, Frederick Wentworth, yet to begin his adventures at sea.

When he proposes so soon after meeting, Anne is unsure what to do. I believe the fact her level headed mother had found herself quickly married to a handsome baronet (who only thought of his own vanity & societal positioning), she may have been raised being warned of a quick match. Her father immediately rejected his suit due to Frederick’s lack of social standing & wealth.

Anne sought counsel from her mother’s best friend, Last Russell, as to whether she should follow her heart or not. Anne accepted Lady Russell’s wisdom in saying no, in her being too young, and the suitor had not yet made his way on the world, and so broke the engagement.

Instead of praying about it, she sought earthly clarifaction for in fact the major decision any young woman at the time could make. She didn’t have enough faith to pursue what He might have to say in this most important decision.

Frederick was understandably persuaded she did not return his affection, which was untrue.

8 years pass, and they have both harbored resentment alongside their broken hearts when they chance to meet again.

Anne is not the same timid young woman she was at 19.
Now Captain Wentworth, Frederick has made his fortune on the seas, and now commandeers respect for his choice of career.

In the small circle of acquaintances & family they find themselves traveling with, they soon come to learn over a six month period how they Ned to forgive, and are persuaded by their own thoughts & circumstances to give love another chance.

I an happy to say, Anne refuses to listen as people attempt to persuade her not to accept the Captain.

How does this relate to us, today, in the real world?

We too are distracted and regularly persuaded in our society & culture.

The media not so subtly persuades us to believe everything at first glance without in-depth study or knowledge.

Unsure as to who we really are, we tend to seek counsel in our peers or those we admire in an attempt to persuade ourselves what to do, or not to do, in a situation or choice.

The enemy is also on the prowl, on the look out for how he can persuade us to step off the path of safety. He longs for nothing more than to make us stumble, or be caught unawares by the consequences of what he is persuading us to give in to.

We tend to rattle things through our minds,  emotions and by those around us instead of seeking the One who knows us best, and has only the best plans for us.

Do you again need to be persuaded of His absolute passion for you?

His ardor never failing, His grip never slipping, His intentions only for your/my good.

His love for us displayed on the cross was the absolute display meant to persuade us all of just how much He loves us.

He needs not do anymore to persuade us.

He spent from the Garden of Eden to the Garden of Golgotha persuading His people of His love, until He took the most radical step to finally persuade us, once and for all.

I believe God knows we are like sheep, and have a tendency to only look around us, instead of at the Shepherd taking care of us.

Its time to be persuaded to seek Him first.

It is hard to be in love with someone who doesn’t spend time with you, who takes off at the first sign of trouble, and is easily persuaded through false sources that you don’t love them.

One would think God to be tired of persuading us.

However, His Spirit is constantly at work doing just that.

Reminding us how much He loves us.

As if each of us was His only love.

Persuading us to come, spend time with Him, and believe Him.

Allowing ourselves to be persuaded to follow where He leads.

Our Groom awaits His Bride, longing for her to become secure in His devotion.

Will you allow yourself to be persuaded by the One who is worthy to do so?

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better tomorrow today

Karla Lees

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I am a creative person, which can be a danger at times when I lose my anchoring.

Spending too long dreaming about the future can hobble your walk in the present.

We were meant to dream…but with the dreams God has for us to be dreaming. Dreams that awaken our soul’s deepest longings and desires, and single-mindedly pursue the passion they stir within us.

But the key is for God to be the one who gives us those dreams.
Which means we need to be pressing in close to Him regularly, and asking Him for the dreams He has meant for us to dream.

One of my deep down, never spoke about dreams in high school was to write a book.

I partly allowed the kind words of others to point me in a different direction for school and work, because I was too fearful to speak up and share my dream.

It took several years and a few major traumas for God to rekindle my love of writing into full flame again. When I had been in high school, computers were just coming into the mainstream, and I would never have believed I would end up writing a blog on my own computer every day!

I am trusting that the One who gave me this dream will stir up the embers until the spark catches on and it burns high with the fuel of my faith & His promises as it begins to unfurl.

How do i know this dream is from God, you may be asking yourself? I know I did.

1. I want to write because I have to. Its a part of me.

As God is the giver or our gifts & talents, I believe He hardwired to do so, and equips me to use it as He strengthens me. For God to give me a dream about writing fits with who He has designed me to be.

2. The dream never died.

God is eternal, and His words & promises are as well. What He has spoken comes to pass.

3. When you get confirmation.

When He reminds you through others who don’t know about your hopes & dreams, and they speak as if they are reading your secret journal, you can bet it was God! When He leads you to the right resources, a part of your spirit jumps and laughs within you.

I have another major dream He has spoken into me and over me over the past years. I am keeping that beautiful one even closer to my heart for its time has not yet come. So it is expectantly slumbering as I await for my Prince to awaken it.

Time spent pursuing Him will only add to the dreams He gives us, like colored paint adds depth and life to a black outline.

So I wait for the outline of my dream to write a book for His glory to unfurl. I have had a colored glimpse of what I think it will look like at the end, and am laying this dream down before its Giver so it will come to life as He leads.

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Dreams from God come true when we allow Him to take us by the hand as we sketch them out- whether its via word, music or art!

While I wait for what is to come, I draw close to Him today, to not miss out on what He has for me in the here and now.

My tomorrows are only in His hands if He has my today.

