Sunday Psalm: in the depths

In the depths
where we hide our hearts
the deep cries are made

In the heights
of Heaven
Your tears at our plight
were great

For You so loved us all
You decided to send
part of Yourself
to meet our need
with the gift of Your son
merged with our DNA

Such depth to Your love

That very same babe
free to be a Rabbi of renown
who spread Your Words of love
as He walked through our towns
speaking peace to our hearts
and life into our hidden places

No matter to You
was too large or too small
You touched each of us
with the greatest Love of all

Such depth to Your Love

Never ending
Your love will go on and on
Forever
Your heart will beat for me
Drawing me out
from where I’ve hidden away
into Your embrace
which restores each day

Such depth to Your Love!

#SundayPsalm

image

disappointment

image

It’s still there.

That disappointment you have been trying to avoid bringing into the light.

Thinking that if you don’t look at it, it won’t hurt as much. 

Harbouring our hurts only deepens them.

I have struggled with many disappointments over the years, and I have discovered the truth: each disappointment is the opportunity for a divine appointment.

Have you been praying for something you hold dear, and it hasn’t happened yet?

Did someone you love let you down, again?

Has it been x number of years since your last raise?

Did you get passed over for promotion?

Has your significant other broken up with you?

Did your loved one die even though you had been praying for their healing?

Have your womb and arms remained empty despite your petitions?

Last night, He reminded me in my LifeGroup that what matters to us, matters to Him.

Money has been tight for the past few years. Surgeries & schooling, unexpected car repairs & time off work without any raises can leave you frustrated.  I had been praying for increase, however God wants to bless us with it, and not seen almost any fruit in quite some time. All our needs are covered, except my desire to be debt free.

We were invited to pray what was on our hearts during LifeGroup, and as I had already stepped our on Sunday to ask people to join me in praying for something related but equally important, I decided to not speak up about that need, and my disappointment it hasn’t yet come to pass.

Imagine my shock when God prophetically spoke that exact request through the leader a few moments later.  Increase is coming.

God has a way of reminding us we can always bring what is bothering us to Him, doesn’t He?

He has never informed me that what was on my heart was insignificant when I brought it before Him.

He has always welcomed me with open arms, heard me out and loved up on me wherever I was at.  Whether I share my joys, pain, hurts, grief, or blessings.

Every disappointment I experience can lead to my experiencing God in a deeper way, if I not only bring it to Him, but give it to Him.

I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for. Jeremiah 29:11 MSG

Come near to God and He will come near to you. James 4:8

And when we do?

He meets us there.

We experience divine appointment in exchange for our disappointment.

As I stop typing and move on to spending some time with Him this morning, I will close by leaving you with one of my favorite passages to claim when I am struggling with loss or disappointment, when the road ahead is unclear.

May He meet you right where your disappointments are, as you bring them into the light of His Presence. May He comfort & strengthen you too, as you draw near, and remind you of the blessings He has in store for you.

Psalm 23 (MSG)
The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely Your goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
forever.

called back to life

Peter denied Jesus three times…

And Peter remembered the saying of Jesus, “Before the rooster crows, you will deny me three times.” And he went out and wept bitterly.

Matthew 26:69-75

In these verses, God gives us a glimpse both into His heart & the heart of man.

Jesus knew Peter would deny Him.  Peter rejected Jesus’ Word of knowledge, yet it came to pass when the going got rough.

Jesus also knew what He was going to do to uproot the damage Peter did within himself with the three denials. Even before Peter denied Him.

When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him,“Feed my lambs.” He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?”He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep.

John 21:15-17

Three times, one for each denial, Jesus reassures Peter of his call.  He will be the rock in which Jesus built His church, even though in that moment he is just a blubbering mess of brokenness.

Because we too are a wreck when God speaks into those painful places where we have denied our wrong doing, didn’t need His warning and were devastated by the results.

I want to reassure you today, Beloved.

Each time you strayed, your Shepherd not only has His eyes in You, He knows how to best help you return to the fold of His embrace.

