Tag: support

seasons change

Karla Lees

A friend I haven’t connected with for a long time came to mind this morning while I was getting ready for my day.

So I asked God (which I am starting to do more & more) if I should get in touch with her.

He said, “Leave things as they are.”

I prayed for God to bless that person, then thought to myself, “Why?”

Then I heard, “Your season has passed.”

I got it.

You see, some people we encounter are only meant to be in our lives short term.

We do one another a disservice when we try to force a short term connection into a long term one.

Some times, a short term mission is meant to be short term.

You can see this in relationships that happen to across when they make a movie or are in a production together.  Close quarters can lead to a closeness with someone you wouldn’t have but for the circumstances.

God reminded me that I am not the same me I was when I was friends with this woman, and I am not to go back.

There are times when a person isn’t healthy for us, or we are awakened to the fact they never were. 

Or they seem to take off or fall apart with the arrival of every storm, also known as fairweather friends.

But we may not be able to see the truth, until the season has passed.

Then there are the friends who are in your life for the long haul.  The ones who chose to be your sisters & brothers, who can live anywhere in the world and you can pick up as if no time has passed between you.

These are your any weather, no matter the season friends. The ones who pray for you daily, lend a hand when you need one, tell you the truth when you need to hear it, and are in for the long haul. 

Jesus had a few friends like that. He left His mother’s care to one, and His church to another.

If you look through the Word, there was a large group of people who travelled with Him.

Not all stuck with Him through it all, in fact….most of them fled or let Him down when the going got tougher than they expected.

But He forgave them, each & every one. And restored the ones who would be in it with Him for the long haul, the ones who came back to Him.

We need to do the same.

If a friend has become distant, and isn’t responding to your attempts to connect, ask Him these four questions:

1. Did I do something I need to apologize for?

2. Is this person hurting & i need to let them know I am here to support them?

3. Is this her/his way of showing me this is/was a short term friendship or project only, and I need to move on?

4. Is this relationship unhealthy for me, and I need to let them go?

As hard as this season may be for you to adjust to, it is always better to have the support circle He intends for you around you.

It may not be the group you thought it would be, as God leads you through each season.

But if He is doing the leading, knowing & caring for You as He does, it will be His support system surrounding you.

Ready to walk with you through every season, as He does.

Seasons will change, but His love for you never will, ever.

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what to do when you catch a glimpse you prefer you hadn’t?

Karla Lees

Yesterday, I decided to walk around the mall I work in, and explore.

As I work on the top floor in one of the professional spaces, I don’t see many of the other businesses, beyond the food court & the stores I pass on the set route I take to catch my bus.

On my walkabout, I was struck dumb by a way larger than life ad from a company I usually have found to not be provocative or rude in their imaging and marketing.

The slogan was brilliant, the image was offensive.

It has rankled within me since I inverted my eyes in the mall, and kept walking by.

Last night, I decided to look up the company’s website to find contact info, and was confronted with the same ad on the home page. Again, shocked but this time not unexpected.

What do you do when you are confronted with something that offends you, or is counter to your beliefs?

1. Turn your eyes away from it. As soon as possible, avert your gaze. It only takes a spark to get a fire going, and as His Kids, we want the spark to set the fire of pursing Him aflame, nothing inappropriate to distract us from our pursuit!

2. If you see it along a route you take, try to avoid it. Take an alternative path, or purposefully read or chat with a friend and keep your eyes fixed somewhere else. Don’t let someone else’s muck cause you to stumble.

3. Complain. Speak up. I tweeted my disappointment to the company respectfully, and informed them of my intention not to return until the ad is down… My voice matters when it impacts sales, period.

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If evil is its source, God calls us to align with Him, and use our voice to point out the truth, no matter what it is.

4. Take your business, and/or presence, elsewhere. Don’t support businesses or buy products that cross the line.
I am a fairly loyal shopper, and I like to support local businesses and companies that reflect excellence, quality and are respectful to their customers.

5. Pray for them. Pray for the companies to listen to those who are bothered by their actions, ads or decisions. Pray for the models or actors who take roles that do not represent them as a whole person.

6. Keep your eyes fixed on Him, keep His Words in your heart & mind. Stay grounded in His truth and goodness, His holiness and love which will last forever vs the temporary thrills trying to trick you into thinking they are in the right. Allow Him to shield you.

7. Decide on a personal or family ‘code’…Let me give you a few examples:

Don’t go to the movie theater without thoroughly checking out the movie you are going to see through a reputable godly reviewer. Have a three strike rule and you are willing to walk out (we do this with dvds too). I have left a theater twice over the years and never had a problem getting a refund when I was offended by content. I also don’t mind missing the first few minutes of a movie if it means I miss the previews, which are the only wildcards left if you did your homework. We recently saw a movie that I didn’t check out through our usual wise reviewer as we impulsively headed to the show, and the last five minutes of the movie ruined it for us with unnecessary smut.

A few years ago, we decided as a family to do away with our cable/satellite TV, as we were constantly turning the channel to avoid a risqué commercial or TV show. I was also tired of spending money on preset programming bundles when we only follow about a dozen shows a year.

