when you are the owner of a broken heart

Friend, today I am going to share from the heart one of the biggest lessons I have ever learned about brokenness.  My prayer is that the same God who is rebuilding the broken pieces with me will give you a glimpse of hope where you are feeling broken.

Maybe you and I, we’re never meant to be complete. Could we just be broken together? If you can bring your shattered dreams and I’ll bring mine. Could healing still be spoken and save us? The only way we’ll last forever is broken together. – Broken Together- Casting Crowns

Relationships are hard.

Especially the ones with the people you interact with every day.

Because in our own way, deep down within each of us, we are broken.

Some more than others, but no one walks this earth unscathed in some way.

Not even Jesus did.

I have found that when I am feeling broken, I have a tendency to hide away, lick my wounds and brood. Occasionally, a full blown cry fest erupts, leaving me exhausted on top of the broken pieces I am trying so hard to hold together.

But we were designed for community. With our best friends and families, but especially in marriage, if we have been blessed with that gift.

These past 25 years together, my hubby and I have had a lot of mileage into the realm of brokenness. It has been harder than I imagined at times, more painful than I ever thought, and gone deeper than I ever dreamed possible.

Yet together we are stronger because of it, for we can see God moving better in each other at times than we can sense Him moving within ourselves.

Building one another up when the other is feeling low. Being the shoulder to cry on when we need to let it out.

Because the secret to being broken in a marriage and still staying married?

The three stranded cord.

By yourself you’re unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst. Can you round up a third? A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped.  Ecclesiastes 4:12 (MSG)

When even one of you invite God into your marriage, He intertwines Himself into it. He becomes the stabilizer, the marriage counselor. He gives you the love to express when you feel empty, yet your hubby needs to know you care. He gives your hubby the strength to just listen & tell you he loves you.

Without God, our marriage would not have made it this far.

Because in our own strength we would have run on empty long ago.

It’s not about having made a bad pick, or being a mismatched pair.

It’s making the one you are with your mate, supported by the Love that never fails, never gives up and never runs out on either of you, or your marriage.

If you know you are broken and need help, pray and ask God to bring you to the right resources, or bring the best help to you.

Your spouse’s brokenness isn’t for you to heal, that is His job. They need your support and love as they face their own brokenness and support you in yours.

God knew when He designed marriage that we would need one another:

In better, in worse.
In sickness, in health.
With wealth, without much.
Whether whole or broken.

The amazing thing I have found? My hubby and I have not been so broken in the same ways that we couldn’t be there for one another. Often not perfectly, but present none the less.

In His mercy, He makes us the mate our spouse needs. Whether we have broken bits or not.

Only God can take what is broken, and shape it to make something beautiful.

  • He is with us, every step of the journey.
  • His Presence draws closer with every request for Him to come and be nearer.
  • His love, strength, grace and mercy are more than enough for what you and your spouse may face today.

He longs to restore and repair where we are broken, and can do amazing things when we place ourselves in His hands.

Broken together with the Potter makes for a beautiful finish beyond belief.

When we give Him all the pieces, He can make us whole again, one piece at a time.

broken together

#broken #hopefortheharddays #hopeinHisPresence



Yesterday was officially Infant & Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day.

Those of us who have lost a child know three key things from our loss:

1. We think about it way more than once a year.

2. We need to talk about it more than once a year.

3. Things have been forever changed.

Once a year only serves as a jump off point for those who need to heal from this kind of loss.

Let me tell you, almost nothing in my life has been more traumatic than the loss of my first pregnancy.

Discovering that I carried him, and the heartbreak of losing him all within a six week period impacted me hard, like falling into a cement block would.

Yet this wee one, whose feet never touched the ground, had a positive impact upon me too.

For God reminded me:
– He had made him (I believe his name is Andrew) and gifted us with him. 
-all life is precious to Him, regardless of how long we get to spend here on earth
-He was with me in Andrew’s conception, his growth and his departing. He never left my side through it all.

I think often what life would have been like had Andrew made it to birth, and at every stage I have celebrated in wonder as my two miracles have grown before my very eyes.