He gets that we sometimes make decisions based upon fear, as Peter did. 

In the heat of the moment, one of his closest friends having been ripped from his company  Peter reacted on instinct instead of trusting in His plan, in His Words.

I’ve been there. Often. 

Yet His love continues to speak health and life back into my life, and make me whole as He cleans up my messes. Just as He did for Peter.

God restores us, Beloved. He doesn’t just forgive us.  He makes us better than we were before. He makes us whole though His holiness, love, and mercy.

I believe Peter was so changed and emboldened after Jesus spoke those reassuring Words into his heart & Spirit.

Peter became that very rock Jesus saw waiting to be called out from under the rubble of his life.

These verses gives me hope for when I know I’ve blown it!

God knows us so well, Beloved. May we rest in knowing He will restore us in every area we turn over into His waiting hands. Allow Him to speak you to life again.

image

break the yolk

Yesterday, during worship, I had an encounter with God that shook me.

Literally & figuratively.

I have a few physical issues that have been bothering me, some of them long years of discomfort.

But i had a sense in that split second that although my physical issues are a big deal to me, there was something i needed to be set free from in my spirit. A foothold the enemy had been clinging onto, holding me back.

So when the call came to approach His throne and seek what He had for us in that moment, on that day- I answered, and obeyed His prompting.

I don’t remember much of what was spoken over me, because I had a warm but not fiery heat hit from the top of my head to the soles of my feet, and a weight of awesomeness fall.  Its pretty hard to describe, but my senses were completely awakened and captivated by Him. All i wanted to do was to worship in His Presence with every fibre of my being.

What my mind recalls of what was spoken over me? The very answer to what my spirit had been longing for, but I had not known i needed so desperately until i heard His declaration:

The anointing is soaking in to cover my all, from the top of my head to the bottoms of my feet.

The yoke of slavery is broken.

Freedom of body, freedom of mind, freedom of spirit.

Nothing missing, nothing broken.

I am no longer under the heavy yoke of the enemy, but am one with my God, moving forward together in the freedom He paid so dearly to gain for us, for me.

For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Matthew 11:30 (ESV)

I felt something come to life within me after that time of worship.

I believe out of His great love, He can do the same for each of us.

Its time to wipe the yolk of the enemy off of our face, break free from his yoke, and stand firm in the position and calling God has for us.

No more shame, no more bondage, no more addiction, no more false guilt, no more hiding.

I want all He has for me.

He wants the same for us.

I believe inside each of us is that same longing, desire to be made whole.

When we stand at His side fully submitted to Him, the enemy will not be able to regain his footing in our lives.

The yokes he tried to place upon us will remain on his shoulders.

For we know Who wins in the end.

The yolk’s on him.

 

broken to life

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By his wounds you have been healed. 1 Peter 2:24 ESV

Jesus died for the broken.

Those who were broken in ways beyond just what can seen:

  • broken in spirit
  • broken-hearted
  • broken in the mind,
  • broken in body.

But also for those who are:

  • broken because of their sin.

I find the weight of my own sin can sometimes break me in ways i never expected.

Selfishness can lead to isolation and loneliness, and down the path to choosing more things which keep that spiral of me swirling down and out of control.

And i need to be reminded: Jesus came for the broken.

There is one more type of broken that Jesus covered with His brokenness:

  • those who need taming

The strong willed ones (like moi) who need to be broken in order to submit.

We all are broken, or need to be broken depending on the circumstances.

  • I tend to find other people’s sins towards me break me
  • I need to be broken based on my own sins & bad choices

That is why Jesus died so painfully on the cross.

He chose to be broken so He can bring hope to the broken, no matter what has broken us.

He chose to rise again to show He can bring life to the dead, the places within us we think are beyond hope, beyond healing.

He chose to die so we could live.

Because it is He who brings us back to life.

Our part?

To come with our brokenness and sin, and ask for His help.

His part?

The part He loves?

  • To answer our cry.
  • To touch us with His hands.
  • To infuse us with his love.
  • To rebirth life into our dry bones.
  • To make us new in ways we could not imagine on the other side of our brokenness.
  • To give wings to our hope.