I belong to You, forever You have my heart

Karla Lees

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Just like you, I need to be reminded regularly how much I am loved.

And just like you, I have come to realize that I can’t always have my needs met by those around me.

I fall into the mindset at times where I expect my loved ones to ‘just know’ when i need to hear I am loved, without needing to tell them.

I don’t think I am alone, for I believe we have all been hardwired to need affirmation, love and appreciation.

But we are not always prepared to dig in and seek them from their Source.

The best way to receive love?
From its Source.

But going to the source isn’t enough. God IS more than enough, but love takes effort on our parts.

We need to:

Believe it.
Receive it.
Appreciate it.
Reciprocate.
Express it.
Soar with it.
Encourage it to grow.
Never take it for granted.
Fight for it.
Protect it.

There are three main ways to receive God’s love.

1. From God, Love Himself.
Through prayer, spending time in His Presence, listening & resting in Him, He reveals His love to us – in as many ways as there are possible depending on the recipient!

Take some time daily, and go to your favorite place to connect with God. It may be your fave chair, room in your home, pathway or in your car during your travels to and fro. He will be found no matter where you go to seek Him! Just as you feel closer to your loved ones after time with them, make sure to date God regularly if you want love to grow & flow between you.

2. His Word.
This tangible touch of His love is written for all to be able to know this Love. For His love story began before Creation as a whisper in God’s heart, and will last forever as we love our way through eternity together.

Take a walk through the Word, and look for all the ways He showed love and made promises to those who draw near to Him. Write them down, highlight them. Leave a track record for you to remember & return to when you need another reminder of His love.

3. His children.
Through the love of other people, and the love they have found through God that they have recorded in word, art & song. Sometimes a piece of music, artwork or writing strikes the right chord within us, and opens our hearts to His love in a new way. And that child of God was just expressing His love for them, and their love for Him….and the overflow can remind the viewer, reader & hearer.

Pull out a source you have that reminds you how much He loves you. It may be your old photo albums, remembering how He has been with you every step along your journey. It may be a painting that speaks to your heart. It may be a book that sketches with words His wooing love for those who wander looking for Home.

For me, time with God involves seeking Him through His Word. Digging deep, wrestling with who I am and who He longs for me to be. Listening & chatting with Him, sensing and waiting in the quiet place where we gather. Worshipping through the Psalms, worship & music cds and singing a new song when it rises up out of me.

God is calling “I love you, come Home” to His bride, for deep love is constantly calling out for the one He loves.

There are a few songs recently that have been like arrows into my heart I would like to link in below for you to hear.

May His love for you echo loudly through the words, melodies and harmonies as you listen.

May you know where you belong, and who has Your heart, forever.

I Belong to You, Derek Johnson

Love Came Down, Kari Jobe

Yours Forever, Darlene Zschech

You Don’t Miss a Thing, Amanda Cook

pausing in the yearning

Karla Lees

I have a confession to make.
I don’t like waiting.
In fact, I hate it.

Like a wild horse, I have been in need of taming in this area. And with the brokenness that came from the taming at His hands, I have found a secret that helps me in the inevitable wait.

Because we all have something we are waiting for, do we not?

When I am longing, yearning for something- I have found I am able to pause, breathe deep, and sneak in a moment of rest.

It doesn’t meant I am not waiting any longer.

Nor does it mean I am not yearning passionately for the answer I seek.

It means I can lay it down, put my head on Jesus’ shoulder, and rest.

A pause doesn’t mean you aren’t in motion.

It actually makes the motion more pronounced and possibly even more effective.

As a musician, I have learned the value of properly timed rests in the music I play or sing.

With the pauses, the music has a chance to be highlighted, and can sound more majestic, playful or worshipful as a result.

The white spaces make the black notes stand out.

The rests give the surrounding sounds movement.

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I also believe that a pause or rest can also:
Rejuvenate me in my wait. 
Revitalize my passion.
Renew my energy and determination for the path ahead.

Instead of being frustrated by the pause, I am looking at it more as a pit stop on the long race of life.

Time to refuel, change the tires, take a breather and refocus before heading back into the race.

When we rest in Him, we pause to connect with God, who has already told us He has the best in store for us.

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In our pause, we can remember His goodness, trust in His love, and rest deep within, knowing it is well with our souls.

Even if we aren’t there yet.

long

Karla Lees

it’s hasn’t been long
since I saw You last
yet somehow
it feels
like forever

The road seems to
stretch
despite my
every step
as I wearily
attempt
to make it
back to You

The sunrise
clouded over,
no stars
nor sunset
to be seen
in the evening sky

yet a glimmer of hope
continues to spark,
this ember in my heart
which refuses to be
quenched

without words
deep calls to deep
as i long
for the One I love
longing to
see
sense
hear
touch
be with You

a smile
a loving word
a kindness shown
a welcoming purr
a thank you
a giggle
a hug
You

echoes of Your Presence
swirl all around me
drawing me
closer
to You
with each
skin on God
demonstration
of Your love

fresh wind
blows again
across my soul
peace deepens
& settles back in
as hope re-anchors
itself on You
the one I long for

You lighten
my load
every time I
leave it
in Your capable hands
which only
begs the question,
“Why
did I drag this
for so long?”

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Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; therefore He will rise up to show you compassion.

Isaiah 30:18a NIV

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