when the wait seems so long

God has been so good to me as I have been trying to figure out what He is birthing in me.

I have had all the cravings, restless nights and emotional mood swings hit in the past few weeks, as if I really was pregnant (nope, not!) as my spirit is trying to being the rest of me into this new alignment with His plans for me.

It is not a comfortable place to be, feeling like I am ready to give birth but my due date isn’t quite here yet.

Maybe you too can relate.

The tension between the now and the not yet can be agonizing at times.

The only way you can find peace in the wait is to agree with His timing, and wait.

Because getting frustrated over what might be is only putting fuel in the enemy’s hands instead of waiting for His Spirit to ignite what is to come.

I know He has good plans for me, His love for me is never failing and He adores me.

It can be hard as we wait to find out how and where we fit into the puzzle of what He is creating His Bride to be.

But we don’t wait alone.

I draw comfort from His Presence as I wait.

It doesn’t make the wait any shorter, but it makes it better as He and I wait together.

Because He gave all He had to get His Bride, I can trust He will be with me, and as I seek His design for my life, that where I best fit will be revealed.

What He wants for us to do will come to pass as we press in to Him, wait for His lead and step into the place He has waiting for us.

As we wait, He is stirring up the embers of His gifts which have been lying dormant within, just waiting to be born & breathe new life.

It will be worth the wait when we let Him lead us into place.


stop. watch. listen.

There is a way worth searching after
There is a life worth dying for
There is a hope found in the seeking
There is a truth you’ve never seen before….
Stop, watch and listen
To the Word, to the Truth

-Kim Hill

It’s really hard to not stay in motion for me at times.

I can easily get into the get it done zone, and forget to listen for His prompting & Words along the way.

I am learning my answers are not found in my reactions, but in my delay.

Say what, girl?

When I stop to watch what is really going on, and listen for His direction as I do?  It’s amazing how I am able to see that what is going on almost always doesn’t have anything to directly do with me.

Co-worker cranky?
Kids don’t want to talk?
Spouse sulky?

When we don’t take the time we all need to:

STOP & lay our burdens down before Him

WATCH with the viewpoint of Wisdom, not our own

& LISTEN for His direction & prompts

all of us can carry things we were never designed to carry long term.

I am trying to catch myself before heading straight into tense or drama filled situations, and ask Him to show me what I need to see, wait for His leading, and listen for His words – either for me alone, or to share with the other(s) is the situation.

One day, I had a coworker speak to me in a way I don’t usually take without getting defensive. However because there were others about us, and it was quite busy, I didn’t rise to the occasion & lose my cool setting them straight. God whispered to me, “I got this, let it go.” I obeyed. The situation immediately diffused because I didn’t plug into the drama, and listened to what God wanted for me to do.

You see, God was able to act through me when I delayed my reaction.

Reacting adds fuel to the fire of offense, a stopwatchlisten delay quenches the urge for the immediate response, and makes room for Him to act.

When we get out of our own way, He can more easily lead us along His ways.

I am by no means an expert at this, but I am less reactive in the press for an immediate answer. As I stop, watch what He is doing. and listen for the part I am to take moving forward, I become more peaceful & purposeful.

Holy Spirit is the key to this process.

Without Him, we could find ourselves doing irreparable damage to one another, over and over and over again.

I have realized that when I stop & invite Him into each and every situation, many times there have been spiritual reasons behind the incidents.

When we allow Him to stop us on our tracks, we can see what is really going on, and align ourselves with Him.

His timing is always perfect, and well worth our wait.

A couple of times recently, a person with a reactive tongue has tried to push my buttons big time.
And been disappointed when I refused to join in.

Beloved, you are never too old or have gone too far for Him not to teach you how to follow His lead in a deeper way.

It takes practice & faith, and three words of passive action to help you do so:


weight & see

Let the weight of glory come settle on us now….

-Bethel Music

I am learning to wait.

Like most of us, I dislike wasting time.

But I am learning in His Kingdom, time doesn’t flow in an earthy fashion.

Sometimes we need to wait.

Not because God isn’t instantly able to answer us, but because there are times where we are first meant to encounter His weight.

The weight of His glory.

When we sense how awesome and miraculous and wonderful and Holy and mighty He is, somehow regular time comes to a standstill, and the heavenly clock takes over.

I can’t describe it any other way, but I have encountered it and was mightily changed as a result.

The first time I had a “weight of glory” encounter, I had just had a miscarriage, and both my hubby & I were still reeling from the aftershock.  We ended up at a Vineyard service, and during prayer, I fell to the ground and God profoundly met me in that moment.

I was not the same after His weight fell on me.  I met God in a way I never expected, but am eternally grateful for.  He instilled a peace beyond understanding, and calmed my spirit as He spoke into my life.

