when you don’t quite have the best fit

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For the past few years, I have struggled to find the best fit for myself in a pair of jeans.  I have more padding than I would like in my ab area, with a literal vs visual tush (basically flat) and fairly skinny legs.

I have curves in the wrong places for the trendy type of pants that are usually the easiest to find when looking for jeans.

Either I find a pair (my previous best fit) of skinny ones with a midrise and have sag beneath my tush, or find a great tush fit with wide wide legs and difficulty breathing (not an option for great quality of life).

Because I am also between sizes, and am over 5’8″ tall, this combination has made it very hard to find my best fit.

Until last Saturday.

I happened to be at the mall with a girl friend, and we decided to poke in a new store that we can across there.

And on a mannequin on the top shelf above their jeans, were my dream jeans.

Ladies, you know what i mean. The pair you just know that you know are going to be a perfect fit for you.

And guess what? After 5 different styles of jeans, guess which pair I ended up with?!

MY perfect fit.

So why I am sharing about finding the perfect fit of jeans?

Because just as the widow got justice from the earthly judge she kept going to day after day after day (Luke 18), committing to get your answer when you are looking for your best fit is possible.

And God encourages us to do so.

He wants us to know what we are passionate about, then pursue Him until we learn and can see where our best fit is.

I have known for years that I am not an average puzzle piece.  I don’t fit with everybody else fits & talent wise.  I am custom designed to be a part of the puzzle, but in the exact place I am meant to fill.

I am made for my perfect fit.  Just as you are.

Now, I am not saying that we aren’t to serve or work outside of our passion.  I am saying that God knows where we are to be the perfect fit for what He has planned for His KIngdom, and He chooses to use us uniquely shaped people to fill in the right places for His blessings to flow.

Because if your barista is meant to serve people, they will greet you with a smile, learn your name and get your order right.

Your kids’ babysitter, child care provider or teacher will celebrate your child’s successes, and inspire them to be the best they can be.

Your pastor will learn your name, pray for you, encourage you to find your place in the body you belong to.

Your mechanic will care that you are stressed out by your sudden car repair, and get how you need you need it fixed and fast.

Your doctor will take the time to explain and listen to you during your visit, without making you feel like just a number in line.

But put someone designed to be a mechanic in your local coffee shop as a barista?  Or a ballerina in as your pastor? Or a rock star as a grocery teller?

Not the best fit for their skill set, even though they might get the job done.

And if you don’t know yourself the way God has designed you to best fit, you can spend a lot of time and energy pursuing the wrong paths.

If you are looking for your best fit?
Where you are meant to release His Kingdom with your gifts & talents?

Ask Him.

He knows when and where you are to be.

He knows how and why.

He knows if it meant to be you or someone else.

I was in a job I did well in, but not the best fit for me.  I asked God to make it quite clear if I was to stay or go, and He did.

We were attending a church where we loved the people, but after many years, staff changes and most of our friends moving on, we needed to ask God if we were to stay or to go, and He did. We are now in a better fit for all four of our giftings in our family.

Again, I am not advocating change for change sake, nor recommending one church over another.  We are one Body.

But the church around the corner might need your gifts, and the church you are currently in doesn’t.  Because it isn’t your best fit.

You might be better suited to go to another country and use your gifts there versus in your local community.  Because that may be your best fit.

God may want you to be the first parent in your family line to stay at home and raise your children instead of working full time out of your home.

You may be meant to minister in word, song, prayer, encouragement, healing or teaching.

And you may not have figured out where He wants you yet as you are so busy doing, you haven’t set aside the time to sit at His feet and listen.

In order to find the perfect fit, you have to be actively seeking it.

If you, like me, have forgotten who He made you to be and need to rediscover yourself,  i would like to suggest a few things to help you along the journey:

51-pWsm5DoL._SX322_BO1,204,203,200_1. Do a spiritual gifts assessment.  Answer honestly, and you may be surprised by the result. Something you may have thought of as not relevant may be part of how He points you to your best fit.  The thumbnail is the best one I have ever done, and have actually taught.

5lovelang2. Discover your love language.  Visit the 5 Love Languages website, and learn how you best receive love.  This definitely impacts how you feel you fit.

3. Direct Revelation: Pray, worship, journal, read the Word. Spend quality time at His feet, and ask Holy Spirit to bring you revelation, and speak to you about where He wants you to serve to give Him the most glory.  This may change over seasons in your life, but with Him as your guide, you will stay on course.

4. Don’t give up!   Keep listening, seeking confirmation and His direction.  He may have someone as you to do something you  have never done before, and your spirit comes alive as you do.

How did you find your best fit?  I just love how God speaks to each of us in just the right way we need to hear Him!

love the one you’re with- 3 ways to show it this Valentine’s Day

Love is a choice.

You may have heard that before, but this Valentine’s, may it sink in deep.

We show this love by how we care for those around us.

By choosing to love them, our love can be seen like an outer garment.

We choose to love.

How we express that love should be up to three key factors:

1. Listen:
Keep an ear out for how the person says they want to be loved, which is usually their primary Love Language.

My hubby is Physical Touch, so a long hug, hand hold or kiss he interprets as how much I love him. If we spend too long apart, those small touches remind him he is loved.

My daughter is Show Me. A spontaneous gift, a thoughtful card, going out of our way to drop her off or pick her up from school…those speak volumes too her of how much she is loved.

My son is Quality Time. Spending one on one, whether chatting, reading together, gaming or watching a comedy or action dvd reassures his heart that he is loved.

Mine is Words, or Tell Me you love me. I text, call or email loved ones regularly as a way of reminding them how much they mean to me. Hearing I was on someone’s heart or mind & they tell me about it makes my day!

(PS. Not sure what your love language is? Take the free test at:
Discover Your Love Language , it is so worth doing…for all your relationships.

2. Look:
How we see them show love usually reveals how someone wants to be loved.

It is likely no surprise that a writer & singer would love to hear loving, kind & encouraging words. Take the time to observe your loved ones as they express care & love to those around them. They will give you the best clue you need by how they show their love.

3. Get Equipped:
Learn how God says we are to love up on one another:
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Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

This is a huge list to try & do on our own. Trying to love in our own strength leaves us exhausted and empty.

Feeling stressed about how to love like the list in 1 Corinthians 13?

The good news is God helps us to love others when we come to Him to be loved…

The overflow of His love through us is more than enough to express our love to others.

This Valentine’s, let your loved ones know how much you choose to love and treasure them.

Your loved ones doesn’t need our freaking out about what you should get them by the world’s standards.

Bigger doesn’t mean better if your wife hates the roses you get her every year, coz you think that’s how you need to show her extravagant love & that she is special on Valentines… if she really loved daisies (true story!)

If you can only afford:
a small well chosen token…
genuine affection & love poured into a card…
a shared moment over coffee…
a dance to your wedding song…
a poem about love you printed off the internet and put in a dollar store frame…
then be yourself and express your love however you can. The best Valentine’s I ever got were hand written cards from my loved ones, as they showed how much they loved me by loving me back as I love to be loved!

Its not about the monetary price, but the choice you make to invest your love into another’s heart.

Love is priceless, and will live on beyond beauty, objects and time.

Choose to love from the best Source of love there is, its Inventor & #1 Lover of us all!

Love is always worth the investment when you choose to love the ones He loves, revealing His heart as you do.

His love never fails,
never gives up,
never runs out on us.

That’s the love I want my loved ones to know I have as my source of love, and that i will model for them.

Love wants the best.

Loving your beloveds as they long to be loved is the best gift you can give, every day!