don’t skip your sorrows: wisdom awaits

Don’t skip over your sorrow, there is wisdom it wants to teach you.

-Dr. Henry Cloud

God uses all circumstances & scenarios to teach us if we are His, and to try and reach us if we aren’t.

My recent fall has taught me a few things about myself.

This being my second minor blow to the noggin, I realized I have been on the go too much without enough of His energy to keep me going.

Lesson #1:

Doing for the sake of my glory doesn’t bring Him glory.

As I have been needing more rest after this latest physical ‘adventure’ I have been learning to discern between laziness and my need for rest.

Lesson #2:

Its okay to listen to what your body needs, but you need to filter it through what He needs for you to do each day.

I am not the same person I was a few years ago, nor even the same as I was two weeks ago. I have been listening more, to myself, to others and to God. I find I don’t miss talking as much as I thought I would. I have to control my impulses a bit tighter, as emotions occasionally flare sharply where they used to start with a slow burn.

Lesson #3:

Not everyone will get you have been going through changes on the inside. Be yourself anyways.

Taking the necessary time off to recover has made it more clear what I need to do less of, or leave behind, and what is most important to me.

Lesson #4:

When you say no, and people don’t like it, remember: Not my problem. Sometimes, you have to say no to good to say yes to the best.

There has been one change I noticed the most over the last few years since my first concussion. I am a bit numb-er to extremes. My temper doesn’t blow as badly as it used to, but I also don’t get as excited as I used to either. A few things that used to really bug me don’t bother me at all anymore, and a few things I used to love to do don’t have the same thrill.

Lesson #5:

Over the passing of time, the touch of His hand and life lessons, things will change. I will be okay. He’s got me through it all!

I don’t like to lose, I don’t think any of us do. Most of all, I don’t like feeling like my life is out of control. Quick breath. This situation has revealed to me the truth to me in a most abrupt and earth jarring way…

Lesson #6:

I never was in control.
He always has been, and always will be in control.
Thinking I was was a lie,
knowing I am not is freeing truth.

What lessons have you been learning through the sorrows that have come your way?

The final lesson I will share with you all today?

Lesson #7:

It’s okay to cry.
My tears when I am upset by things in my life are healthy release for me, and matter to God.
So much so that He collects them in a bottle with my name on it!

when no is the final answer

All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.

Matthew 5:37 NIV

When the phone rings, the letter or the email arrives, a person inquires and a request is involved, God gives us two options of response.

Notice pray about it isn’t one of them in the verse above.  In the context of the paragraph this verse comes from in Matthew 5, oaths are being discussed.

We are not to make oaths or swear on the life of a family member.  We are to let our yes’ be yes, and no’s be no.  We are to keep the words that come out of our mouth as  promises.

Other than making a few key ones into covenants, God deals with us in promises.

He will be with us.
He is with us.
He loves us.
He is for us.
We are His.

These are just a tip of the promises God reveals His character and heart through to us.

God’s Yes and No are set once they are spoken. He doesn’t say what He doesn’t mean.

Our responses are to be the same.

Over the past few weeks, I covered a few extra shifts at one job, and gave 2 months notice to my other one of my shift changes (I set my own hours at this one) as a result.  Once I committed to working those set shifts, my promise was given.

Unless there is a medical or major emergency beyond my control, I try to keep my yesses.

I also have been learning that if I have to ask God about it, it is likely a no. 

If I don’t know whether it fits with my gifts, talents, time or family life- its a no. 

If it is a major request such as sponsoring, if the budget can’t stretch, its a no. 

If it isn’t something I am passionate about, or directly helping someone in need, its a no. 
If its a one off, then I will know immediately if it sits right with me, especially if its relationship building. If not, you guessed it- no.

If it is going to become all about me if I step into it, its a no.

I am not called to be anyone else but me.

Just because someone thinks it might be something I should do, doesn’t mean it is.

By now, I have a pretty good grasp of who I am, flaws & all, and saying no has been an issue in the past when I was more insecure.

I realize now that stepping out when I wasn’t to be was a huge contributing factor for insecurity sneaking its way in.

Stepping out where we are meant to trod, we know the yes that lead us there was meant to be.

There are many things we are all capable of doing.

Then there are the gifts that inspire the happy place within to burst forth and passionately spread as we use it, let it grow and deepen.

There will always be requests to answer.

Yes or No.

Maybe, let me think about it, and I will get back to you are not part of Matthew 5:37.

Simple, yet complex at the same time if you don’t know yourself very well.

If the asker won’t like you for saying no, that is their problem.

God blesses us when we walk where He is guiding us. Don’t add undue stress by veering off the path trying to impress, or by mollycoddling someone’s feelings.

