Tag: pain

beyond beyond

Karla Lees

We can ignore even pleasure. But pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.

–C.S.Lewis, the Problem with Pain

Pain has become an almost constant companion to be over the past several years.  Not the occasional accidentally whacked myself on the bedside in the middle of the night, or tripped over a Barbie head on the living room floor (yes, I confess, done those!)
but the consistent cry of my joints in pain.

I am currently having some sort of arthritis like flare hitting my hands and feet right now, in particular three fingers on my left hand.

As someone who uses her hands for a living, and who loves to crochet, this has not only impacted my physical daily life & livelihood…it has tried to invade mentally, emotionally & spiritually.

Not being able to easily do things I used to take for granted, like opening ziploc bags. Leaves me mentally frustrated.

Too many of those kind of incidents, or not taking enough time to rest between tasks leaves me feeling useless and low.

Not understanding why this is happening, or why it randomly flares out of control when it does leaves my faith shaken in a storm of emotions.

That’s how I look at my pain from my point of view.

God however doesn’t look at things quite the same way, does He?

I went downstairs this afternoon to hang some laundry, and prayed as I do so. Bearing my heart to God, I bluntly told Him that I didn’t know why this was happening, but I believe He wants the best for me, and in order for me to make it through, I need to know He is with ne in my pain, right where I am at. I need Him to tangibly show me.

A sense of peace washed over me, and I knew in my spirit, He heard me, He is with me, and He is for me.

I don’t know any more than you do what tomorrow will bring.

I do know that my God is present, in my here and now.  I am not alone in my pain.  I have asked Him to heal me, and when I worship the pain tends to lessen, so I am pressing in believing for a miracle.

But the greater miracle to me?

Having God with me each moment. Every single now that I have.

For He says,

I am more than enough for what you are going through:

I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.

-Philippians 4:13

He is worth my trust & praise:

The Lord is my strength and my shield; in Him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to Him.

-Psalm 28:7

Despite my pain, I will continue to give Him praise.

He has always been on my side through thick or him, and always will be.  He reminds me that my pain is important because it bothers me, and what bothers me, bothers Him.  Because He loves me so much, He even knows each hair on my head, and collects each tear I cry!

Pain may be wanting to be heard above all,  but first and foremost God hears my heart.

I need to remember to keep it in its place as a temporary part of me  and limit how it tries to affect my whole person.

I want my voice to be known heard shouting His praise, not giving undue voice to my pain.

God takes me beyond beyond, to quote Priscilla Shirer. He blesses us beyond what we can hope or imagine, for He is so big & beyond what we can even comprehend, He is beyond beyond!

I am pressing in & claiming verses like the one below on the days where I need to put pain in its place:
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May He take you beyond beyond in whatever you are facing today too. All things are possible in Him!

soul custody

Karla Lees

Our souls were never designed to be in the tug of war battles we find ourselves in.

They were designed
to be pursued by One
and pursue only One.

And ever since that lie
in the Garden
where perfect oneness
had existed between man, woman & God
the enemy has continued
to speak poison to our souls

You are not worth it
God isn’t enough
no one loves you
why bother
give up
stop trying
you aren’t special

And we tie up our resources trying to soothe our souls from the effects of believing those lies:
overeating
undereating
addictions: sex, shopping, porn, alcohol, gambling, drugs

When we fail to get to the roots of what is growing in our souls, which is evident from the fruit we produce, the poison continues to mutate and grow stronger as it increases in strength.

Our souls were never meant to be soil for the enemy. We were not designed to be his playground.

We were meant for oh so much more.

God designed us to hear His voice, in response to a longing we may have difficulty putting into words, but exists regardless.

That deep down heart’s cry desire to be known.
But not just known:
Accepted.
Adored.
Appreciated.

We long to connect at the core of who we are to the One who created us with this God sized vacuum only He can fill.

When we settle for less than the best for our souls, they will go along for a while off road, but the road starts getting bumpier, muddier and further away from where we thought we should be.

Our soul cries out for sole custody in our Maker’s care.

The battle for our souls has been being wager since that lie was spoken, enticing Eve & Adam to want more than they already had.

What God had spoken of as not just good, but very good.

