looking truth in the face

I faced a lifetime of looking the truth in the face before it had time to burrow under my skin.


It takes a lot to look the truth square on, and come to grips with it.

It is much easier for most of us to hide it away, and keep following the same old patterns we have become used to.

But that is a lie.

Not dealing with the truth costs us more in the long run.

By not facing it in the moment, we bury it within us. Making an opening for ourselves to escape into, a non reality for lack of a better word. An alternate truth to us, which we think we control, but in fact ends up controlling us.

Addictions, some forms of depression, suicide can all find their roots in the emotions we bury avoiding the truth.

What we bury, when it isn’t meant to be kept in, sends out tentacles to destroy us from the inside out.

Truth was meant to set us free.

Taking out what has been buried can be painful, but on the other side is a freedom we all long for.

I learned this the long way around. Digging up the past has opened up a future I never dreamed I would have.

I am the healthier, and the better for it.

Today could be your day to heal, make your wounds your scars, move forward, and live.

For truth is found in a person.

Who is more than able to help you find your freedom if you turn to Him and ask.

Its time to grow and be the you you were meant to be.

come out of hiding

You were strong enough to survive the real trauma. You’re strong enough to let God bring you through the healing too.


Many of us wear our trauma like a wrap. Tightly wound, seemingly to protect us from more hurt, wound, pain.

The wrapping instead begins to strangle our emotions, keeping the wounds from healing, slowly sucking the vitality out of our lives.

But you survived.

The other mechanism you used, self protection, was never designed for long term use. It is meant to be used to survive the trauma at hand, and then we need to take the situation to God. For Him to heal us, help us forgive, to find release in speaking the truth, and restore us. To be made whole again, left only with the scars.

Many of us stay in that wrapped protective state way too long, because we fail to recognize the first step.

We cannot be healed until we let go.

As someone who has had her fair, or unfair, share of hard knocks, I get it.

It is hard work unraveling the tight wrapping that has been holding us together.

The freedom, however, on the other side, is so worth it.

If you are tired of staying in that holding place between your wounding and His healing, you must take the step towards God.

Removing your need to control what will happen next in a leap of faith.

His merciful arms are waiting to catch you, hold you up, comfort you, guide you.

Open wounds become scars that fade in their intensity over time once God heals them.

If you survived the wounding, you will survive their healing.

From the loving hands waiting for you to come.


You made everything all right when it clearly isn’t. #TheMercifulScar

I just finished reading the book, The Merciful Scar by Rebecca St. James & Nancy Rue. (I will be quoting from each chapter for the next three weeks as inspiration for my blog posts for the rest of April)

It stirred up memories within me in would have rather stayed hidden.

God had a different plan.

When I was a teen, I dabbled in self injury as a way of coping with my inner stresses. I used sewing needles to poke myself to let the turmoil below the skin out.  Not often, but often enough. I also scratched & irritated my already hormonal skin.

When Christ found me, He showed me a different way:

Come to me,  all you who are weary and heavy laden, and you will find rest.”

I saw clearly that this habit was not one I was to practice any longer. And that all it did was scar me in the long run.

I turned to overeating when I failed to uproot the weed of self hatred & anger that is at the bottom of self injury.

I got a mini trio of tattoos to alleviate a crisis point when I hit 40.

It could have come back full force without God’s intervention.

God in His mercy set me free from this bondage a few weeks ago.

I am still trying to find my way to a new normal where I speak up for myself, choose healthy self care, and soak regularly in God’s love for me.

You see, God gets me.

He understands the impact of a scar.

I am no longer hiding my hurts away from God in a desperate attempt to control my own pain.

I turn my hurt, pain and angst over to  God, asking for His clarity, comfort and close guidance now.

I know full well the lies we can believe when we try to be god in our own lives and try to control everything.

There is a sweet release for me with words on paper, words out loud and music again.

I may have scars, but I now wear them with grace.