Let your yes be yes, and your no be no.

The enemy already has enough options to try and attack us on.  Don’t give up any unnecessary ground because you are more concerned about another’s feelings than God’s plan for you.

And my last comment?
Don’t apologize, simply say no.

You don’t need to explain.
They shouldn’t push you for one.

Your boundaries should be in place to have the confidence enough to answer yes or no, and end of discussion.

Do you ever have a problem saying no?  Can you relate?

There is a freedom found in saying yes to the best and no to the rest.


As you press close to His Presence, may God help you know who you are, and how He is calling you to fulfill your purpose. 

in the wait


Sometimes, all you can do in the wait is worship.

I am so thankful for my best friends today. I was awaiting some test results (i have some inflammation in some joints not going away) and instead of hiding myself away (my usual for things that concern me directly) I asked God to help keep my mind focused on something else instead.

Impromptu coffee with 3 girlfriends before my appointment helped, as did reading through the Psalms this morning.

Sometimes all you can do in the wait is worship….

I have several friends seeking answers and direction right now. We all tend to have a question or two we want God to answer, right?

Sometimes God says no because He doesn’t want us to go through that door, because He knows the damage we could encounter on the other side.

Sometimes God seems silent, because we really haven’t asked Him the real question on our hearts, because we are afraid He won’t love us anymore.

Sometimes God seems distant, because we withdraw inside ourselves from believing the blessings He has are really for us,  because if God really knew us, He wouldn’t want us any longer.

Sometimes God says yes, and confirms yes in a miraculous amazing way that dumbfounds us until we cannot contain the joy within any longer.

But sometimes God doesn’t appear to answer, because His answer is to wait. Not yet.

And its the not as clearly answered times, the feeling like we are in a drought, or on our own, where the secret to maintaining our hope becomes more evident.

It is in worshipping Him where we can rest in the waiting.

The laying it all down before Him, our hopes, dream, questions, wounds, hurts, brokenness, questions…. is an act of worship.

Giving our all to the One who deserves our attention 24/7, 365 days a year because of who He is, let alone what He has done for His people over the centuries, and what He will do into eternity.

Worship in the waiting opens our eyes to see who He really is, opens our ears to hear His quiet loving voice, opens our minds to sense His leading, and opens our hearts to receive His love.

Sometimes our waiting is designed to reach us, change us in a deeper fashion than a quick yes or straight no can.

Because sometimes we aren’t yet ready to hear the answer, let alone accept it.

When we draw near to God in worship, He equips us for what we need, right now, for what we are dealing with right now.

Sometimes His Presence is more than enough to help us through.

Today, God clearly demonstrated that although I had some test results come back, I need to wait until the next assessment coming up for more clarity.

And He has given me a peace beyond what I expected, as I keep my eyes fixed on Him on this path.

Whatever His timing, I choose to place my hope in knowing He has the best in store for me no matter what I see.

In a new way today, I found hope in His Presence.

free to say….

I said yes to something today (extra work) when I should have said no.

I have a hard time accepting i am free to say no.
Still too much wanting to please people left within me.

I am free to say yes, but just like with everything else, I have to live with the consequences.

More work, less rest while dealing with a health concern was not wise. I have modified my next two days to accommodate more rest as a result, which will help in the long run…but not tonight when I am feeling drained.

I am also free to say no, but just like with everything else, I have to live with the consequences.

Less work, more rest while dealing with a health concern would be wise. I would have to modify my budget to match less income coming in, which is temporarily tight but tonight I would feel less drained.

The ability to decide yes or no began before the Garden of Eden.

It began with God saying yes to creation.

And Satan saying no to serving God.

Those were the background decisions that led up to the Garden.

And man has been struggling with saying yes to what is best ever since.

We like instant, don’t we? Immediate gratification when we make our decisions.

Life doesn’t work like that.

And God’s ways are mysterious, and don’t flow as easily as we think.

We ask God for a speedy drive to work one day when we are leaving late, and we end up in a traffic snarl. But had we been at that intersection ten minutes earlier, we might have been schmucked by that car weaving out of control.

We ask for all our debt to be removed by saying yes to the weekly lotto ticket, but end up in more debt with the addiction of believing in easy money.

Our decisions, our yes’ and no’s, ultimately determine where we go when we leave this life behind.

Saying yes to Christ means a loving forever home with Him in heaven.

Saying no to Christ means a forever home with the enemy, separated from love, for eternity.

The little decisions impact us on a daily basis. Saying yes to what is best for us in the immediate may be hard, but will pay off in the long run.

Don’t wait until its too late to say yes when it counts the most…