stand firm – KARLA LEES

The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed, I have a beautiful inheritance. I bless the Lord who gives me counsel; in the night also my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me; because He is at my right hand, I shall not be shaken.
*Psalm 16:6-8 ESV

The path has been quite rocky over this most recent leg of this journey.

Changes left & right have caused me to recenter & stand firm on the unshakeable truth: God alone is my sure foundation.

I have had to take a step back & closely examine what matters most to me, and He has been reshaping me on the inside while the storms swirl around me on the outside.

By the way, a storm is anything that tries to knock you on your Foundation. It can be a temptation, a spiritual attack, a crossing of a boundary, a sudden loss….any unexpected change, big or small.

God has been quietly prompting me to allow Him to set my boundary lines, and giving me the strength to hold fast to Him as I do.

Boundary #1: God time is in permanent marker in my schedule, wherever & whenever He wants.

Allowing Him ownership blesses my time, makes me more confident He is with me & more productive at all I do.

Boundary #2: Self care under His direction is not selfish.

This includes enforcing my need for balance. Too much work at a time leaves me exhausted & drained. As part of my work is freelance, I now have boundaries on when I will/will not work which God is helping me reinforce.

Boundary #3: After God, my family is more important.

God didn’t just randomly refer to children as treasures or gifts we were never meant to unwrap. Your spouse is to be your best friend, the one you go to first after God with whatever is bugging you. God wants us to have daily family time, however that can look for your family. Meals, DVD, walking, laughing, worshipping together…. We miss the tight bonds God planned for us when we fail to put family ahead of all else after Him.

Boundary #4: Saying no is to be welcomed when it is enforcing a boundary, and/or following His leading.

I have a hard time with this one, as several people around me like to try and bypass my no. What is urgent to them is to become my urgent project to be immediate dealt with. If I am already working, or on a day off, I need to say no or not yet. If they can’t accept it, that isn’t my problem. As the Polish saying goes, “Not my circus, not my monkeys!”

The reality is: I am not on call 24/7 to anyone but God or my family.

I suspect I am not the only one who needed to read that truth today. If your ‘no’ is not being respected, then quite honestly the requester is not respecting you. Stand up for yourself, and if you have to, take a stand. I have left a job I was very good at because my employer crossed the boundaries I had clearly set. As much as I hated doing so at the time, it was the best thing I could have done for myself to learn how to enforce my boundaries, knowing God was with me as I did so. No means no. God will back you for standing firm on a boundary He has helped you set.

Boundary #5: God & I together are free to change, adapt or create new boundaries at any time. I don’t need anyone else’s permission to follow His lead.

Now, if I do something completely out of character or fall into sin, it will become obvious to those around me whether God is in it or not. We are known by our actions & their fruit, not only our words. We are to be considerate & honor one another, and at the same time we are not be someone else’s doormat to be walked all over at their convenience.

I speak from experience that I have learned the difference between serving & being a slave.

I will not head back into the chains God rescued me from.

I had spiritually cowered like Piglet for way too long, being timid and afraid to speak up for myself. Allowing God to direct me into healthier living has enabled me to see that where He wants me to step, in His Presence, will lead me towards becoming the ‘me’ He designed me to become.

Final Thoughts:

I don’t need to apologize when I improve for the better, when Holiness & Love grip me so tight I become broken to be rebuilt into something better & more precious: More His.

My boundaries all lead back to freeing myself to live more fully in the wide open spaces of His love, mercy, grace & Presence, where He is constantly with me.

So the winds will continue to try & sweep me off my feet. Let them come, I say:

Because if I am already on my knees, I will not be shaken.

God’s promise: When I stay close to Him & follow His lead, He’s got me solidly 100% on His grip.

In His strength, I can stand firm and hold my ground when the storms circle about me.

Hold fast, dear ones.
God knows the way ahead, and the way through.
He’s got you.

All you need to say is simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.

Matthew 5:37 NIV

When the phone rings, the letter or the email arrives, a person inquires and a request is involved, God gives us two options of response.

Notice pray about it isn’t one of them in the verse above. In the context of the paragraph this verse comes from in Matthew 5, oaths are being discussed.

We are not to make oaths or swear on the life of a family member. We are to let our yes’ be yes, and no’s be no. We are to keep the words that come out of our mouth as promises.

Other than making a few key ones into covenants, God deals with us in promises.

He will be with us.
He is with us.
He loves us.
He is for us.
We are His.

These are just a tip of the promises God reveals His character and heart through to us.

God’s Yes and No are set once they are spoken. He doesn’t say what He doesn’t mean.

Our responses are to be the same.

Over the past few weeks, I covered a few extra shifts at one job, and gave 2 months notice to my other one of my shift changes (I set my own hours at this one) as a result. Once I committed to working those set shifts, my promise was given.

Unless there is a medical or major emergency beyond my control, I try to keep my yesses.

I also have been learning that if I have to ask God about it, it is likely a no.

If I don’t know whether it fits with my gifts, talents, time or family life- its a no.

If it is a major request such as sponsoring, if the budget can’t stretch, its a no.

If it isn’t something I am passionate about, or directly helping someone in need, its a no.
If its a one off, then I will know immediately if it sits right with me, especially if its relationship building. If not, you guessed it- no.

If it is going to become all about me if I step into it, its a no.

I am not called to be anyone else but me.

Just because someone thinks it might be something I should do, doesn’t mean it is.

By now, I have a pretty good grasp of who I am, flaws & all, and saying no has been an issue in the past when I was more insecure.

I realize now that stepping out when I wasn’t to be was a huge contributing factor for insecurity sneaking its way in.

Stepping out where we are meant to trod, we know the yes that lead us there was meant to be.

There are many things we are all capable of doing.

Then there are the gifts that inspire the happy place within to burst forth and passionately spread as we use it, let it grow and deepen.

There will always be requests to answer.

Yes or No.

Maybe, let me think about it, and I will get back to you are not part of Matthew 5:37.

Simple, yet complex at the same time if you don’t know yourself very well.

If the asker won’t like you for saying no, that is their problem.

God blesses us when we walk where He is guiding us. Don’t add undue stress by veering off the path trying to impress, or by mollycoddling someone’s feelings.

Let your yes be yes, and your no be no.

The enemy already has enough options to try and attack us on. Don’t give up any unnecessary ground because you are more concerned about another’s feelings than God’s plan for you.

And my last comment?
Don’t apologize, simply say no.

You don’t need to explain.
They shouldn’t push you for one.

Your boundaries should be in place to have the confidence enough to answer yes or no, and end of discussion.

Do you ever have a problem saying no? Can you relate?

There is a freedom found in saying yes to the best and no to the rest.

As you press close to His Presence, may God help you know who you are, and how He is calling you to fulfill your purpose.

Tag: stand firm

holding fast

when no is the final answer