The same God who walked alongside them in the Garden wants to walk beside you.

Not only does He offer Himself as your escort, He offers to set you free from the lies and pain that affects your soul. He came not only to tell us He loved us, but show us just how much He does as well.

If you are showing the signs of an inner battle being waged, and are tired of fighting on your own, please know God is waiting for you to say the word.
Help.

And He will come, this Father who is longing to adopt us into His forever family, heal us, give us our freedom, and pour out His love into our battered, weary souls.

We were designed for sole custody.

Let Him be all He was meant to be for you: mind, body, spirit, soul.

Life as you know it will change, when your soul begins to become whole and find its resting place, its true home in Him.

The only holding up this custody battle is the child in question.

God has already won the ultimate battle, and the enemy knows it.

Don’t let him win.

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scarred

Karla Lees

God’s proof of love for us is found in the scarred hands of Jesus.

@1Tim6_11Men tweet

I often try to hide my scars.
Some of them are physical, many are emotional.

We tend to hide what we don’t want people to see in us during first impressions. Especially if we really like the person we are with.

We hide under bulky clothing, hair over our face, makeup, shrinking so we don’t seem as tall.

Because we may be scarred from the words of those we encountered before…who wounded instead of accepting us for who we are.

Imperfect creations of the perfect Creator.

We have fallen into the world’s belief that scars mar the goods and make them worthless.

I disagree.

Jesus’ hands and side might have marred Him physically, and wounded Him on all levels, but they didn’t make Him worthless.

Quite the opposite.

They expressed just how much He valued us, those scars.

Each welt- an I love you demonstrated for all to see.

Each thorn- a reminder of His purpose, to set us free.

Each piercing- overwhelming His heart with His plan, our redemption.

I find it fascinating that when Jesus rose again, His hands & feet still bear the scars of His sacrifice.

Scars meant for destruction became declarations of freedom.

I have a few scars.
Literally.
Figuratively.

Some I continue to try and hide away, but i no longer have the same sense of fear to keep them hidden.

I am waiting for His timing, and His loving words to draw me in, to touch my scars and make them beautiful with hope and possibility.

Where Love sees the whole person, not the marring of their scars.

One day, I will see His beautiful scars up close. An eternal reminder of how much He loves each and every one of us…enough to inscribe us in the palm of His hands.

I believe He will see me as the pure spotless bride He calls me to be, scars, flaws and all.

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Scars remind us to never forget: where we came from, and who is bringing us Home.

His scars? that Jesus will never forget us, nor does He want to.

Scars are part of His plan.

signs

Karla Lees

There will always be signs telling you the way in which to go or how things are.

This way, that way, even signs leading to harm, or death.

There are signs the earth leaves behind as it groans for relief from the stress we placed upon it:
natural disasters & their aftermath
habitat changes
animal extinction
environmental shifts in weather & seasons

The signs that humanity is not satisfied with what it has, and wants more:
wars
slavery
debt
markets crashes
pillaging
theft
rape
slaughter
exodus to a new land

Signs closer to home, reminding us of the chaos outside, and sometimes inside our homes, communities, cities:

Sale signs
Traffic signs
Construction signs
Street signs
Voting signs
Signs of broken homes
Looking for work signs
Signs looking for help
Ads for the newest flavored need to own

Just because we see the signs doesn’t mean we are to follow them.

We may be like sheep, but we have a shepherd who is leading us on a straight and narrow path with confidence and purpose.

The signs there is a hurting world out there needing a loving hand to bind its hurt, and a living Savior to heal its brokenness, is part of our mandate.

Helping the orphans, feeding the poor, praying for the sick, clothing the naked, sheltering the homeless, loving the lonely. (Matthew 25:31-46)

This is the sign that Jesus is in us, in our midst:
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Our appearance will never shine anywhere near the voltage of Jesus shining through our actions.

The signs we are to look for?

Not the ones the world is shouting out to our ears & eyes, but the still small voice we need to press close to hear, who will prompt us to see the signs He wants us to minister to, as His hands and feet.