Ready for new life? 

It doesn’t matter if  or how you are broken, the Master Carpenter is more than able to take our broken pieces and make us anew!

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18

7734283980_40f5ae1743_b

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

lining up where I shouldn’t

Don’t compare yourself to others. Compare yourself only to the person you were yesterday. @toddclark

The comparison trap will cause me to believe what I see, and forget what I know. Beth Kinder  www.strongholdthebook.com

I have a problem with my mirror. Maybe you can relate.

My mirror doesn’t show just my reflection, but lines me up beside others I compare myself to, every time i approach it.

In fact, I can’t remember a time besides my wedding day, that i looked in the mirror and just saw me.

Until yesterday.

I decided after having some fun with matching my red undertones for an all over foxy red these past eight months to head back to my roots.  Which are a dirty blonde with i suspect a few streaks of grey.  I am trying to simplify my life, and fussing with hair dye every time my roots show is too high maintenance for me (but that is me, if you can do it, bless you!)

After my daughter helped get all the dye on, i realized that as I was looking in the mirror, I was wondering what people would think if the grey starts coming in as I let my hair go natural.

Then i thought of a few women i know who always have perfect coiffed hair, as my nana would say.  Without a hair out of place.

And as my mind began to wander down that path, this time i caught myself, as i reminded myself of a quote that came to mind:

Not my circus, not my monkeys.

I don’t need to worry or compare myself to others, because let’s face it, everybody is struggling with something.  Just because it can’t be seen on the outside, doesn’t mean it isn’t there on the inside.

I am tired of judging myself by people’s standards, and lining their opinions up beside me in the mirror.

I choose His standard for me, which is Jesus.

I choose His design for me, which is unique.

I matter to Him, because of His timely & costly investment in me.

I don’t have to compare myself to anyone, but rather I choose listen to His heart for me, which is to live free & close to Him.  I choose to change the things He is most concerned about uprooting from me, and embrace the newness He has waiting for me.

Quite frankly, my hair color, or my extra weight, or my freckles, or my naked nails are between God & me.

Stop allowing the enemy to invite other people into the conversation God wants to have with you alone.

It was quite a jolt to my mind to realize where my thoughts naturally start to wander.

And they wandered back to a particularly hurtful grade 7 classmate, who embarrassed me in front of the whole class through her writing about me. Which I believed has been fully dealt with, not!

God reminded me today that the reason there was still an entry point for the enemy was due to my harboring unforgiveness, and shared with me that the person wasn’t trying to be deliberately cruel as it came across, but was very insecure & jealous and was trying to knock me out of competition for our mutual friend’s affection.

By my not forgiving her as a person, but just the action, I allowed a piece of the root to remain, and the enemy has been nurturing it to grow down deep over the years.

I am so done with that!

So i pray,

“God, I fully and completely forgive S___________. I believe Your blood is more than enough to forgive all my sins, and I extend the same mercy to her that You extended to me. Full & utter forgiveness in Jesus’ mighty name.  Wherever she is, I ask You to release Your Spirit to whisper the truths You long for her to hear into her mind, heart & spirit.  I ask You to restore to me the joy I had in being myself, in embracing who You designed & called me to be.  Uproot the enemy plant You have just destroyed, and release a fresh sense of Your wholeness and peace where it used to live.  May I ever delight in hearing Your words spoken over me. May I ever trust in You as the Lover of my Soul.  May i never lose the wonder of knowing how much YOU delight in ME. May I continually bring the things which are breaking me down & place them into Your hands for You to build me up. Where the enemy played for harm, restore Your goodness & purpose in my life.  Blessed be the Lord!  I pray this as one of Your beloved, Abba.  In Jesus’ name, and Holy Spirit power. Amen.”

Instead of letting ourselves see just our outer beauty, let’s join God in seeing His hand & move in our lives.  As children of the King, as the beloved bride of God, let’s allow the Lion of Judah to arise within, and move forward in the confidence of who we really are.

self-improvement

No matter what we look like its who we are inside that truly counts.