This weight of glory? It is not a heavy one, the way we thing of excess weight, but a depth of understanding into who He is & how much He loves us which significantly blasts beyond normal relationship building.

In heavenly encounters, God can do more in one minute than we can accomplish in a month.

Another time, I was in a counseling session where God escalated the speed of my delivery from my past beyond what my counselors were expecting. Believers, they quickly caught on to what He was doing and joined in.  I wasn’t aware of this being unusual, until the counselors revealed their surprise at the end of the session.  He accomplished in three hours what they said would have normally taken several sessions to do.

When God shows us, the unexpected becomes possible.

If I had not been waiting expectantly for Him, I don’t believe i would have met Him in the ways I did.

The weight of glory, encountering Him, is worth my wait, and yours.

Are you weary of waiting?

Take hope, my friend.

Those that wait on the Lord will be renewed in His strength and walk in His power. (Isaiah 40:31)

Wait in His Presence.

He WILL come to those who wait for Him. (Hosea 6:3)

His Word promises us, reminds us several times, that He comes to those who wait upon Him.

And His Presence will fall with the weight of His glory on His willing vessels, waiting to be filled.


Reason #2 to Give Thanks: When it Clicks

When something somehow goes right despite your fears or concerns, somehow clicking into place unexpectedly- I give God thanks.

Coz when I invite Him in to the situation or day, He was there, and is the main reason for success when things click!  

Knowing He is always with me reminds me the praise i owe the Giver of my gifts, especially when I come to the end of my strength and ask Him to take over.

For all the times when things work out, despite all that might try to distract or remind me how impossible success will be, I give thanks! Each and every time!

Early this morning, I headed as usual on the first of two buses to an admin job I work part time. The bus schedules just changed this week with the return to school, and my usual bus was in fact an express which bypasses the connection depot I needed to catch my next bus at.
I got off on the first stop passed, crossed the road and prayed asking God to let the right bus cone as soon as possible to get me to the depot. 30 seconds later, the bus arrived, and within 10 minutes I was at the depot.

My next bus (now bus 3 instead of 2) was still waiting at the depot, and I walked right on.

To my delight & surprise, a former coworker was the scheduled bus driver!

If I had caught the first correct bus, I would have missed being on her route at that time!

God made everything click so we could reconnect, even having me take the wrong bus!

Once again, I offer Him thanks for lining up all the pieces to fit together according to His design for me today!

I will give thanks to the LORD with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds. Psalm 9:1

To you, O God of my fathers, I give thanks and praise, for You have given me wisdom and might, and have now made known to me what we asked of You. Daniel 2:23


come out

I can so relate to the scene in the movie Frozen where Anna keeps asking Elsa to come out from behind her locked door to play with her.

In fact, I cried at that scene in the movie theater. Probably not the norm for that timing in that particular movie, but it struck a chord with me.

Part of my gifting is exactly that:
encouraging people to step out of their locked rooms, cages, pasts into the freedom God has waiting for them.

And the faithfulness I have is in fact His faithfulness radiating through me, to reach those under lock down & remind them they have the key to their freedom.

Jesus is the key.

Not only figuratively, but literally.

Whomever Jesus calls free, He has set free.

Seeing it come to pass in our life requires both action, and someone who believes in us can help make all the difference.

Jesus took care of making us free, the act, and puts people in our lives to help us see the freedom He offers, and cheer us on to it.

Anna never gave up loving Elsa, even when Elsa turned her away.

Jesus never stops loving us either when we stray.

Are you hiding yourself away like Elsa? Scared to be who you sense He has made you to be, but unsure how it will look or what to do?

Hiding does nothing but tether us to the spot. Whether fear, hurt or indecision, the result is the same: we can’t move forward, we are stuck.

As with Elsa, we can spend years wasting our talents…if it weren’t for the Anna God always puts in our life to point us to God, and our freedom.

Its time to come out of hiding.
Turn the key,
open the door,
step through
let go…
of the past
of your fear
of your hurts

Come out, come out
wherever you are.

Your freedom awaits.

And because I am a little creatively wired, I am sharing a Face in the Hole image i put together to remind me that how that I have been set free to walk as He designed (Elsa) I am now to be an Anna to help others live free!


in the wait


Sometimes, all you can do in the wait is worship.

I am so thankful for my best friends today. I was awaiting some test results (i have some inflammation in some joints not going away) and instead of hiding myself away (my usual for things that concern me directly) I asked God to help keep my mind focused on something else instead.

Impromptu coffee with 3 girlfriends before my appointment helped, as did reading through the Psalms this morning.

Sometimes all you can do in the wait is worship….