So if like me, you are in voting season, looking for work or hiring staff, remember to look for these signs in your candidates/potential workers/bosses:
1. who they are listening to
2. how they speak about others
3. what they stand for

If the answers to these questions reveal selfish, power hungry or disrespectful signs, they are not a person you should be signing over the position to or working under.

Signs to look for:
servanthood
long term commitment
integrity
teachable
humility
investment in the team & community

These are the signs of the Kingdom, whether people know the King over them or not.

These are the signs Jesus wants us to look for, to coax out from within one another, to shine with as He did while He was here in earth.

There will always be chaos, disaster cries, hurting hearts, and loud voices clamoring for attention.

The sign we are His?

Showing His glory through His handiwork to those who don’t yet know Him, but long for His touch inside.

And your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, “This is the way, walk in it,” when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left.

Isaiah 30:21

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.

John 16:33

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

John 14:27

unfixed

Karla Lees

I’m unfixed. And the truth is, that’s where God meets me – in the mess of my life, in the unfixedness, in the brokenness.

Mike Yaconelli

I am broken.
and I know it.

I need putting back together again
from my long fall off the wall
I hid behind for so long.

Parts of me have shattered
almost completely.

It is a major undertaking to proceed
with my reconstruction,
renovation,
being put back together again.

But God, He is up for the task.

You see,
much of what was broken
needed to be smashed
so He can replace the faulty parts
(the old movie reels, the self sufficiency, pride, the desire to be in control)
with updated top of the line ones, that depend on His strength
to fuel them (faith, hope, joy, love, grace, mercy, kindness, forgiveness, patience)

There was some faulty wiring
needing to be ripped out
so He could reconnect the proper
thought processes
and reattach me to His Spirit
for instant notifications.
They may require quiet and concentration to hear them,
but this part of the rebuild
is critical before the next step.

A new heart.
One that will beat with His heart.
In tune with how He is feeling,
sensing His compassion for those around me,
His love for them, and me.

Open heart surgery that cuts away into our very soul.
Enabling the spirit within, that eternal precious spark in each of His children, to shine through us once again.

This season of brokenness
has been very humbling,
deeply painful,
yet
tremendously hope building
at the same time.

You see,
God isn’t finished with me yet.

His goal is to make me,
shape me,
build me,
put me back together
to be the me He designed me to be.

My goal is to not get in His way,
and give Him free reign.

There is a beauty to be found in allowing God to touch us in these places of brokenness.

Somehow His glory is revealed more clearly when we are broken for His purposes.

The enemy may try to play havoc with your life.

Stop listening to his depressing lies.

God IS in control,
even when you can’t see it.
He will restore,
even when you can’t feel it.
He will never leave you,
even when you can’t sense Him.

If you, like me, are in this period of brokenness beyond anything you can imagine, take comfort in knowing God knows what the end result is He desires to see us become.

He will fix us up,
put us back together again,
and be with us
every step of the way.

We don’t need to fear being broken
when we know God is in control.
His plans will come to pass
in our lives
when we allow Him to be our
strength & guide.

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look up

Karla Lees

When I feel low, its usually because I have taken my eyes off of God.

When God is in His proper place, and I acknowledge how big, strong, mighty my God is, I can’t help but look up to Him.

Focusing on the problem makes it block out my view of God. It doesn’t mean God is not in the picture.

I was at a training course, where the teacher shared a part of someone else’s story.  A young man was crying out to God in a drug trip to reveal Himself. All the man saw was a tiny distraction, which led him down a tormented path for years.

When he finally went for healing and freedom, he asked God to reveal where He had been in the room at that exact moment.

God did.  He completely filled the room.

We can miss the bigger picture and how big our God is (as far as our finite minds can grasp an infinite God) when we narrow our focus.

When we limit our vision to what we think we should see, instead of seeing whatever God wants us to see.

Himself, reigning over all, no matter what we see going on around us.

We serve the one and only God, who is seated on His throne:
the Creator of all we can see on our earth, in our universe, and beyond.
the Savior of all people, who has never and will never stop reaching out his arms to them, us.
the Healer of all brokenness and wounds within us.
the Provider of all good gifts
the Guide who shares all wisdom, knowledge and discernment to all who seek and ask
the King who reigns forever and ever
and so much more!!!