You see, I was so traumatized by losing my first child that I was literally a fear time bomb when I realized I was pregnant again, with my daughter.

Yet God was so gracious in how He poured love, freedom and hope within me as He reassured me He was with me, every time I ran to Him & nestled into His embrace.

I discovered joy in both my following pregnancies, despite my fear.

My delivery of my daughter was a whole other drama (think about having a dozen witnesses!) but I made it through, and delighted in her arrival.  My son’s delivery was scarier, yet God gave me a peace beyond comprehension that he was going to make it, and he did.

Because I had been set free from the heartbreak of loss, I was able to whole hearted accept the gift He handed me. New life.

All my children have been incredible gifts.

One i will meet face to face beside Jesus.

The other two I am honored to say I will have the pleasure of introducing to their sibling who went on ahead one heavenly moment yet to come.

Sometimes when you have lost, in my case, the depth God went to to heal me from my miscarriage, you are blessed to have a heightened wonder at what you have been given afterwards.

If you too have lost a child, in utero or after birth, my heart goes out to you.

My heart has been made whole again despite my losses, grief and trials because its Maker has touched me and brought me back to life.

My prayer is that you will allow Him to do the same.

And may He rise up around you those who you can share your burden and grief with, who will direct you back to the Healer of all wounds, hurts & brokenness, as they love you alongside you in your loss.

Yet Andrew’s tiny feet have left an imprint on my heart which will never leave, nor do I want them to. I am a better mom, more compassionate friend, and can find joy in the mundane of the day to day because I know that I know He is with me, each step, every moment.

Losing Andrew and meeting God in the whirlwind of the emotion which followed taught me that.

Sunday Psalm: wHOLY Worthy

Only You are worthy
of all our praise & adoration
O Lord.

Its only Your blood,
Your sacrifice
that cleanses us,
makes us whole.

Its only Your Presence
Your holiness
that reminds us
how much we need You
every moment
of every day.

My holeness
is made whole
Your wHOLYness.

So I come close,
thankful Jesus covered me, restored me
so I can draw near
and become
as You intended.

I offer all I am,
all I have
back to You
as a whole sacrifice
with a grateful heart,
humbling bowing
before the One
who made,
& holds us all.

In You alone
my hope, my whole
is found.



when history & destiny intersect

Our scars reflect our history but they don’t determine our destiny; they’re the intersection where our pain meets the needs of others.
David Cassidy

I used to feel badly about my scars, both the visible and private ones.

Not any longer.

Without my life experiences, I would not be who I am today.

I would not have hit rock bottom, and looked up to see the One who came not only to rescue me, but bind up my wounds,
heal my heart, mind & spirit,
and continuously pours His very life and live into me.

My scars may show the world i’ve been wounded in battle, but God sees them as testimony of His Presence in my life.

For they are now scars, not open sucking the life out of me wounds.
He has made me whole.

The next time you think your scars are not of any importance, see how much they relate to how He has gifted you.

I can write, sing & share how He has given me a full makeover, because I was the one needing the full renovation.

I can relate, because I once walked there.

I refuse to allow the enemy to stir up guilt or shame about what God has healed & sealed as finished.

If you struggle with your scars, spend sometime with Him today.

Share your heart.

Hear His beating for you.

Rest in His embrace.

Listen for His love & wisdom whispers.

He awaits you, sister, brother.

He is waiting to continue your healing.

When heaven intersects with humanity, new life happens.

For He has never stopped being in the Creation business.

In Him, by Him and because of Him, all things can be made new!



Ripping off the bandaid to show the partially healed wound below& exposing it to the air can be very painful…yet somehow refreshing at the same time.

There are many wounds within everyone in various stages of healing.

At any given time, anyone of us could be dealing with aftermath or fall out…

your spouse cheats on you
a loved one has cancer
you lost your job
your car died unexpectedly
your husband switched careers
your parent passed away
your child is struggling to breathe
a friend or coworker starts being unkind
your furnace dies in the winter storm
you have constant pain

And it hurts.
How it hurts.

There are only two things I can tell you:

God’s been there.

He cares for you in the midst of it all.