Instead, we purchase DVDs (Downtown Abbey!) or episodes online. We no longer watch commercials, spend less time and money watching TV, and are not seeing images we would rather not enter our home or minds. The only time we have really missed it? Major sporting events, but we have family & friends who don’t mind inviting us over to watch the games together.

Filtering what we allow in is not only up to us…

Most importantly #8: In all things, seek to honor Him first. My general rule of thumb: if God would likely take part if He was with me, then it passes. As He is always with me, I need to listen to His prompts and leading over the cultural clamor’s sometimes sloppy seconds.

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4:8

9. Break off the impact of that glimpse.
By seeing something that God didn’t intend for us to see, we need to repent, and ask Him to cleanse us from its negative impact.

10. Ask Him to help you stay the course, every day.

We don’t try to be holy because we want to be holy. We become holy when we allow God’s holiness to permeate us from the inside out. Only then will what bugs His heart bother ours.

Keeping yourself from seeing what we know was not intended for us to see is honoring the One who died to separate us from the world. As citizens of heaven, we are to live under His authority & guidance, as He wants the best for us as we live here!

As lights in the world, may we all speak up where we can when evil tries to lure us to the dark side.

Because we know light wins in the end, and we should want that for everyone we encounter, every day.

naturally caffeinated

Karla Lees

I am a rarity amongst most of my family & friends.

I don’t need to do coffee or tea to wake up in the morning.

I like to think of myself as naturally caffeinated, which is another way of saying I am wide eyed & bushy tailed from the moment I get up. I don’t need coffee or caffeine to get me going in the morning.

I have struggled over the years with many social events and family gatherings, as caffeine and I don’t get along.

Really.

Caffeine seems to spur on the growth of ovarian cysts, and brings on headaches when I cheat, usually by giving in (mostly in my mind, but not always) to peer pressure.

Because some people get offended because I don’t like coffee.

Really.

I worked professionally as a barista for 2 different coffee shops, one chain and one independent, for a collective total of between 6-7 years. I underwent a great deal of training (just short of my coffee master, as well as being our store tea expert) to recognize blends and regions of coffees, similar to what a wine sommelier undergoes. I know the difference between a well brewed coffee, and an incorrectly balanced one. I can tell what kind of food will pair nicely with the coffees I taste.

But I don’t like it.

And likely never will.

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I am a tea girl, through and through.

The thought of a chai latte sends happy shivers down my spine.

My collection of green, white, rooibos, honeybush and herbal teas , with a few must have favorite black teas for special occasions brings a smile to my face whenever I glimpse it.

I walk into my favorite tea store, and feel at home.

You could say with accuracy, I am a tea lover.

Those who know me best understand this. When some of them enjoy their coffees, I enjoy my tea when we get together to hang out.

So why am I bring that up?

Because no matter how much anyone else tells me I must like coffee, i know I don’t, and won’t.

I love the smell, I love grinding the beans, I like making and serving coffee, but unless I am paid to drink it for educational purposes, I don’t.

Whether straight up, sweetened or with any kind of milk, I prefer tea.

The same for many of you. You may love something that other people around you may not like at all, or vice versa.

You may like the team that never makes it to the play offs.

You may wear red when this season navy is the new black.

You may like hanging out with family or at church, when your coworkers are out at the pubs or dance clubs.

You may watch PG and General rated movies instead of the 18+ ones frequenting the big screen.

The only 50 shades of gray you may care about are the ones popping up on your head.

You may take good natured ribbing, be on the receiving end of some pointed criticisms or be accused of close mindedness for your likes and dislikes.

Here are the lessons I have learned about being in these situations:

1: Look them in the eye and smile. Don’t give them the power to make you feel less than.

2: You don’t need to apologize for your view point. If you believe marriage to be sacred and live your lifestyle accordingly, you don’t have to defend it, etc.

3: Your “no” is enough when someone challenges you or criticizes you. Respectfully say “I don’t agree”, or “I see it differently.” If the person is being unkind, or doesn’t respect your boundary, walk away. If the Spirit leads them to genuinely ask why, ask for His leading to answer in the way He will best speak to the seeking heart open to hear the truth.

4: Be yourself. If you like green, wear it with all the flair and enjoyment you want. If you love to sing in the shower, do it. Who cares if you sing in tune?! Love paisley or plaid, decorate whatever you want in it. Enjoy it.

However…

5: If someone will be hurt, demeaned, put down or crushed by your actions, they aren’t healthy likes. Spend some time seeking God and figuring out His best for your life. Just coz everyone else is doing it doesn’t mean God wants you to.

6: God made us all unique, but with one common trait: we were all meant to be in community, and united to Him. We are all different, but all meant to be supportive of one another’s giftings, calls and uniqueness. If you are surrounded by people who aren’t, or who ridicule your choices, find a new circle of support. Life is too short to miss being yourself, fearful of not being liked because of what you love. Or Who you love.

So I have learned that it is okay to be myself. God doesn’t want us to try and be who we aren’t.

I am one of a kind.
No one else will ever like all the things I do in the same combo pack.

And I am okay with that now!

You should be too!

#betheyouGoddesigned
#highlyfavored
#differentlyflavored