In light of who He is, we need to remember He is greater than all we will come across:

The enemy who is being and will be defeated.
Those who hate and harm us.
Painful situations caused by sin & selfishness.
All disease, mental illness & sickness.
Losses and grief.
Broken hearts.

Today, I am reminded anew to lift my eyes up, and keep them focused on God, not how I may be feeling.

I will look up.
I will proclaim God reigns over everything happening in my life.
I will choose to put my hope in the One who gave so much for me.

Its never too late to look up.

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broken

Karla Lees

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

You hear the cry of the broken… You hear the cry of the broken. You answer the cry of the broken…You answer the cry of the broken.

-Darlene Zschech

I hit broken again this Tuesday.

I was out of the blue suddenly whammied kind of hurt in a very unexpected, deep way by someone I absolutely adore.

And it broke me in a way I didn’t expect.

I was so hurt, I could barely speak. Since my throat had been bugging me over the past while, I don’t think anyone noticed.

God did.

He knew the crying that was surging with every painful heart beat on the inside.

He knew it was hard to breathe, let alone avoiding breaking down.

How crushed I felt in my soul.

And in the middle of that broken, hurting place, He met me.

I picked up my guitar, and offered genuine praise despite my heavy brokenness. He listened.

I shared briefly with a few friends, and asked them to pray. He listened.

My silence spoke louder than I realized, for the person later the next day contacted me to share what had been really going on on their inside, which had nothing to do with me. They apologized for venting, and relationship was restored.

There are times when the risk to love deeply means we will be cut deeply by those we love.

But love is always worth it.

Jesus is the best example of that kind of love.

He loved us so much, He willingly enfolded Himself into human form, and loved among us. He was rejected by many He loved, hurt by betrayal, left alone. His body was battered and broken, because of His love.

The pain must have cut Jesus deeply.
The coming reward must have been enough to help Him stay focused on the plan, not His pain.

Abraham, offering his son of promise, Issac, to the God who gave Him the promise & that miracle son, would have been a broken man as he made the preparations in obedience to hearing God’s voice.

God as Father did nothing less with us as He let Jesus die on the cross. A broken hearted Father, watching His son broken for the sins of the world.

The broken are precious to God.
He never leaves us in our brokenness. Instead, He loves us into who He designed us to be.

Whole.
Wholly loved.
Treasured.
Beloved.

Being broken was never meant to be a permanent state of being, but only a temporary stop in your life.

Don’t miss out on what God has for you and who He has for you to be because you cannot see beyond your brokenness.

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come out of hiding

Karla Lees

You were strong enough to survive the real trauma. You’re strong enough to let God bring you through the healing too.

#TheMercifulScar

Many of us wear our trauma like a wrap. Tightly wound, seemingly to protect us from more hurt, wound, pain.

The wrapping instead begins to strangle our emotions, keeping the wounds from healing, slowly sucking the vitality out of our lives.

But you survived.

The other mechanism you used, self protection, was never designed for long term use. It is meant to be used to survive the trauma at hand, and then we need to take the situation to God. For Him to heal us, help us forgive, to find release in speaking the truth, and restore us. To be made whole again, left only with the scars.

Many of us stay in that wrapped protective state way too long, because we fail to recognize the first step.

We cannot be healed until we let go.

As someone who has had her fair, or unfair, share of hard knocks, I get it.

It is hard work unraveling the tight wrapping that has been holding us together.

The freedom, however, on the other side, is so worth it.

If you are tired of staying in that holding place between your wounding and His healing, you must take the step towards God.

Removing your need to control what will happen next in a leap of faith.

His merciful arms are waiting to catch you, hold you up, comfort you, guide you.

Open wounds become scars that fade in their intensity over time once God heals them.

If you survived the wounding, you will survive their healing.

From the loving hands waiting for you to come.

come back to life

Karla Lees

Let everything bad escape and take the pain with it so you can come back to life.

#TheMercifulScar

I have found that God is truly the only way to leave my past behind, in its icky pain hurt loss filled entirety.

It is one thing to share your hurt with another person, as there is great value in companionship, being heard and receiving love.

Its another thing to bring it to God, who already knew everything in its entirety because He was there at each pain filled moment, and knows how to release and free us from it.