His handiwork.

His child.

His delight,

His beloved.

His!

there can only be One

There can only be One.

We may think that there are more, we may even deceive ourselves that we are it.

But what the world screams the loudest is usually fueled by the enemy, the one who tries to counterfeit the Original, isn’t it?

At the center of humanity’s inability to get along is the lie that we know best. That we are capable of knowing what is best for other people, how they should live, whether they should have a certain job or not, whether they should be a part of the in group or left to the outskirts.

In these ways, and so many more, we judge one another.

But not only do we judge one another on what we think is best for each other, we judge them on what they have done wrong, as if we have never failed or sinned ourselves.

Humanity was never designed to be its own judge.

That role belongs to the Only One who is capable of administering it.

The Only One who has not fallen or sinned or made an error of any kind.

The Only One who was, and is, and ever will be the best for that position.

The Only One who is perfectly suited to judge, because He is perfect.

And He created the system of right and wrong, simply through being Himself.

Not only is He perfect, He is loving, kind, merciful…and eternal.

He is beyond time, this Judge, and so is not swayed by the urgency we have to resolved things in the here and right now.

He is also patient, and with the best purpose behind being so…

God does not want any to perish, and as such, has postponed His judgment until Jesus returns, because Jesus paid the price which allows God to pass over us until that time to come arrives.

When we try to judge one another, we hurt Him.

When we refuse to forgive, and lay down our offenses, we hurt ourselves, the Ones He loves, and muddle up our relationships with those He loves.

And when we judge, withhold forgiveness and hurt those around us?

We join Pilate on the Judgment seat.

We were never meant to judge one another.  God allowed the Israelites to have kings, and governments, full well knowing that it would entangle humanity  into the judgment debate…where before it had only been God’s way, with God as judge.  He knew the enemy wanted this, to turn us against one another.

But God wasn’t surprised, not unprepared for the cost to come to restore proper balance.

Here’s the clincher.

There is Only One judge.

God.

I am not talking about someone judging your work to be substandard because you didn’t put in your best effort kind of judgment here.

I am talking judging over those He created, judging their hearts, their decisions and motives.

Just as Jet Li had to battle his evil duplicate in the classic sci-fi movie “The One”, we have to wrestle down the enemy duplicate of who we are meant to be.

God made each of us uniquely,. and we reflect Him in our only One-ness.

It is time to kick the fake you image the enemy is prompting your flesh to put on back to the pit where it was made for.

In order to  be His hands to the world, our focus is to leave His fingerprints behind, no one else’s.

That means when you are tempted to judge someone over their situation, you ask God how to pray and love up on them instead.

This means we take a good hard long look in the mirrored windows of our own homes before throwing stones at the glass houses of others.

It means we deal with our hearts, decisions and motives on our knees before the Only One qualified to judge us, versus placing blame and deflecting through our judgment.

I soooo get this isn’t a nice soft word today…the mirror in front of me is screaming for me to get clean again.

I am so thankful I can ask Jesus to clean me and make me anew every evening, and every morning, because of what He did for us all on the cross, because He alone has the power to resurrect the dead & restore the broken, and Only he was ever meant to judge us.

I am so thankful His grip will not let go of me, until less of me and more of He is what the world will see.

tumblr_muirla0hek1rs4ia2o1_500

when you feel like wavering

This week, I took a blow to the body when an unexpected patch of ice literally knocked me fault on my back.

I apparently took a blow to the head in that slip.

That first night while dreaming in vivid colour, the enemy tried to knock me out in my dreams.

I arose in His strength from all those blows.

The one I didn’t see coming arrived yesterday. Not quite enough in this week’s cheques to cover our usual expenses, and “now I have been off work 2 days and likely will be 4 so how is this gonna work Lord?”

That blow to my faith was a little unexpected, but it shouldn’t have been.

The enemy is not a fair fighter. He likes to kick us when we are down.

My God is more than a match for him.