God did not have an easy time dealing with humanity from the get go:

Adam & Eve cheated on Him with Satan.
The cancer of sin entered the world.
The battle for the Kingdom began.
People strayed from Him, in the back & forth dance of their lack of commitment & devotion, breaking His heart over & over.
They disbelieved His love.
He set out to prove Himself, this Maker of the Heavens & Earth, and everything in them both, to us… becoming fully human in a divine attempt to right the wrong sin and the enemy were reaping on humanity.
From the very beginning. His life was at risk as He was regularly oppressed by the establishment,
Persecuted and abandoned by the religious,
even put to death because people so feared change,
rejected by the very ones He had come to save.
Beaten, battered, ridiculed and tossed aside by humanity, Jesus hurt to the very core at His Father having to turn His back on Him on the cross, and Holy Spirit having to pull away due to the weight of all our sin.

I think He died from that broken heart of separation from the ones He loved, not only because of the sin He bore.

Jesus? He gets the pain we feel.

When the tears begin to flow from the wounds that run deep, He so understands.

And He offers you His nail scarred hand to draw you close, as He begins the dance of restoration He intended for us.

For His plan is to make us whole, to restore what life and sin has stolen or ripped from our grasp. To carefully rebuild our broken hearts to beat with His love flooding our veins, bringing us the life He designed for us to live from the very start.

God designed us to live in the garden of His Presence, where all we need and long for is found in Him.

Sometimes, the pain can speak louder than the hope we have within.

Jesus so gets that. Even He cried out asking God for help along the way while He was here among us.

He knows the beat way for us to make it through this life is at His side.

I needed the reminder again today that He has good plans for those He loves.

I know He loves me.
Oh how He loves you & I!

May we all be reminded of Your heart for us in the swirl of the aftermath that follows the storms.

May Your voice be the one we hear soaring above the noisy wind and wild waves.

May Your arms be the shelter we seek when our heart cannot take anymore, and we need comfort – no matter what comes our way.

May the aftermath calm as You speak Your love into our wounds, and carefully begin to heal us within.



When words cut deep, anger rises to the surface
as the first line of defense.

Some of us are able to tame it more quickly than others, while some struggle to get it under control.

One thing we all have in common…

We all hurt when words are used as weapons.

Especially when the one throwing them is a loved one.

Someone we trust, pour our hearts out to, live with.

Deep emotions erupt when we are wounded.

I think the deeper the love, the deeper the hurt.

Betrayal doesn’t hurt if you don’t care about the betrayer.

There is one who responded so radically different in a horrible situation, it has mindboggled millions over the years.

In the Garden of Gethsemene, Judas approached Jesus and betrayed him.

Not just for the money he was given to do so, but I suspect he saw Jesus do so much good, he wanted to push Jesus to the next level…force His hand to reveal more of who He is, for the new Kingdom to come in his present.

And instead of being angry…which almost everyone who reads that story for the first time feels…
Jesus acknowledges him.
Without anger.
Lets Judas, one of his closest friends, kiss him on the cheek in a greeting, knowing it will be for the last time.

Jesus’ heart must have been cut to the quick, in a very natural human response.

However, Jesus knew, as He was (and is and always will be) God that Judas would betray Him, and would pay a high price for doing so.

And so chose to show compassion instead of anger.

Sometimes our actions can speak louder than our rage ever could.

The rest of the disciples were confused, surprised and more than a little angry. I love how Peter does what I would imagine any strong able bodied man would do in defense of one he cared for…he sprang into action in attack mode. He tried to harness the anger into action.

Notice how Jesus heals the ear of the man Peter assaulted.

Caring for his enemy even in such a time as when His heart was breaking.

Showing forgiveness instead of anger. Even though He had every right to feel hurt by the one He loved.

Love poured out of His wounds instead of anger.

Anger given over to God will not hinder us from fulfilling our purpose.

The anger we cling onto and refuse to let go of binds us to our wounding, keeping us with open wounds and hurting hearts.

Its time to allow God to heal the wounds earthly love has left behind with His everlasting, good and perfect love.

He wants to drain the infection of anger, bind us up and set us free to become whole.

Will you let Him transform you with His love?
This same love that poured out when He was cut, for you and for me.



