talk to me

There are many voices we listen to, but one that can do the most damage if we give it free rein.

And it may be impacted by the enemy, but it isn’t him.

It’s my, your inner voice. 

Our self talk can block us from hearing God’s voice, keeping our minds so humming we are left desperate for peace & rest.

Yesterday was not a good day for me.

I have a tendency to ‘what if’ when it comes to being told ‘let’s meet’ without any details.

That feeling like you are being called into the principal’s office to get reamed.

Which is funny for me to feel, because that never happened to me.

Part of it is feeling off balance with not knowing what is coming but having been given just enough notice to set my mind on the hamster wheel, and part is my insecurity.

I don’t think I deserve blessings, so I auto think worst case scenario.

And that isn’t healthy for me, my mind or my relationships, especially with God.

As I said yesterday was a mental fight to regain my peace.  So when the worst case scenarios started running through my head, I simply but strategically prayed for God to give me peace in the wait, give me wisdom and to prepare me for whatever might come up. 

Coz really, if its my time to leave a job, freaking out about it doesn’t help me change the reality or cope well.

So I made sure I ate well, did some stretches to keep myself loose, and kept on working, trying to not allow my mind to wander but stay on task. I tried to actively listen for His voice, and let go of the fear of the unknown as I did.

Wisdom is found in knowing we need help, and asking for it in from the best source possible.

Prayer was the best thing I could do at that time, in that busy office.

At home, putting on praise & worship music and diving into the Word helps me calm my mind, and face my fears, knowing God is with me.

I don’t have to let the ‘what its’ have any long term air time. Keeping them as brief commercials means I don’t need to fear them, I can choose to change the channel from Woe is me or fright night to Rest in Him.

At any time,
in every situation,
call out to Him
for what you need.
Whether rescue, rest,
restoration or wisdom,
we will find purpose,
peace in His Presence.
Let the fear go,
let Him go before you.
The wise ones seek the Source of all Wisdom daily!


Sunday Psalm: Trust in the Lord

Lord I come,
wavering about
whether I can hand over
all that is bothering me
on the inside,
hidden from sight.

Then it dawns on me…
if You know everything,
even what I am thinking & feeling,
then what’s the point
in pretending You don’t
any longer?

Take this offering
of mushed up dreams,
tired hopes, broken pieces
of my hard heart, and the choice sins I succumbed to:
and make me over.

Its time for a new heart
that burns with its zeal for You
and Your kingdom come.

I’m ready for a new mindset,
one that stands firm on the Hope
of the good that is to come,
even when I can’t see it yet.

I’m all in for a healed body,
one that will move and live
keeping You in the forefront,
honoring Your handiwork.

May Your Spirit lead my spirit
in & out of whatever
come my way each day,
as I tune myself to Your frequency
first & foremost.

May it be seen in all i meet
that I put my trust in the Lord,
and I will not be shaken
with Him as my sure foundation!



caught in the headlights

The other day, someone was speaking highly about a skill I have while I was in the room, and I felt uncomfortable.

I felt awkwardly caught in the headlights!

The issue wasn’t that I had overheard, because the person knew I was there.

The real issue?

I am not used to praise and compliments, especially in public.

I had a normal upbringing, but as I entertained myself pretty well (as readers and kids on bikes tend to do) I didn’t tend to be on my parents’ radar much unless i did something wrong.  Which, like any normal kid does, I did.

Both my parents were raised with the same style of parenting. Other than I love you’s, there wasn’t much verbal encouragement unless it was related to grades, again very normal for that generation, and NOT a negative reflection on my parents. Just an observation.

The result in my mind?  When I did get called on my behaviour, it felt like being in the principal’s office waiting for the chastisement to begin. Which is now sort of funny, because as a singer and musician, I am used to being seen…. but I am not a head right for the spotlight kinda gal

As a result, I have had a hard time with criticism, as I didn’t often get its counterpart of encouragement. If you offer it publicly, I used to be even worse accepting it. Occasionally even full blown panic attacks. If it was written down, not so bad, as I could digest it in private.

I did have a few teachers who tried to build me up, but to a kid who doesn’t get a lot of attention unless its negative (again, my perception) I didn’t really know what to do with it.

Into the locker of my brain it went.

As a young adult, I grew a hard skin to compensate, until I ran head first right into His embrace.

God’s words bypassed my hardened shell and shot into my heart, so I was able to receive the words of love and hope He had for me, and could accept the promise of restoration.

Fast forward to my marriage.
To a man who got no attention unless it was negative.

See the pattern here?

I got some counseling & mentoring over the years, but nothing seemed to come close to this issue.