If Jesus could die, and rise from the grave victorious after confronting the enemy, if He is is with me and I am sinking into His strength vs the depressing circumstances around me, I will rise.

My faith doesn’t need to waver, for the God I trust in never does.

He caused my coworkers to rally around me, and i have had the best care.

My family has taken extra good care of me (not that they usually don’t, but they’ve amped it to that extra special care you give someone who is unwell kind of pampering).

And God?

Despite not having the head space to dive into the Word as usual, or be online like I am used to, I have a core of peace I have not quite known before.

He is with me.

Causing my body to relax its tense muscles, my auto clock to be reset as I need more sleep than usual.

As I usually have worship music on at home, He has been reminding me of His rhythm in the silence, one I never noticed before.

Rest is restorative for the whole person.

And I am being rebuilt somehow through this accidental fall, more wholly as He has intended.

All things work together for His good.

God did not cause my fall, but He is causing it to become part of the tapestry of wholeness He is constantly weaving about and within me.

All things work together for those in Christ Jesus.

I can rest easy, knowing this season, right now, I am to fully rest in His hands.

Being able to let go of what I normally do, and allow Him to expand me beyond my normal into the beyond He has waiting for me as my trust deepens.

All things work together for those who love You.

Jesus, today I say it again, but I am all in. All of me, offered to all of You. Such as i am, with all my love, Jesus.

And You remind me, over and over, but again today, You are always more than enough!

Your mercy is new and fresh and mine.

Your love for me goes on and on and on and never fades.

And last but not the least for today…Your rest extends peaceful hands as You lead me by still waters.

image

resting declares freedom

Resting is a declaration of freedom. -Kerri Weems

We are meant to wield our rest.

Rest is not the lack of action, but a weapon to choose.

Our choice not to act is in fact an action.

When we fail to choose rest, we find ourselves ever increasingly exhausted, stressed out and not focused on God.  We become trapped on the world’s running wheel,  at a pace we were never designed for.  We become captive to the action of go, through our lack of understanding in just how much of a blessing to us rest actually is.

The bottom line is this….if God Himself rested after a busy week, why do we think we can keep going? The Maker of the Universes & all that is in them needs to nap, but His creations don’t?  Everything God created has seasons of planting, growth, pruning, harvesting and last but not least: resting.

When we deliberately choose to rest, we free ourselves from the enemy’s mindset that we have no other choice but to stay in the whirlwind of busyness.   In answering His invitation, we find His rest, true restorative rest deep within begins to seep into our mind, body and spirit:

Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to Me. Get away with Me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with Me and work with Me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with Me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly. – Jesus, in Matthew 11:28-30

In choosing to go to Jesus, and choose rest, God not only restores us, but gives us the weapon we can use to protect ourselves from the enemy: deliberate choice to sit at His feet, and rest there.

In His Presence, we learn to unwind, de-stress, listen to His voice,  and follow His graceful leading.  When we stay resting in Him, we keep free, and our spirits remain refreshed.

Rest is not only about sleeping, but the laying down of ourselves before Him, allowing Him to fill us with His love, peace, joy, hope.

We find our true selves at His feet.

We find the refuge, the shelter, the safe place, our true Home in Him.  Where we can fully become the “us” He designed us to be, and be released to live the life God intended for us!

The enemy knows that if we draw close to Him, he will have less access to us.

If we keep His words in our minds, and live our lives in His flow for us, the enemy has less of a battleground to attack us from.

For when we rest in Him, we are drawn into the wide open fields of freedom God has for us, like a bird released from its cage who immediately heads to the currents of wind where she was meant to soar.

Like Mary, we were meant to let go of what the world tells us we must do, and choose the best yes by remaining at Jesus’ feet.

Now before you start complaining nothing will ever get done if i do that (been there, thought that!), let me tell you that somehow in the design of time, spending the time in rest with God seems to make me more productive.  My purpose for the moment seems clearer, and i get more done in less time with less errors or distractions.  I am less stressed out when emergencies pop up, and keep my cool way longer than i am capable of naturally!