Permanently.

Eternally.

The cool thing after God sets you free? You can go back to your history, recall it and remember it without the emotional baggage soundtrack pushing your buttons.
The fact it happened to you doesn’t change, but you are not stuck in the memory reels on constant rewind, stirring up all the pain hurt frustration anger as it used to every time you tried to revisit.

That is true freedom from a nasty memory.

If you are anything like me, you too may have a tractor trailer filled with pain, regrets, memories you allow to trail behind you, sapping your joy and strength in the now.

But you don’t need to take it with you anymore.

God is waiting to unhitch your baggage from you. He is the key to your freedom.

How do I know?

I have left abandonment, rejection, molestation, rape, self injury, verbal abuse, bullying, labelling, betrayal and intense grief behind me.

How?

God set me free.

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(Image from: http://www.womenshealthmag.com/files/wh6_uploads/images/1310-unlock-past-art.jpg)

Who Jesus sets free is truly free. (John 8:36)

As the Message version puts it, free through and through.

Your mind becomes free to think about current and future things.
Your body becomes free to release its physical stresses.
Your heart is free to love with abandon, no holding back.
You are able to forgive, freeing yourself from what you did and what was done to you.
You are made new.

There are many different tools God uses to set His beloved ones free.

Theophostic and Sozo are the two types of counseling that I have been led through where God led the pathway to freedom through listening, caring believers.

Don’t wait to be set free.

Start your new life today by taking a step away from your past towards God.

He is waiting to break the chains that are harming you and holding you back from all He has for you:

“I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out––plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. When you call on me, when you come and pray to me, I’ll listen. When you come looking for me, you’ll find me. Yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else.”

Jer 29:11-13 (Message)

cry

Karla Lees

My soul chose that moment to do something it hadn’t done in longer ago than I could remember. It began to cry.

#TheMercifulScar

I am not known as a crier.
In fact, I am mostly cheerful and pleasant to be around.

But every so often, when I have let my emotions and stresses build up for too long, I find myself close to tears.

Sometimes I give in to them, and I have a good cry. And I tend to feel a bit better afterwards by releasing my emotion through those tears.

Occasionally, I have a hard awful gut wrenching wail, usually with an unexpected passing of a loved one.

What does God think of tears? Specifically, my tears?

You would figure that busy as He is, there might be more important things on His mind…until one reads this verse:

Psalm 56:8 (MSG) You’ve kept track of my every toss and turn through the sleepless nights, Each tear entered in your ledger, each ache written in your book.

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(Image by:Republic of You-Tears & Fragility, Pinterest)

Really, God? You know each night we/i have had a hard time sleeping? You make a note for each tear we/i cry, each pain we/i endure?

Wow.

God truly is involved aware of every aspect of our lives.

But He waits for you, and me, to invite Him to converse with Him…about anything and everything.

The Bible is full of people who brought their concerns to God- fear of bring murdered, barren. Those who felt alone, deep loss, intense pain or in bondage. Needing healing, hungry, even to pay their taxes.

God met them in those conversations.

He already knows what is going on, in fact God really knows everything, including intentions.

He knows your husband just broke your heart.

He gets that money is getting really tight, because you are still waiting for work, or more work.

He understands when you feel like you can’t take anymore.

He sees when you are sobbing because you suddenly just lost the person who most got you on earth, and you didn’t make the time to tell them how much you loved and appreciated them before they passed.

Each aspect of our lives has value to God.

Because HE values US.

There is nothing you can do that will make Him stop loving you. He may not like your behavior, but He will ALWAYS love you.

Jesus died for you, out of forever love.

He wants to spend eternity WITH us.

Wow.

And the Bible also says in Revelation 21:3-4:
I heard a voice thunder from the Throne: “Look! Look! God has moved into the neighborhood, making his home with men and women! They’re his people, he’s their God. He’ll wipe every tear from their eyes. Death is gone for good—tears gone, crying gone, pain gone—all the first order of things gone.”

There are good times coming.

Try to keep that promise in mind next time you have a cry in the moment.

It is just a moment, or a few strung together compared to the eternity awaiting us.

That thought is almost overwhelming enough to make me cry…