Three years ago, I started working for my first really encouraging boss. On a regular basis, this person tries to speak encouragement to keep using your gifts, his appreciation for the hard work we do, and general blessing. A year later, I began working for another boss, who has a similar thankful & encouraging style.
More encouragement started being spoken to me on a regular basis, but usually on a small scale.
Last year, I added a few more freelance bosses as i began to run my own small business, and each of them has also been a blessing, and express gratitude.

I am very grateful to God for the blessing it is to have such great people to work for and with. It has taken almost 3 years for me to accept verbal kind words my direction.

Then the worst thing (in my imagination) happened to me just over a month ago.

I was sitting in a prophetic service (which I am fine with, btw!) where the pastor began publicly sharing the words He was sharing through him.

All of a sudden my heart started racing, and I clearly heard “He is going to speak to you next.”

I am so thankful God gave me the heads up, because if He hadn’t I would have missed what was said in my shock at being singled out.
Coz the word was so encouraging.

And God knew I needed to hear it out loud, in front of witnesses.

Because not only did it answer a question I had, but it released something in the heavenlies.
I don’t need to be afraid any longer of every word I am about to hear being a negative one.

God has been using others and His word to remind me I do have good characteristics & skills, which has helped me become more balanced in my own thinking about myself.

I still need correction, as we all do. Now, I can take it as a part of the picture, instead of perceiving every thing to be a mountain out of a molehill. And I am getting used to it coming out in ways I cannot always expect.

I have learned I don’t want to limit how God wants to encourage or bless me, and as I trust Him more, He reassures my heart as to who i am to Him.

And the fear begins to ebb, and I can take in what He wants me to hear and learn.

So no more awkward deer or moose caught in the headlights for me, at least after the initial few seconds any ways!



Short fuse going off?
Is your molehill looking like a mountain?
Just like me?

Yes, we all have days where we get stuck in it.
Life has both ups and downs…and no two days are ever truly alike because of all the variations involved…

But we can still feel stuck…
in a rut
in a bad relationship
in a boring class
in a dead end job
in old memories
in a situation that’s out of control

And it can strike at any time from the moment we arrive til right before we leave here.

How do we get unstuck?
How can we face the day?

Seeking His face.
No matter what.

Last week was a rough week for me. Several doctor appointments, two kids starting back to school, a new job for one child, sick days, unexpected tech glitches, early mornings/late days and little sleep add up to feeling stuck.

Taking a few minutes to breathe in and out, quieting myself as I got ready to drive the car.

Worship music in the CD player.

Reading a few positive devotionals each morning.

Checking out the Psalms, a record of David and several others’ ups & downs while seeking God.

Touching base with my support team.

Praying, even when words didn’t come easily and only teary groans were barely possible.

And God got me through.

Today He showed me He was taking care of us in a very practical way, which boosted my faith.

A major need on my mind was met. In full.

When we can’t see wiggle room is possible beyond our sight, we limit what God can do.

We remain stuck in our self imposed ruts.

I am tired of stuckititis. In its quicksand miry pull that sucks the joy out of the moment, day, week.

Its time to stick close to the One who sticks closer than we can ever imagine this side of heaven.

He is enough. More than enough.

Stick with Him to find the freedom you long for, just like I do.

Been stuck too long?
He can release you.
Reach out your hand, and let Him guide you safely out from whatever is holding you back.

slow cooked

I love coming home after a long day’s work to dinner being ready to serve, with only one pot to wash.  I plan my meals around our crazier nights to make it easier on us all by having dinner cook slowly throughout the day, instead of a mad dash to get it ready once I get through the door.

One of the women in a bible study I am attending this summer brought up how she thought that God was a slow cooker.

I immediately caught what she meant.

In this age of instant expectation & the rush of the drive thru, we can miss the blessing that can come through preparing ahead, which is something you have to do with a slow cooker.

A tough piece of meat can soften over the long cooking process when the slow cooker is placed on low, and come out tender and as soft as butter. Many people put less expensive cuts of meat in, knowing this slow cooking process will tenderize it to taste like a premium cut.

God does the same with us.

He has prepared a place for us, and the path for us to make it there.  If we place our lives in His hands, as imperfect and hardened flesh needing to be softened and remodeled, He tenderizes and makes us into the best us we can be with His loving care. Our hearts, our minds, our souls.

We tend to think God should do everything in an instant, but we only think as far as we can see. God has had a plan in place from the instant He began creation, to unveil His full plan for each and everyone He has ever and will ever create on earth. 

His plan has spanned the entirety of human history.

The ultimate slow cooker, indeed.

I don’t get stressed out anymore about what is coming up ahead tomorrow, or the day after that…

As I continue to offer my whole self to Him, He continues to slowly shape me into the whole me He planned, moment by moment, day by day…

The slow cooking process can feel too long, but in His hands I will be the best result possible!