I don’t get it, but i don’t have to! I just need to choose to grab hold of rest, and wield it as He leads me to use it!  When I seem headed back onto the never-ending to-do treadmill, prompt me early God to use the rest You have given me to break the tentacles of busyness and stress from reattaching themselves to me.

Lord, may we pick up rest  today, and use it as You lead us to in the coming moments, hours, days.  Because of Your actions on the cross, You declare us free, and desire for us to stay free in You.  Help us to draw close, lay our burdens and to do lists before You. May we pick back up that which You desire for us to complete each day, and may we never stray far from Your voice as we live out the purpose for which You called us.  May our preoccupation ever be Jesus!

restisaweapon

dirty to clean

We don’t contaminate Christ with our brokenness, He makes us clean through His glorious presence!  Sheila Walsh

I confessed yesterday that I love the story of Cinderella, which i find to be a great allegory of the Kingdom.

I believe love is the central theme, around which brokenness, humility, ashes & grief swirled in an attempt of the enemy’s to snuff out the light shining in Ella.

Her position of beloved daughter was crushed by her cruel stepmother & harsh stepsisters.

Not content with making her their servant, they ridiculed her and made life even harder for her…naming her Cinderella, to remind her of her new position in the household, no longer daughter, but servant.

But the lessons Ella learned as a child at the feet of her loving father (and in the new Disney movie, her loving mother) lingered and refused to be completely snuffed out. Her kind nature and gentle manner were daily choices she made in response to the harsh circumstances she found herself in.

And when she couldn’t take anymore, grace stepped in and gifted her with revealing who she really was, despite her horrible living conditions.

A princess on the inside.

Worthy of the best, to wear the dress, to not only meet royalty but destined to become royal.

Fear rose up and caused her to flee, but her Beloved moved heaven and earth to find her, for she was His counterpart, and He would have no other.

He not only restored her dignity, but elevated her with His love. Her background did not matter except to highlight her true character.

She was meant to be His.

And so are you.

You too may feel like Cinderella, like you are too dirty from what is going on to approach your Prince. You nay be beaten down by harsh words, stuck in a job you’d rather not be working at, be on your own struggling, have difficult family to deal with, or feel dirty from the weight of bad choices or sin.

God doesn’t care where you have been. He is more than enough to set you free, clean you up, heal you inside and out, and make you His. His goodness is not muddied by our sin, just the opposite. His goodness chases the sin and grime away, until the real us is all He can see.

I have said it before, but i need to hear the reminder again myself:

I am a Princess in His eyes.

As Jesus is the Prince of Peace, the Son of the Most High God, the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords, then the Bride He is pursuing? He reminds her that her shoe, the design He has for her, will fit in His hands and with His love accompanying her, always.

When we become His, we all are changed in His site to the beautiful ball gowned princess. He clothes us in white, and sets us beside Him at His banquet feast, at the marriage celebration He is throwing to celebrate we are His!

Once we agree to be His, our past only serves to contrast where we are headed to with Him. It is to remind us how far we have come, and how much we need to stay in relationship with our Prince.

Our Prince is not slumming when He chooses His bride.

He made us so exquisitely, just so, each one of us. Together we make up His heart on the outside.
The Bride He has always longed for, hidden across time until he awakens us through His love.

The Prince not only rescued Cinderella from her old life, he completely set her free from it, into a new identity, her true identity.

He broke the chains that bound her, and released her into the freedom He had in store for her once he found her.

Jesus offers the same loving hand to us.

Like the Prince in Cinderella, He does not plan on stopping His pursuit of His bride, ever. Until she is complete, and 100% whole.

It is His love that brought her to life again. His love which freed her. His love wanting to cherish her. His love He desired to spend the rest of His life sharing with her.

It’s His life that will bring you to life again. His love which will free you. His love wanting to cherish you. His love He desires to spend the rest of His life sharing with you.

This love passionately & permanently moved heaven & earth to find you. His love will always triumph!

If He says the shoe fits, it does 🙂

And since He lives for eternity, what a happy ever after we have in store for us!

image