I have several friends seeking answers and direction right now. We all tend to have a question or two we want God to answer, right?

Sometimes God says no because He doesn’t want us to go through that door, because He knows the damage we could encounter on the other side.

Sometimes God seems silent, because we really haven’t asked Him the real question on our hearts, because we are afraid He won’t love us anymore.

Sometimes God seems distant, because we withdraw inside ourselves from believing the blessings He has are really for us,  because if God really knew us, He wouldn’t want us any longer.

Sometimes God says yes, and confirms yes in a miraculous amazing way that dumbfounds us until we cannot contain the joy within any longer.

But sometimes God doesn’t appear to answer, because His answer is to wait. Not yet.

And its the not as clearly answered times, the feeling like we are in a drought, or on our own, where the secret to maintaining our hope becomes more evident.

It is in worshipping Him where we can rest in the waiting.

The laying it all down before Him, our hopes, dream, questions, wounds, hurts, brokenness, questions…. is an act of worship.

Giving our all to the One who deserves our attention 24/7, 365 days a year because of who He is, let alone what He has done for His people over the centuries, and what He will do into eternity.

Worship in the waiting opens our eyes to see who He really is, opens our ears to hear His quiet loving voice, opens our minds to sense His leading, and opens our hearts to receive His love.

Sometimes our waiting is designed to reach us, change us in a deeper fashion than a quick yes or straight no can.

Because sometimes we aren’t yet ready to hear the answer, let alone accept it.

When we draw near to God in worship, He equips us for what we need, right now, for what we are dealing with right now.

Sometimes His Presence is more than enough to help us through.

Today, God clearly demonstrated that although I had some test results come back, I need to wait until the next assessment coming up for more clarity.

And He has given me a peace beyond what I expected, as I keep my eyes fixed on Him on this path.

Whatever His timing, I choose to place my hope in knowing He has the best in store for me no matter what I see.

In a new way today, I found hope in His Presence.



I struggle with this..being considered beautiful.

For me, beauty always is reflected from the inside out. The character and integrity, the genuine smile that reached their eyes, a grace to move in confidence, knowing who their Abba is.

I struggle to wrap my head around what my heart already knows is true- I am His beloved, and He thinks I am radiantly beautiful.

I think it may be because God sees not only who we are now, but the whole woman that hasn’t yet been discovered, or uncovered, yet.

God loves me. And thinks I am beautiful.

Because I carry God within me wherever I go, I can be reminded of that truth of God’s – that God sees me as whole, holy and spotless, because of what Jesus has done for me, you, us.

In God’s sight, I am restored, beautiful, beloved.

Seeing myself- I waver, feel average on a good day, and insecure.

One is an earthly perspective.
The other, the heavenly reality.

Seeing myself through His eyes helps me keep my life in perspective.

I am beautiful in His sight.
And for tonight, exhausted, weary and broken, that is sweet music to my soul, and a calm balm for my heart.

step back & behold, beloved

When we’re not so busy pushing in to belong, we step back and behold. We find we’re beloved right here with wide spaces for God to work.
Alia Joy, http://www.narrowpathstohigherplaces.com


We need space in order to appreciate the bigger picture.

When we hold things too tight or are too insecure to take a step back, we can miss what is really going on:

You are beloved.
All the time.

There is nothing you can do to change how much God adores you. He may like your behavior more some days, but His love for you is secure.

God is always working for your good.
All the time.

He doesn’t start working on you, and get distracted by something new, and shuffle you to a waiting area or holding zone. He finishes all He starts.

We are in.
All the time.

Once you become part of the family, you are in. For eternity. You may lose sight of that truth, but God doesn’t.
You are secure.

The closer we hold things tight, the less room we give God to move in the ways He is longing to. We need space. Wide open spaces to run free, rest and be rejuvenated. Freedom to just be.

God is in those wide open spaces when we leave the room for Him to work in them.

I was in a job a few years ago that didn’t want to stay relegated to just being work. It wanted to invade home and private time, and refused to stay in the boundaries it needed to in order for me to keep working there.

God clearly told me to take the leap, let the job go and trust Him to work in the void it would leave behind.

I now work for 8 different businesses doing what I love to do. My job security has been left in God’s hands versus my own, and He has taken me further than I could have envisioned.

He knows me better than I know myself.

And I am so glad.

When we know we are secure no matter what, we are able to hope for the future, trust God will provide, and build our faith for God to move us beyond our expectations into our dreams.

I have a few areas left in my life that God has had me taken my hands off of trying so hard in, and trust they will happen in His timing. Not mine.

So as we wait for God, may we all experience the security in knowing He is for us, and He will bring all His plans for us to pass as we rest in His release and timing.