When you hit a wall, where do you go?

When that question doesn’t get the answer you hoped for, or any answer for that matter, what do you do?

When you can’t see the next step before you, how do you go on?

Life may stump you.

In all likelihood, it already has, and it will likely do so again, and again, and probably again.

I no longer see bring stumped from a depressing view point.

You see, as long as that stump has roots, it has possibility.

It partly depends on the type of tree, and the ground it is rooted in.

A tree that has already weathered hard storms, drought and disease will keep determinedly trying to grow.

A tree with shallow roots, who never learned to grow deep in difficult seasons, won’t make it.

Which are you?

Are you rooted in God, whose depth is never ending? Who provides for all who have been added to His family tree? Who will never leave you, no matter what weather is up ahead? Who quenches your thirst? Sends the refreshing rains to soak you?

Are you rooted in the world, who is flighty, ever changing and undependable? Who decides one day to live one way, and the exact opposite the next? Where the standard is what feels good, vs what IS good?

Are you rooted in yourself? Locked up within so you can’t put down healthy roots? Feeding your roots with the poison you absorbed in the past? Creating more toxins inside the longer you stay on your own?

Are you ready for health yet?

A tree may be stumped, in part because it needed to be cut down (used for a purpose), pruned (to remove dead growth, diseased sections) or in the way (inconvenience).

There is nothing that can stump the one who designed and made you.

He knows the path you are on, the safe way to navigate it, and promises to Himself walk along side you as you journey together.

There is no stump too far gone for God not to bring it back to life.

If you are broken, He can fix you.

It may not look like how the world considers being fixed, but it has eternal value.

If you are confused, He will guide you.

He knows the design He made you for. How you will best grow fruit, find peace and joy as you walk with Him.

If you are in pain, He will comfort you.
His arms are always open and available.

If you are bound, He will set you free.
The past nor your enemies cannot keep an eternal God, beyond our time limitations, from opening the cage and letting you out. The one God sets free IS free, whether you feel it or not.

Its time to set down roots in the One who can best care for you, the Gardener of your soul.

Plant yourself in Him.

Don’t allow bring stumped to keep you from your purpose.

You were meant to grow.


The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalm 34:18

You hear the cry of the broken… You hear the cry of the broken. You answer the cry of the broken…You answer the cry of the broken.

-Darlene Zschech

I hit broken again this Tuesday.

I was out of the blue suddenly whammied kind of hurt in a very unexpected, deep way by someone I absolutely adore.

And it broke me in a way I didn’t expect.

I was so hurt, I could barely speak. Since my throat had been bugging me over the past while, I don’t think anyone noticed.

God did.

He knew the crying that was surging with every painful heart beat on the inside.

He knew it was hard to breathe, let alone avoiding breaking down.

How crushed I felt in my soul.

And in the middle of that broken, hurting place, He met me.

I picked up my guitar, and offered genuine praise despite my heavy brokenness. He listened.

I shared briefly with a few friends, and asked them to pray. He listened.

My silence spoke louder than I realized, for the person later the next day contacted me to share what had been really going on on their inside, which had nothing to do with me. They apologized for venting, and relationship was restored.

There are times when the risk to love deeply means we will be cut deeply by those we love.

But love is always worth it.

Jesus is the best example of that kind of love.

He loved us so much, He willingly enfolded Himself into human form, and loved among us. He was rejected by many He loved, hurt by betrayal, left alone. His body was battered and broken, because of His love.

The pain must have cut Jesus deeply.
The coming reward must have been enough to help Him stay focused on the plan, not His pain.

Abraham, offering his son of promise, Issac, to the God who gave Him the promise & that miracle son, would have been a broken man as he made the preparations in obedience to hearing God’s voice.

God as Father did nothing less with us as He let Jesus die on the cross. A broken hearted Father, watching His son broken for the sins of the world.

The broken are precious to God.
He never leaves us in our brokenness. Instead, He loves us into who He designed us to be.

Wholly loved.

Being broken was never meant to be a permanent state of being, but only a temporary stop in your life.

Don’t miss out on what God has for you and who He has for you to be because you cannot see beyond your brokenness.